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Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Impact Review 2/2/2016

Last week showed a good show is possible. This week, we try to beat that.

We see earlier that Ethan Carter III writes a place for an interview to be conducted.

TNA World Heavyweight Champion Matt Hardy says Jeff Hardy sinned when he challenged Matt for the belt. Reby says it didn’t have to be this way, but everyone said Matt lived in Jeff’s shadow. Matt says what happened was business. TNA WB Champion Eric Young and Bram are next out. Young talks about how those that took his shot away suffered. He adds that Matt is not in danger, but the gold goes through him. Kurt Angle is next. He says Matt has been disrespecting the Championship. Angle then makes it known he’s facing Matt for the belt. Matt says Angle politicked for his shot, and if Angle pushes him, he’ll end Angle’s farewell tour early. Angle says he can beat them all. Matt says if that’s how he wants it. Beer Money make this overbooked when they talk about beating up Matt, and they’ll be sure to stop Young and Bram. Then Crazzy Steve and Abyss, and TNA World Tag Team Champions The Wolves emerge. This leads to Beer Money and The Wolves challenging Young, Bram, and the team referred to as the Decay in a hardcore match.

A recap of last week’s feast or fired results, Drew Galloway acting as the John Matrix to Mike Bennett’s Bennett. We now see Drew, who feels like he hit the lottery, leading Tyrus to try to intimidate Drew. Drew then remembers Tyrus was #1 contender to the Heavyweight World Championship of the World.

Bobbly Lashley faces Aiden O’Shea. Aideun attacks Lashley before he’s ready. This leads to Raquel: Remember her? walking out. Aiden keeps brawling with Lashley, including punching away. Lashley is able to duck a clothesline, and sends him outside. When Lashley asks why she’s out there, Aiden attacks with a punch. Aiden brings Lashley into the ring and locks in a chinlock. Lashley powers out and makes his comeback. Lashley then spears Aiden to win. After the match, Raquel gets into the ring and gets a microphone. She says he would see her again, and that she either gives him pain or pleasure. Guess he’ kayfabe not married given she’s kayfabe married to Teddy.

Maria’s getting ready to walk out. We found out she hates Dante’s Inferno.

EC3 breaks his silence later.

Maria talks about how she’ll save the Knockout division.. This leads to TNA Knockout Champion Gail Kim saying they’ve known each other for a while. Maria interrupts to say she will lead Gail to things beyond wrestling. Gail then challenges her. This leads to the exchange getting more heated. Maria runs like a Bella is behind her.

Beer Money and The Wolves talk nice before hinting at a match between then down the line, then remembering they are teaming later.

EC3 pacing, and will speak later.

Davey Richards and Crazzy Steve start this match by brawling with a chair and bat. Once it returns to the ring, Davey has an early assault, but Crazzy Steve slugs away before each man grabs the other’s weapon. Davey hits the chair in Crazzy Steve’s hand. Bram emerges with a turnbuckle and a multi-year contract. The heels utilize the team assault. James Storm is next up with a keg. He’s ready to book! Storm beats Bram up to the steps, then uses a chair to ram the keg into Bram’s groin twice, ensuring we have no more of him. Young emerges with a kendo stick going into break. Back from break, Everyone’s brawling as we get a lame plug. Eddie Edwards then chops Bram as Abyss walks out with Rosemary. Abyss aims for Storm, but misses as Young attacks Davey inside the ring. Eventually, Davey battles out and faces Young and Crazzy Steve, but Abyss chokeslam him. Bobby Roode uses a hockey stick to even things out. Roode next spinebusters Young before getting chokeslammed by Abyss. The Wolves start a quick spot that sees random line-ups in brawling. All four faces suplex Young and Bram. As they observe the damage, Abyss black hole slam. Beer Money then brawl with Young and Bram. Davey goes to hit Crazzy Steve with the belt, but is misted, black hole slammed, and pinned.

Angle prepares, but Drew thanks him for a great recent match. As Angle puts him over, Drew asks for another match if Angle wins. Angle says it’s on.

Drew and Tyrus starts with a brawl, and Tyrus spitting at the table. Awesome. As Tyrus uses a nerve hold on Drew, Drew fights out, but is flung into the corner. Drew tries punching, but is T-Bone suplexed. Tyrus goes for a splash, but Drew rolls out of the way. Drew gets the big man cornered with chops and kicks before going up to and delivering a clothesline. Drew then goes for a future shock, but gets an Ox Baker/Undertaker heart punch. As Tyrus goes to 10-punch, he is powerbombed. As Drew goes for his win, the lights go out and Maria distracts. Bennett then hits Drew with the briefcase. Bennett then taunts.

Angle talks about how he’s wrestled great matches before Lashley interrupts him.

TNA X-Division Champion Tigre Uno ready to defend. Gregory Shame Helms walks out in his green jacket to tell Tigre Uno is not ready for him. Guess their feud is not about a belt. Trevor Lee defected. Lee starts by brawling with Tigre Uno. Tigre Uno tries to fly, but Lee uses a forearm to bring his opponent down. As Lee then uses a chinlock, he then uses the mask to slam Tigre Uno to the ring floor. Again, Tigre Uno keeps going, even using a roll-up, but Lee kicks out. As the match moves outside, Tigre Uno uses a hurricarana. As Tigre Uno tries to win inside, Lee is able to fisherman for a win.

EC3 speaks next.

EC3 says he’s been reflecting. He says he knows he had advantages and was a jerk. He adds it took everything Matt had to win. EC3 says he’s not running away. He will be shadowing Matt on the tour.

