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Saturday, July 25, 2015

Bad PPV Summer Bash at the Beach 2000

This is the finale of WCW Month of Bad PPV Summer. For this, we go with the last Bash at the Beach. We are deep in the booking of Vince Russo. Get yourself something strong, this will be a while.

WCW Commissioner Earnest “The Cat” Miller emerges from a limousine. He says The Filthy Animals and the Misfits in Action are barred from ringside during the WCW Cruiserweight Championship match. He’s then attacked by the Jung Dragons. Apart from Jamie Noble being a part of this group, best we go to the next part.

The credits, which look more like a softcore porn film show us that Hulk Hogan is not completely scrubbed from history. He faces WCW World Heavyweight Champion Jeff Jarrett for the Belt. This will be a match remembered for a long time. In other action, Kevin Nash faces Goldberg, who turned heel for “The shocks”, in a match for Scott Hall’s WCW contract. Chris Master’s finishing move sponsors this whole event. Tony Schivone welcomes fans, and says thy are locked in for 3 hours. Guess that’s how fans will watch a WCW 2000 show.

WCW Cruiserweight Champion Lt. “Chavo” Loco vs. Juventud Guerrera. Juventud walks out wearing the belt despite not being Champion. Not a bad idea, one of the few in this time. Konnan cuts a promo, we think. He says something about Juventud hving gold, and winning tag team gold next. Loco is led down by Major Gunns, Sgt. “Didn’t get the joke behind Private” Stash, and General Rection. So four boobs, Cpl. Cajun, and Chavo. After both groups say good luck, the match begins. Loco starts by punching away, but Juventud starts with flying around, his offense is short-lived, and he’s sent outside the ring. Juventud goes up the ramp to get a breather. After faking out several times, Juventud enters the ring when Loco goes after him. After trying to bring Loco in, Juventud is reversed and sent outside. Loco then jumps after him. Loco gets Juventud back in, but after showboating, Juventud reverses by sending him into the turnbuckle. After a 10-punch by Juventud, Loco reverses momentum, and brings Juventud down with an armlock. He then uses a headscissor and powerslam for two. He then chops Juventud before trying to Irish whip him. After a double clothesline, both men are down. Both men get up before a thrilling sequence leads to Loco going over the top on Juventud, who is on the outside. Juventud’s group, the Filthy Animals wear masks to try and interfere and there’s a nearfall. Sadly not the mask many want Rey Mysterio Jr. to wear. After this, a brief brawl outside between the two men gets back inside. Where Juventud shines with high-flying offense. When Juventud goes for the People’s Elbow, the MIA emerge wearing masks. Mainly to distract so Major Gunns will distract the referees. This only gets a nearfall. DeMott makes Republicans feel bad for Bill Clinton given his mask. After some nearfalls, Loco retains after a tornado DDT. Great match. Non-sensical interference.

In Cat’s office, he congratulates the Jung Dragons for Thunder. Jarrett, wearing a non-Crumrine Big Gold and interacting with an opera lady, wants to know where Hogan is. He’ll find out soon enough. Tony asks about the storyline. We know what’s next.

WCW Hardcore Champion Big Vito vs. A mystery opponent. We see a recap of Thunder. Hey, it’s on Wednesday. So… Are… We. Vito used the fake ECW Championship to beat up Terry Funk. Somehow, he’s still alive. Vito talks about facing a mystery opponent. Norman Smiley w/Ralphus emerges. Vito says he can face both of them. Vito starts by beating Ralphus with a kendo stick, he then brawls with Smiley along the entranceway before handing the belt to the referee. Once backstage, Smiley uses multiple weapons to show why he is a World Heavyweight Champion in backyard wrestling. Ralphus returns, and hits Vito with a trashcan. After this, Smiley rides Vito. No wonder Vito will wear a dress. After throwing Vito into a dumpster, Smiley directs Ralphus to hit Vito. After this, Vito starts hitting Smiley with a trashcan lid before they brawl in an elevator. After the elevator door closes on Smiley, Vito turns his attack to Ralphus. Bringing him to the ring before stomping on him, and using a kendo stick to bash a trashcan lid laid on Ralphus. Vito puts him on a table, and splashes him for a win while Smiley walks down. Good for what it was, but typical hardcore match for the time.

A shot of Goldberg with Hall’s contract leads to Mean Gene Okerlund asking Nash about his match tonight. Nash says it’s no secret he hasn’t been himself, then starts swearing a few times. He basically says he intends to win. Gene introduces a video for the next match.

