Well there are rumors about Jeff Jarrett returning tonight.
We hope he takes us out of here. In any instance, this is a go home show
tonight. Strangely, not so much for the PPV. Try to watch anyway.
Ethan Carter III brags about finding a legacy to face TNA
World Heavyweight Champion Kurt Angle. We finally signed Ted DiBiase Jr.
Angle says he can’t wait to shut EC3 up next week. Guess
Sunday is too early. He wants to know EC3’s choice, prompting the challenger to
come out. EC3 says that Angle is only the best for now. Angle says two things
will happen: Next week EC3 taps, and his opponent taps. EC3 then says he’s
beaten everyone put in front of him, and he’s just getting started. Angle says
ego goes too far. Should've warned Dixie. EC3 says he’ll never tap, and reveals
Angle will face Matt Hardy.
Low-Ki vs. Tigre Uno vs. Grado. The graphics are green,
like the belt we had painted. As the action starts, Josh Mathews hypes the new
belt. He may have it on his podcast. Tigre Uno tries to lift Grado, but like
Bill Dauterive in a trap, he’s too fat. It isn’t long however before he is
eliminated by Low Ki. The pace quickens with the lighter wrestlers facing off. Tigre
Uno takes over early on, and prevents Low Ki from getting any sustained
offense. Tigre Uno wins in a quick, but exciting match. Christy Hemme tries to
get a few words, but we don’t speak Spanish.
Jeremy Borash tries to get a few words in before Bram
interrupts and issues another open challenge. Afterwards, Borash has a Mastadon-sized
hand on his shoulder. Borash saying “It’s time” only means one thing.
TNA Knockout Champion Taryn Terrell is angry at the Dollhouse.
We imagine she’ll get in trouble again. At Slammiversary, we get them vs. Brook
and Awesome Kong. First match announced.
Angelina Love vs. Velvet Sky is next. If Velvet wins, she
gets her job back. Velvet starts by beating Angelina like she owed her money.
Though a lot of people owe the roster money. Velvet throwes her around before
Angelina uses a dropkick to the outside to gain momentum. Angelina brings
Velvet back into the ring to work her over with several strikes. When Angelina
attempts to go off the top, Velvet takes the opportunity to comeback in this
match. Angelina briefly takes over before missing with the Botox Injection, and
getting hit with the rock boob stunner for the win.
The Dirty Heels in a choppy segment. talk about how they
did not learn to wrestle with weapons. The image of Eddie Sharky, Val Venis, or
Shane Sewell swinging a chair during training is funny for some reason.
MVP in a choppier video talks about having a strategist’s
mind. We hope he has a strategy for fixing the video.
The Wolves vs. The Dirty Heels in match #4 of their
series. The Wolves use the rules to their advantage, as they double team early
on with chairs, and their own moves. The
Dirty Heels brainstorm outside, and use a ladder to cut off the offense from the
Wolves. Tweet of the night comes from @dbooth513: Still buffering. When we come
back, the Dirty Heels are dissecting the Wolves. At some point, the Heels go
with another Chinlock Randy. They keep the advantage with chairs and trashcan
lids. Too much showboating however leads to a reversal by the Wolves. Now they
again use the weapons of this match to take the match their way. The Wolves hit
three suicide dives to the outside to put the Dirty Heels down. Once back inside,
the Wolves use chairs to put Austin Aries down to try to get the pin, but Bobby
Roode makes the save. Eddie Edwards gives Davey Richards a chain to put on his
shinpad. Before he can use is, Aries rolls him up and tries last chancery.
Edwards makes the save. After this, the Dirty Heels team up against Edwards.
The Dirty Heels use a dropkick into a powerbomb through the table. Even that
only gets two. After a quick brawl, the Wolves then use a double Van Terminator
on Aries. When the Wolves go to finish the match, Roode low blows and gets the
win. All tied up for the last match.
Borash talks with Matt, who says that he accepted the
match not for EC3, but to have a match with the Champion. EC3 says Matt has to
kiss the ring for a shot. Matt retorts by asking what EC3’s legacy is if he
taps.
Feigning surprise by The Pope means Jeff Jarrett and
Karen are in the ring for Superclash III. Jarrett, after saying basically “Global
Force is a pretty big deal”, he announces he’s taking part in a king of the
mountain match at Slammiversary. These match announcements would be a lot
better had management spaced them out over several broadcasts. Jarrett brings
up the great wrestlers we’ve had, some of which still work here. Karen’s got
the mic. RUN! She tries to act human when she goes over the process of
approving this match in what seems like he’s appearing at the last show. Jarrett
talks about winning the match. Which we imagine may be for the Championship, and
basically says Toby Keith told him to win. At least our possible last PPV will
be interesting.
Bram vs. Vader. Despite his Vic Grimes gear, Vader looks
ready. After a feeling out period, Vader out-brawls Bram. This feels like Kane
and The Big Show dominating in 2015. Bram is able to battle back and pull the
mask off. Bad move. Now we have to hope he doesn’t see us staring at how he
looks old. After Vader tries a Vader bomb, Bram rolls out and gets a turnbuckle
to brain Vader with like Kane did in 1998. Matt Morgan makes the save, which
means we’ll hear his “WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
YOUAWAKEN! A SLEEPING GIANNNNNT”! music one more time.
Eric Young vs. Chris Melendez is next up. Young brawls
early on shouting Melendez doesn’t belong here. Honestly, few belong here. Young
throws Melendez all around the ring for a good three minutes. As Josh makes an
awkward plug, Young tries to pull the leg off. After a few more minutes of the
squash, Young gets the win. Not much to note. Seems like Melendez wanted money.
As in some money.
Back from break, and The Rising and the Beat Down Clan
brawl. Which leads us to once again say that like the Patriots, we have Homicide
and Hernandez. He helps the BDC stand tall after the brawl.
Angle vs. Matt is the main event. 2 WWECW originals face
off. Matt starts off targeting the knee and back, but a quick suplex gives
Angle the battle early on. Angle is in charge before Matt uses a legsweep to
take advantage. After a yay boo spot, Angle delivers more Germans than a European
mail order bride service. However Matt uses an opening for a side effect. We
find out Aries and Davey will face off Sunday. Another great PPV match wasted.
Angle locks in the ankle lock, but Matt gets out and tries a pin. When Angle
takes over, more Germans. Matt again gets out and hits three more side effects.
Angle still won’t stop. After an attempt at a twist of fate, Matt is able to
hit it. Angle still kicks out. Angle is able to block Matt’s offense, and use
an ankle lock to win. After EC3 tries to assault Angle, Matt makes the save
before eating a Samoan spike by Tyrus, who eats an Angle slam. EC3 tries to
attack, but gets ankle locked.
So ends the last Impact before both Slammiversary, and
Bell to Bell. While the legends will likely be at the PPV, this was more of a
go home show for next week. Not a good sign as to where the priorities lie.
Until next week, we wish you well.
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