Matt vs. Angle is the main event. Reby throws her coat, and Matt attacks. Matt goes for an early win. Tyrus gets a quick shot in early, leading to a Matt chinlock. Angle gets out, and enters Matt into the suplex township going into break. Back from break, Angle has an anklelock on Matt. Matt rols Angle outside. Tyrus attacks before again causing trouble with everyone. After several reversals, Angle locks in another anklelock. Matt gets out and hits a side effect to get two. Angle hits an Angle slam to get two. We get a yay/boo before Matt eyerakes. Angle responds with a flurry of German suplexes. Matt roughs referee Brian Hebner and low-blows to get two. Matt goes for a twist of fate, but is hit with a triple German suplex. Reby stops Angle’s ascent, leading to a super twist of fate in order to retain.

Tonight was the best in weeks. It’s not perfect, but the mistakes are declining. Hope this really keeps into next week.

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Impact Review 1/26/2016

Last week saw a brutal idea with TNA World Heavyweight Champion Matt Hardy turning last week on Ethan Carter III. This week: It has to work

Jeff Hardy saying he needs to paint to think shows a recap of last week’s main event leads to Jeff walking out in his thinking paint. He says he had a week to process what happened. He says he wants answers from Matt. Jeff wants answers. This leads to Matt, with new music, to slowly emerge with Reby, Maxel and Tyrus. Reby talks about how she was there for Matt when no one else was, and that Matt doesn’t need any of them. Jeff refers to her and Matt as a “bitch”, which leads to Matt saying Jeff’s in his shadow. Matt says listening to her advice worked. Matt asks Jeff to be happy for him. Jeff says he is not happy for Matt knowing how he won the gold. Matt then says they are going their separate ways. The fans begin to chant EC3, leading to Jeff saying EC3 earned it. Jeff then lays out a challenge for Matt to defend tonight. Matt says he will not be responsible for what happens tonight. Basically saying yes.

The wrestlers talk about Feast or Fired. Speaking of which, it’s next. First Beer Money walk out going into break. Back from break, Drew Galloway, TNA Reverse Ladder Match Champion Eric Young and Bram are next. Grado tries to shake hands with Aiden O’Shea, and gets beat up. Jesse Godderz goes for a briefcase, but Robbie E keeps him from getting it. Josh Mathews’ plug is added. Bobby Roode gives Bram a blockbuster. After this, Roode battles Rockstar Spud. Both men get out of the others finisher before Aiden sends Roode outside. Drew brawls with Eli Drake. Aiden is stopped by Grado, who uses Aiden to Swagger getting briefcase #2 going into break. Back from break, and Drake mkes a climb before deciding to beat up Drew. Drew however, gets out, and beats up Young, and Claymore’s Bram 10 years into the past: 1996. Drake beats on Drew, and gets him in a tree of woe. Drew German suplexes him, and grabs briefcase #1. Chris Melendez tower of powers Robbie E and Young before being sent outside. James Storm hurricaranas Aiden, but eventually only Jesse remains. He goes for one before Robbie E stops him. Meanwhile, Drake latest fact of life is he secures briefcase #4. Young and Bram attack Melendez, then Spud. This leads to Beer Money taking the fight to both men. Eventually Roode delivers a spinebuster to Bram. As Young tries for the last briefcase, he is stopped be Storm. After Beer Money take the team out, Storm secures briefcase #3. Hope he’s not sent back to NXT.

Kurt Angle tells Jeff he has his back tonight. Angle will defend him with his life we imagine.

We see the men and their briefcases before TNA X-Division Champion Tigre Uno vs. DJZ vs. Mandrews. Tigre Uno is able to put together quick moves to keep both opponents guessing. DJZ however is able to get him down with a dropkick. DJZ then focuses on Mandrews, but Mandrews is able to hold his own. When Tigre Uno returns to the ring, he is able to put both men in a submission hold before being sent outside. DJZ tries to pin Mandrews, but finds he is a tough man to beat. DJZ then focuses on Tigre Uno be splashing him, but Mandrews moonsaults them on the outside. He then shows he’s a Dynamic Dude by using his skateboard for a headscissor on DJZ. Once the fight’s back inside the ring, DJZ is able to get Mandrews in the top turnbuckle. After Mandrews throws DJZ outside, Tigre Uno takes advantage to retain the Intercontinental Championship. This brings out Gregory Shane Helms, who talks about the X-Division, and how he’s challenging Tigre Uno to defend next week.

Awesome Kong talks about revenge. Hide Bubba The Love Sponge.

Jesse asks about Drake’s “Beefcase”. Drake is worried about the briefcase, but Jesse is zen about getting Drake to open the Briefcase.

Angle talks about Matt tarnishing his name, which leads to Matt saying he’s building his brand. Angle talks about being the 1st Champion. Who are management burying? We know.

Kong vs. Velvet Sky. Given her use of camoflauge, we think Velvet likes a bully. Kong starts by using power moves while Velvet tries to mount any offense. Kong sends her outside and into the steps. All the while commentary talks about the LOLTNA of last year’s Feast or Fired. Where someone not in the match got the fired briefcase and the man that got the TNA World Tag Team Championship briefcase didn’t return to use it. Anyway, Kong uses a splash and implant buster to win. Madison Rayne stops Kong’s assault, but the Dollhouse are next. Madison is forcibly watching as Velvet is splashed from off the top rope. Good match, even if the angle is ridiculous.

TNA World Tag Team Champions The Wolves talk about Crazzy Steve and Abyss taking their belts after last week.

Jeremy Borash has the sitdown with the briefcase holders. We find out they will reveal after a break.

Beer Money have women talking like them. Good thing they don’t talk like Bram.

We are back with the who has a shot and who gets to go home. A random miracle occurs. Drew gives the balls in her purse. Drake reveals he gets a shot at the Jarrett’s Match belt. We find out the others later.

Now The Wolves are asking for their belts. A random painted women later identified as Rosemary walks out as the manager of Crazzy Steve and Abyss. There is a brawl leading to a match. Davey Richards is able to handle Crazzy Steve, but Abyss manages to get him down. The new team on the show uses innovating offense, like chokeslamming Crazzy Steve onto Davey. Abyss manages to keep Eddie Edwards out of this match. Despite Crazzy Steve grabbing Davey’s leg, he tags in Eddie. Eddie tries for the backpack stunner, but Crazzy Steve stops him. Eddie is able however to get him down. Rosemary distracts the Champions long enough for Abyss to black hole slam Eddie, and Crazzy Steve mists Davey for a DQ. The assault resumes despite this.

A preview of the next case(s) to be opened.

Borash asks Storm to open it. Roode jokingly says he won’t let the Championship get between them. After Beer Money fake out they reveal to no shock they have the Tag Team Championship briefcase. Drew then opens his to reveal a Heavyweight Championship match. Grado is sad for a man that found out he’s free.

Matt vs. Jeff main events. Before the match, Young interrupts, and Bram strikes. Beer Money FINALLY battle out to even things up. Crazzy Steve and Abyss resume the overbooking. Leading to Angle emerging, only to get attacked by Tyrus. This leads to Young and Bram attacking again. Leading to a piledriver onto a table. Boy do we overbook.

This week’s show was good. Though the main event was a bit too overbooked. Obviously EC3 will return over the summer for Slammiversary, or even the fall for Bound for Glory. Well that is all for broadcasting tonight. See you next week.

Sunday, January 24, 2016

Creative Locks: Royal Rumble 2016

Well it's that time of the year. WWE hopes the man that beats the 29 other men is not booed by everyone in the arena, on the internet, or are reviewing the show. And since this years Royal Rumble has a presentation that would make three Ptolemy's proud, we shall dissect the match for you to decide the likely course.

Pre- Show Match For Royal Rumble Spots: The Dudleys vs. Ascension vs. Mark Henry & Jack Swagger vs. Darren Young and Damien Sandow

This match has two tag teams, one put together team that surprisingly were World Heavyweight Champions, and a team of guys that wish they were in 2013. While there is a question why Titus O'Neill is busy invading Stardust's personal space, D'Young had to ask D'Sandow if he wanted to wrestle. He barely had the sentence finished before hearing "Yes". As for who wins, feels too basic to call anything other that The Aces and Eights winning.

Winners: The Dudleys

WWE Diva Championship Match: Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch

Becky has found herself at the heels of Ricki Flair for a while. And we suspect she will have her WrestleMania match. But right now, she has to have a shot to prove the champion is beatable. She will be close to winning, but Flair being the strong advocate of a right to arms, will disrupt the referee during a submission. This will lead to a DQ that makes as much sense as the average WWE film

Winner: Becky Lynch

WWE Tag Team Championship Match: The New Day vs. The Usos

The New Day are on fire lately despite the tragic loss of Francesca. While The Usos may be back, they aren't filled with enough momentum yet to win. Add to this that it is a Rumble defense, and it's obvious the fans want some New Day.

Winners: The New Day

WWE United States Championship Match: Alberto Del Rio vs. Kalisto

Silly WWE thinking they haven't beaten the "wrestlers look good in defeat" horse dead.

Winner: Alberto Del Rio

WWE Intercontinental Championship Last Man Standing Match: Dean Ambrose vs. Kevin Owens

We have two guys that are known for going all out in matches like this. While many wrestlers seem to lose matches they seem to specialize in. This match has DA almost like Rambo in First Blood II. It will be destructive, it will be brutal, and it may be match of the night. In the end, Renee Young gets to wear her belt once again.

Winner: Dean Ambrose

WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match/Royal Rumble Match: Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar vs. 28 Wrestlers

This is the match fans love to hate. While no one knows who is winning, they all agree the two guys looking like gods are Reigns and Lesnar. While there is a chance Lesnar will find gold once again, we see him preparing to either face Reigns later as a challenger, or getting ready to face Bray Wyatt/Sheamus/Owens at WrestleMania Lone Star. And while there is a shot Triple-H puts himself in the Rumble/makes a match right after, tonight sees Reigns emerge the winner.

Winner: Roman Reigns

Well that was fun. We hope to be here assuming the internet meltdown doesn't cause nuclear destruction to affect most places. Have a good evening.

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Impact Review 1/19/2016

Tonight may be about wasting the few months to decide if Matt Hardy or Ethan Carter III is the next TNA World Heavyweight Champion. The real question is how bady.

We see both Matt and EC3 walking to the arena, and a recap of how they got here. A shame this feud went too long.

Jeff Hardy is out in his gear to start the show. Jeff says he has a weird feeling, and wants to tell Matt know how he feels. After Matt emerges, Jeff tells Matt that Matt is the wrestler he is because of his brother, but that tonight is too risky. Matt says he feels like he let everyone down, and that he is at a crossroads. He says he needs to take this gamble, and he will beat EC3. Matt says EC3 leads with ego, which is the reason why he made the challenge. Matt says he hopes to make everyone proud. Jeff says he feels better having had this conversation. Tyrus interrupts and says that their dream may end. Matt may have EC3, but Jeff made it personal. Saying Jeff mocked his intelligence. As a result, Jeff makes a challenge to Tyrus after the break. A strange segment that sets up the action tonight. Still better than RAW.

Tyrus starts by dominating Jeff. Jeff is able to fight his way out of the corner, but slips after a whisper in the wind attempt. Tyrus takes advantage of the injury to stomp on the leg.  Tyrus is DQed after he goes for a weapon. Jeff is able to use a twist of fate to avoid the assault. Jeff won, but you know he’s in need of more surgery.

A package to present Feast or Fired, the match that Magnus decided cashing in wasn’t worth fighting back here. This time the TNA X-Division Championship sits it out.

TNA World Tag Team Champions The Wolves talk about facing Beer Money soon. They get attacked by Crazzy Steve, who looks like Sting’s 2011-2012 look, and Abyss, who’s still around.

TNA Knockout Champion Gail Kim vs. Awesome Kong is next. Both women start by feeling each other out, but Kong quickly dominates. Kong works the neck and back for a good minute before sending Gail outside. After The Dollhose heckle Gail, Kong sends her in and strickes her with hammerfists and chops. When Kong tries a splash, Gail rolls out of the way, and locks in a submission hold into a pin. Kong kicks out and continues her assault in the corner until Gail kicks her and gives her a tornado DDT. Gail goes to fly, but Jade pulls her down. After Gail fights The Dollhouse off, she goes up and splashes them. Back in the ring sees Gail use a neckbreaker. Jade breaks the count, leading to The Beautiful People brawl Marti Bell and Rebel away. A miscommunication by Kong and Jade leaves Jade laid out, and Kong eating defeat.

A recap of what everyone saw a half hour ago leads to no update.

Beer Money are out next to talk about how it took years for them both to re-form their team, and how their back to kick some ass. Eli Drake and Jesse Godderz mock Bram’s 2006, and how they want to beat Beer Money. After James Storm uses a few words from Roddy, Beer Money attack the two challengers before it is made into a tag team match. Storm starts by attacking Jesse. Drake grabs Storms leg, and starts the team assault before tagging in. Drake quickly targets Storm before tagging Jesse back in. Jesse showboats a bit too long, as he is his with a Russian legsweep. Both men on the apron tag in, followed by Bobby Roode using a “BAAAAAAAAACK BODY DROP”! This leads to Beer Money taking on eack opponent one at a time. Roode pins Jesse after Driving While Investing.

We see both Matt and EC3 preparing for their brutal match.

After a second replay, we see Matt and family noticing Jeff’s swollen knee. We need a ZPak joke.

Kurt Angle walks out next, presenting a recap of his match with Drew Galloway. Angle says walking out still feels like it did when he first did. After putting over his match with Drew, Angle says, as Goldberg used to ask, who’s next. When Angle says it’s a tough decision, Bobby Lashley emerges. Lashley says Angle saw something in Lashley over a decade ago, and thanks him for it. Lashley waited for the day when they would have a match. He remembers their match for the gold. Lashley says it haunts him that he lost, and challenges Angle to “One. More. Match”. Angle says that Lashley is dominant, and Angle isn’t sure he would be winning, and that’s why he’s accepting. After this, boy does Lashley sound nuts when he says he’ll beat his ass.

Before an Arnold-like killing of his career, Mike Bennett has a match next.

After Lashley talks about wanting to wrestle Angle, Raquel then talks about pain and shows her ass.

Maria talks about feeling the fans pain, which means she’s getting paid less than them. Anyway, Bennett is wrestling Pepper Parks. After locking up, Bennett corners Parks. After a brief taunt, Bennett gets attacked. This angers him more than finding out he’s signing here, and he starts attacking with strikes. After a bodyslam, Bennett continues the assault before ending the match. Bennett talks about a kingdom with miracles while ripping off the President’s 2009 catchphrase.

We see Bram is in Feast or Fired. If he loses, one of his multi-year deals ends.
EC3 talks about how the Championship is his family, and how Matt will be leaving in an ambulance. He then brings up the pale horse.

Christy Hemme know this main event will be balls to the ring announ… Wall. EC3 vs. Matt starts after Jeremy Borash’s announcement, which Matt interrupts by attacking EC3. Both men brawl to the outside, where EC3 attacks Matt along the rail, runs Matt into the steps, and suplexes Matt on the ramp. EC3 sets up several tables next to each other. Matt re-emerges to attack EC3 and set him up on the tables. EC3 recovers, and fights with Matt. The tables are forgotten for now, so they may factor in later. Matt heads out of the ring going into break. Back from break, Matt rams a ladder into EC3’s face, but EC3 gets up. Matt hits a side effect before getting a table of his own. After Josh Mathews blows the point of Chekov’s tables, EC3 recovers, and puts Matt on the table inside the ring. In what seem like an obvious double turn hint, it is addressed EC3 has fans as he splashes Matt off the ladder. Matt gets up before the count, and when EC3 goes for a TKO, Matt uses a twist of fate. The double turn idea is obvious when Matt uses a low-blow and argues with referee Brian Hebner. After a twist of fate onto the tables, both men fight back up as Matt brings EC3 into the ring. Matt brings in more weapons, and uses a chair for a third twist of fate. As bloods emanates from EC3’s mouth, he manages to get up at 9. Reby hands Matt a hammer, but EC3 uses a low-blow and a 1%er. Tyrus walks down, and attacks EC3. Despite this, EC3 gets up. EC3 avoids Tyrus, attacks Matt, then Tyrus. Matt hits EC3 with the Championship belt. Matt wins after this. A feel good moment at Bound For Glory flushed down the toilet, the toilet backed up, and it was flushed all over again. Oh, and we get a promo after this.

Matt starts talking about how he beat EC3 for himself. Yelling he ended an unpinned streak in a match where he didn’t pin anyone. He says he wanted to give back, but won’t listen to the fans anymore. He adds that he made himself, and has a dream life. He says he is the Champion. He thanked Tyrus, and calls himself Big Money Matt for hopefully the only time. He then gives EC3 a con-chair-to. Reby then spits on EC3. We’d say this place is dead, but it’s died more than Bram has re-signed.

At this point, we’d say that we’re surprised, but really, what is there? A promotion that had all the opportunities wasted them time after time to get rich quick or swerve everyone just to fool them. Boy insanity really is defined by our management. We’ll be here next week.

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Impact Review 1/12/2016

We survived last week, let’s see how this goes.

A recap of the World Title Series making the Bound For Glory main event worthless, and hype for Kurt Angle facing Drew Galloway.

TNA World Heavyweight Champion Ethan Carter III is told by #1 contender to the Heavyweight World Championship of the World Tyrus it is time, EC3 says he’s damn right. After this, the two men walk down to the ring. EC3 says he believed in himself, and Tyrus believed in him. EC3 says he will give Tyrus his shot, but says in in a deflecting manner. He tries to go on, but Jeff Hardy shows up in his gear and rushed facepaint. EC3 asks Jeff why he’s there, and Jeff starts to backhandedly putting over EC3, by saying while he may need to cheat, he did not last week. EC3 is a bit confused by this, to which Jeff starts talking about how EC3 put him through hell before presenting a note stating he can return to action. As a result, he is challenging EC3 to a match. EC3 starts talking about wanting to face Jeff, but denies the request. EC3 then says if Jeff wants a shot, he has to start at the back of the line. EC3 presents a random masked wrestler. EC3 sings along with the music of this wrestler, known as “The Master of Motion” Shinron. EC3 and Tyrus go to the table, and the match begins. The two men grapple for a bit before Sinron shows off. Jeff sents him outside, and the fans yell for Jeff. As Jeff sends Shinron inside, the masked wrestler briefly mounts offense. Jeff however maintains the advantage before winning using a twist of fate. Good for what it was: A match designed to hide Jeff’s injury.

The Dollhouse speaks about running the division. Awesome Kong in a group designed to look like Barbie Dolls is as stupid as putting Steve Austin with Vince.

The Beautiful People and The Dollhouse brawl to the outside. Velvet Sky and Jade brawl on the ramp while Madison Rayne and Kong fight inside. Jade throws weapons inside as fans demand to see Angle. Jade tries for a rolling cannonball, but Madison rolls out of the way. Every time they set up Madison up, Jade does not connect. Velvet rolls in and battles with Jade, sending her outside. Velvet and Madison use kendo sticks to attack Marti Bell and Kong before Madison uses a dropkick to get two. Ultimately, the numbers win as Jade uses a package piledriver. A fun brawl, but tough to keep track of.

Raquel Welch is not coming here.

TNA Reverse Ladder Match Champion Bobby Roode and James “My In With NXT Was Billy Gunn” Storm get ready to get drunk. No, they’re not booking. Storm says he had to make the decision to return. Roode says what split them was something that brought them together: A desire to be the best. They then drink each time they apologize for things both men did to each other. They toast to the team. They next say something’s missing, they remember they need to get loud, prompting Eric Young and Bram interrupt. After Storm and Young exchange gay jokes before Young challenges Roode for his Championship. The match is next.

After a brief feeling out, Young shows off. He however is hit with several armdrags, which Roode follows up with by working on the arm. Young’s rally is cut off with more attacking the arm. Storm and Bram stare at each other. Careful Bram, Storm doesn't phone-call the police. Young starts to attack as Josh Mathews tries to act like Bram’s promo botch was intentional. Roode brings an assault, including a “BAAAAAAAAAAAAACK BODY DROP”! Roode goes for a Roodebomb, but Young reverses into a belly-to-belly. Young goes for a piledriver, but Roode gets out, and locks in a sharpshooter, a crossface, and a spinebuster. After these moves of doom, Roode hits the Roodebomb, but Bram pulls the referee out. They attack Bram, but a low-blow into a piledriver secures the gold for a new Champion.

Mr. Anderson seems to be a heel when he says Matt Hardy choked. He’s interviewing him next.

EC3 heard the miraculous words, and said they’re just words.

A recap of the main event of BFG, and the re-use of mystery tapings leads to Mr. Anderson hosting his show, simply known as “Huh”. We get paid low six-figures to write that. Mr. Anderson welcomes Matt, and his family. Mr. Anderson dives Matt a chair to sit on, likely as in the weapon he feels helped Matt become Champion. As Mr. Anderson asks Matt how it felt to be Champion, only to lose it, have the chance to get it back, and choked. Matt says he dominated the series, and that Young is the reason he lost. Matt says you fail when you quit, and he will become Champion again. Mr. Anderson asks if Jeff is doing Matt’s dirty work, to which Matt says he has EC3’s number. Matt and family begin leaving before Mr. Anderson says Matt has to go. This segment better die.

Drew Galloway tells Christy Hemme he started to wrestle at 15, and always wanted to face Angle. Drew adds the match will be a spectacle. He says both men need to win to prove they’re the best. Not a bad promo.

A recap of Young’s win leads to he and Bram saying they’ll destroy Beer Money
TNA World Tag Team Champions The Wolves and TNA X-Division Champion Tigre Uno vs. Eli Drake, DJZ, and Jesse Godderz. Fun fact: The tag belts were Dave Milican’s idea for a new Intercontinental Championship belt, and the X-Division belt is a ripoff of the previous design. Tigre Uno takes advantage of DJZ while DJZ’s partners don’t want in. When Jesse does tag in, The Wolves team up with Tigre Uno to rally. Drake however is able to help Jesse, until he tags in. Drake uses several strikes on Eddie Edwards before tagging in Jesse. Jesse uses knees in the corner before tagging Drke back in. Eli hits a float-over suplex to get two. Jesse and Drake team up to hit several power moves on Eddie, but eventually, Davey Richards tags in. Davey is able to use quick offense before using a double Indian Deathlock on Jesse and DJZ. After everyone is in the ring to brawl, Davey tags in Eddie, and Drake tags in Jesse. After DJZ accidentally hits Jesse, The Wolves capitalize to win.

Jeff believes in Matt.

EC3 wants to know what Matt has to offer. Matt says he earned what he has, while EC3 had everything handed to him. Matt then offers to put his career on the line. If Matt wins, it certainly makes last week worthless, so be ready. EC3 says he does not respect Matt because he’s won several times already, but says this better be the last time. EC3 wants to face Matt in a last man standing match.

Drew faces Angle in the main event. Both men tie up early on. Drew is able to use his power advantage, but Angle uses a “BAAAAAAAAAAAAACK BODY DROP”! and German suplex. After a yay/boo, but men are down going into break. Back from break, Drew chops away at Angle, and corners him with punches. Drew talks to the air to knock down Angle. William Gardner sadly won tickets. Angle hits an Angle Slam for two before locking in an anklelock. Drew rolls out, and sends Angle into the corner. Drew kicks out of a schoolboy, and hits a futureshock to get two. Drew next counters an anklelock to a crossface. Angle reverses into a second anklelock. Drew rolls out, sending Angle outside. When Drew goes to fight, Angle suplexes him into the rail. Angle gets him inside, but Drew hits the claymore, but only gets two. Drew hits a second time, but Angle brings his shoulder up. Drew puts Angle up top for a superplex, but Angle punches away. Drew is able to deliver. A second time, both men yay/boo. Leading to Drew selling a hurt leg for a run into the post, Angle hits an Angle Slam, but Drew kicks out. Drew headbutts Angle, and goes up top. Angle gives us a second straight finisher off the top to win. A great match to start Angle’s retirement run.

A great second week. We feel that big shows are coming, but is it too late to turn a corner? Only time will tell.

Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Impact Review 1/5/2006 Ok, 1/5/2015 Ok,1/5/2016

We survived another year, this time we have someone stupid enough to pay us again.

We see profiles of Matt Hardy, Ethan Carter III, Bobby Lashley, an Eric Young. Mainly Matt and EC3. Wonder who’s fighting to be TNA World Heavyweight Champion. Oh hey, Billy did the song we muted.

Dixie says we had actually chosen PopTV. Hahahahahaha. It’s like choosing to breath to not die. She talks about the TNA Championship, which leads to EC3 saying “we’re live pal”, and having a Festivus airing of grievances. He makes the points that Dixie doesn’t want him to be Champion, and he will be winning. Dixie says EC3 robbed Matt, which leads to Matt. Matt says that EC3 robbed the fans, and that Matt will be the winner. Young jumps Matt. Finally, some action. We thought this was still the Days of our Lives rerun. EC3, Young, and Tyrus beat Matt until Lashley makes the save. Then Matt brawls with Young while EC3 and Tyrus fight Lashley going into break. Oh look, Michael Ian Black is still alive, and Robert DeNiro’s career is barely. Back from break, Lashley vs. EC3.

Lashley starts with power while wearing a headband. He then spears EC3 out of the ring. Tyrus prevents Lashley from bringing EC3 back in. EC3 then keeps himself out of the ring to regroup. Once back in, EC3 is able to send Lashley out for Tyrus to funk him up. Josh Mathews makes a bad segue to Eugene Levy’s Living Hell on PopTV. As EC3 beats on Lashley, we hear he doesn’t get ready, he stays ready. Wait until he teams with Robbie E. Lashley uses a strength advantage to deliver his spinebuster, but EC3 quickly resumes his assault. After Lashley kicks out of a TKO, he running powerslams EC3. He tries again, but Tyrus gets on the apron. Lashley knocks him down, but EC3 uses a roll-up with tights to advance.

Going into the break, we see Kurt Angle ready to announce WWE may not be interested.

A Miracle? Who is disappointing tonight.

TNA Whatever It Is This Week Champion. Bobby Roode has issued a challenge to anyone from anywhere. Surely he has Cena running.

Angle says he’s been blessed to have won Olympic and professional gold, and he couldn’t have done it without the fans. He is honored every time he walks through to the ring. He says he’s having a retirement tour, and says the wrestlers he faced, and the guys he will face. Starting with Drew Galloway. Drew walks out and says the kid in him likes the frosting of Angle, while the adult in him likes the wheat of Angle. Drew goes to speak more, but Jesse Godderz interrupts, but interruptception has Eli Drake belittling him. Drake talks trash about Jesse, TNA World Tag Team Champions The Wolves, and Drew. Angle brings the interruption to an end by challenging Jesse and Drake. A brawl between all four men breaks out. Leading to Angle with an ankle lock on Jesse while Drew claymores Drake.

Jeff Hardy Painted His face in order to tell Jeremy Borash Matt’s ok. This happened.

Young in the ring says that Matt won’t be here. Matt emerges and gives a “BAAAAAAAAAAAACK BODY DROP”! Once in the ring, Matt dominates, leading to a Flair flop by Young. Once Young gets on offense, he targets the neck, and brings Matt outside. Young delivers a back suplex on the steps before bringing Matt back inside, he continues to attack the neck. Matt starts to build back up to a yay/boo. Matt then uses a series of elbows before hitting a bulldog. Matt rallies and tries for a twist of fate, but Young sends them both outside. After the big piledriver on the outside by Young, Matt is promptly checked by Jeff, but Young attacks him as well. Young brings Matt back into the ring, and attempts to fly, but Matt hits a twist of fate to win. A true surprise that Matt and EC3 will be wrestling tonight.

Someone is walking around the back. Whoever it is likely tried everywhere else.

We see Young pissed, and EC3 taunting Jeff. Jeff says Matt will be the new Champion.

Roode next emerges to find out who he’ll face in his U.S. Open Challenge. It will be Bram. After the initial brawl between Bram and what year it is, Roode finds Bram is a challenge. Roode uses a clothesline to drop Bram like domestic abuse charges. Roode tries for a Roode bomb, but Bram reverses. After a few power moves, Bram uses a spinning heel kick. Roode amazingly kicks out. Josh thinks it’s 2015. After a struggle, Roode wins, Beer Money’s theme starts early, Young attacks, Bram helps, and James Storm shows the worst case of Stockholm syndrome since Patty Hearst. Storm says he left six months ago, thereby ruining the kayfabe of the last three. Beer Money reunites in a segment that Maffew’s editing right now.

The Beautiful People don’t bring up why there’s now only three in The Dollhouse after Taryn Terrell escaped, or how in kayfabe, Angelina Love wrestled pregnant. F---ing Billy.

Storm hilariously says someone else made a horrible mistake.

The Dollhouse walk out even more like a porn movie than ever. Velvet Sky and Madison Rayne have TNA Knockout Champion Gail Kim with them. Gail and Jade exchange hits before Velvet tags in. Marti Belle finds Velvet and Madison a tough team to handle. Rebel tags in, and uses a hairpull, but can’t stay on offense. Now Gail and Jade brawl, then a hit all your finishers spot. After a few near pins, Gail pins Jade. The brawl continues until Awesome Kong randomly turns. She leads the Dollhouse. Boy this Miracle guy better be worth it.

Maria brings out Mike Bennett. She talks like Bo Dallas, he dresses like Armando Alejandro Estrada. Bennett talks himself in a promo where he says he will be Champion. Great promo, but he really chose quite the place to deliver it.

Matt talks to his family. He says he will be Champion again. There will be no interference.

Drew tells Angle he appreciates the shot. The Wolves, then Jesse and Drake challenge them. Angle vs. Davey. Scary idea.

Matt vs. EC3 is the main event tonight. Jeff says he believes in Matt enough to leave. He asks Tyrus if he feels the same way. The #1 contender to face the Heavyweight World Champion of the World agrees. We get a preview of what happens to SCTV stars when they don’t invest. The match starts with a brawl. Matt sends EC3 outside. Matt brawls with EC3 over to the commentary table. Sadly, announcers still talking. Both men return to the ring, where they exchange chops. EC3 then takes the momentum with several moves, including kicking Matt’s head against the ringpost. Matt is able to battle out, and moonsault EC3. After EC3 reverse a twist of fate, Matt uses three side effects. EC3 reverses to a TKO. EC3 goes for it again, but Matt hits a twist of fate. EC3 rolls on his stomach. EC3 hits the 1%er. Matt kicks out. EC3 waits for Matt, and gets twist of fate. A kick out. Matt goes for a twist of fate off the top, but EC3 reverses for a super 1%er to regain the Championship. And you thought WWE made a World Heavyweight Championship match worthless.

Not a bad night, but far from great. Billy booking like his name is Russo. While there is a chance things will get better, as commentary suggests, we’re in the past. See you next week.

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Impact Review 12/17/2015

Looks like the network does not like us, so this break from matches to decide a new TNA World Heavyweight Champion will be the last time wrestling is on here until we get the show Ultimate Surrender starring Bigfoot.

A brief look at Matt Hardy, Eric Young, Bobby Lashley, and Ethan Carter III.

First, Matt goes over his recent success in TNA. We really want his chair. There is a recap of his group match with TNA World Tag Team Champion Davey Richards. If you want the full review, check it out on the site. We’ll say it was a good match. Matt wins, then he explains he knew TNA BRB Champion Bobby Roode would be quite a challenge. He also puts over Jesse Godderz, and says he will beat Young.

Crimson, Eli Drake, Micah, and Jesse vs. DJZ, TNA X-Division Champion Tigre Uno, Mandrews, and Manik. Finally a new match. DJZ and Drake almost start, but Micah tags in. Micah’s power is countered early on, leading to a tag to Jesse. Jesse is able to dominate Mandrews briefly before Mandrews emerges on top. Manik tags in to uses quick maneuvers before Tigre Uno makes sure all the guys on his team have been in the ring. No “____ will be upset he wasn’t tagged into the match”. We see a 3-on2 suplex by DJZ, and Mandrews, and Manik on Jesse and Micah. Haku’s not happy. Someone will be missed. Oh hey, the early years are on YouTube. Like WWE, we advertise better days. Well anyway, Jesse’s posing leads to a Manik dropkick before he flies out and takes everyone out. When Mandrews attempts to fly, Drake attacks him. Drake also tags himself into the match and beats up Mandrews. Drake’s partners are not happy that he only wants in when an opponent is down. Eventually, it results in Tigre Uno dropkicking him. Josh Mathews calling Drake a jerk is hilarious for reasons he will complain about. As Drake’s partners leave the ring, he gets his with everyone else’s finishers. Mandrews gets the pin. He finally won a match in this series.

Lashley vs. TNA Ghost Austin Aries from November 25th. We actually missed reviewing this, so it’s new to us. A feeling out between them leads to Lashley having to reverse out of a chinlock. Again it is assumed that because his group is called Group Champions, that it’s some sort of loophole. Lashley shoulder tackles Aries in the corner. Again Lashley uses power, including a delayed vertical suplex going into break. We got Pop TV’s ad on the air. Suck on that Destination America. Back from break, Lashley’s power again rages over Aries. Despite this, Aries is able to use a few quick moves to set Lashley up for a dropkick. Lashley battles back with a running powerslam to get two. We cut to Aries trying to fly, but Lashley rolls out of the way like everyone else would try. Lashley gets Aries back into the ring to end it, but Aries is as limp as Gaburick before Viagra. When Aires gets back up, Lashley goes for a spear, but Aries uses Last Chancery with 1:00 left. Lashley makes it to the ropes, so Aries tries a 450, but Lashley gets out of the way, and hits the spear to get into the tournament. Then there is talk about Lashley’s abilities.

EC3 talks about having many homes before we see him hitting the gym. He says this is because of a loss that should never have happened. He’s been undefeatable for two big years. He shows that WWE should’ve pushed a similar looking guy. He says he worked to get here.

Rockstar Spud vs. TNA World Tag Team Champion Eddie Edwards vs. Roode vs. Mr. Anderson. Spud and Roode start the match. Hey, remember when Roode beat up Spud? Roode uses his strength and a bit of hair to lock in a chinlock. Spud is able to get out, resulting in Roode tagging in Edwards going into break. Back from break, Spud tries to roll-up Edwards, leading to a brawl by Edwards, and a jump out to Roode. Mr. Anderson staring at Spud doing an impression, laughing psychotically, then attacking. Seems like he’s discovered coke. Spud is able to take out the other three, but Edwards is able to get a pin to eliminate Spud. Roode and Mr. Anderson go for a team attack on Edwards, but Edwards utilizes their inexperience. Roode kicks out of a backpack stunner, which we find out is known as Chin Checker. Roode and Mr. Anderson again divided, though Mr. Anderson hits a mic check to eliminate Edwards. After exchanging moves, Roode uses a spinebuster to gain momentum. When Roode goes to fly, he’s caught by Mr. Anderson, who gets two. When Mr. Anderson goes for a mic check, which leads to a series of reversals before Roode gets a submission win. Mr. Anderson was incapable to win in this series.

Kurt Angle talks about these four wrestlers earned their way, and they will be the “Undisputed Wrestling Champion”. He says Young has a shot, Lashley’s the favorite, asks if Matt can keep momentum, and that EC3 may not be defeatable.

A look at Young shows him doing such dangerous things as a piledriver. Young talks about doing what he can to be Champion again, and how Roode stole gold from him. He says he warned TNA Ghost and NXT wrestler James Storm. This leads to a re-airing of Young vs. Roode from November 4th. Again, you can read our review. Young wins. Young talks about TNA Ghost Kenny King being good, but not better than him, he says Tigre Uno is a Champion, but so was Young.

EC3 vs. Mr. Anderson from November 11th. Once more, we reviewed the whole show. EC3 wins. EC3 talks about his training, and will show off his home. Shots of him hanging around the pool and berating the cleaner. He says he beat DJZ, Davey, and how he will beat Lashley one more time. There is a strong implication the finals will be Matt vs. EC3 as he drinks instead of saying his name.

A roundtable of the remaining four starts with Lashley saying he’ll beat up EC3 and Tyrus. He adds he has no plan, but wants to know if EC3 will be willing to fight on his own. EC3 feels like he shouldn’t have to wrestle him again, and that he outsmarted Lashley. Matt says EC3 thinks he has integrity, and again sends the message what’s next. Young says Matt came from an easier group, and that he will prove he is superior. He adds that he’s won every TNA Championship. Not the KO Championship yet. Matt says he has not been defeated here. He says he hopes to face Lashley, but my likely face EC3 because of Tyrus. EC3 says they are free to buy a guard. Matt says he has integrity. Lashley says he wants to face Matt, and that Matt has the edge against Young. EC3 says he thinks he’ll face Young. Though the hesitation before taking a drink again says what he really expects. Young says Mayy won’t advance. No s---. If he does, you’re out. Young keeps yelling while Matt says to give it a shot. EC3 is laughing at the explosion while Matt keeps firing back.

The show ends with an ad for a best of 2015. Assuming that airs.

This week’s broadcast was slow. The obvious reason is there is a holding pattern until 2016. Assuming there is a show next week, it will be reviewed. If not, see you next year.