Daffney vs. Miss Hancock in a wedding gown match. Boy Stacy Keibler’s gimmick really is hot lady. To think that in Storyline that David Flair’s been with them both. First Hancock emerges with David walking with her. We’d say greatness skipped a generation in Ric Flair’s family, but his 14-year old daughter is quite an athlete. Someone needs to see if they can get her into wrestling. David and Hancock kiss before Daffney emerges. We are really sorry with what our management will do to her. She low-blows David before brawling with Hancock. David helps Hancock, who then hits an elbow in the corner. Shaking her ass however gives Daffney the strength to take her down, and try to smash her in cake. Suddenly, Daffney and Hancock beat up David and referee Slick Johnson respectfully. They pants both of them. And yes, Johnson tucks his shirt in his underwear. Both women are clothed when David hands Hancock a trimmer to shave Daffney’s head. Crowbar makes the save, and takes his pants off. After assaulting David, he chokes him with his pants. Daffney goes to shave David’s head, but Hancock strips to give Daffney the win. Instead of shaving him, Daffney shoves Hancock in cake before the brawl sees them all covered in it. Whatever this was, it was ridiculous.

Cat walks around backstage before we see the Jung Dragons follow him around. Then the commentators talk about if Hogan will be at the event. Russo, we know what you’re doing. All while people clean up cake. They talk about how this event saw Hogan both debut in 1994, and form the nWo in 1996. Don’t you dare Russo.

WCW World Tag Team Champions The Perfect Event (Shawn Stasiak and Chuck Palumbo) vs. Kronic (Bryan Adams and Bryan Clarke) Palumbo and Adams start this one with a tie-up. Eventually, Adams sends both members of The Perfect Event out. Outside, the two men argue with each other, and fans, before entering. Clarke gives Palumbo the finger before a tie-up with Stasiak. After an attempt to go off the top, Stasiak is send crashing to the mat like meat. Adams tags in and boots him. This results in Palumbo tagging in, and is whooped until Stasiak tags back in. After Adams is sloppily sent out of the ring, The Perfect Event crush him. Stasiak goes for a pin, but only gets two. Stasiak tags in Palumbo for a double team move. Adams is in a sleeper hold, which causes fans to rally for Adams. Stasiak tags in, and starts hammering with forearms. Another sleeper hold, this time by Stasiak. Adams fights out, and both men double forehead. Both teams tag in the fresh man. Clarke wears down Palumbo while Adams takes care of Stasiak. Clarke tries to finish it, but Palumbo counters, and tags in Stasiak. After a quick brawl inside, and outside, Stasiak attempts to be the winner, but only two. As The Perfect Event use a team assault, Adams recovers, and after sending Palumbo out, he F5’s Stasiak. Some more team-up moves occur before Kronic overcomes Stasiak’s Lex-Flexer. After a Kronic powerbomb tope rope clothesline combo, Kronic win the belts. Not a bad match, but no one clicked.

Cat again is being followed by the Jung Dragons. And Jarrett wants Hogan. This is Russo. We just know it. The Jung Dragons attack Cat.

Positively Kanyon vs. Booker T. Much like Stasiak trying to be Curt Hennig, Kanyon is trying to be Diamond Dallas Page. Again, Russo. Booker is currently the most popular wrestler not to be WCW Champion. As the fans go “Booker T”! The match begins with a tie-up, but Booker uses a kick to send Kanyon both out of his hair, and the ring. Once Kanyon returns to the ring, he uses several rights to stumble Booker. Though Booker uses his agility to regain momentum. Booker rips the DDP shirt off of Kanyon, and opens up Kanyon’s Book of Truth to reveal a brick. After this, Booker brawls with Kanyon outside the ring. After sending him back in, Booker hits a clothesline off the top. After taking a break, Booker is sent outside by Kanyon, who sends him into the railing and steps. Kanyon comes off the apron, smashing a chair into the steps that are on Booker. Kanyon stretches Booker along the ringpost, and dropkicks him. When Booker goes to get in the ring, Kanyon uses the ropes for a suplex, but only gets two. Frustrated, Kanyon grabs a chair, and wedges it in the corner. Booker is able to use this time to rally, and goes to send Kanyon into the chair, but Kanyon is able to Alabama slam Booker for only two. Kanyon uses a reverse Boston crab, but Booker powers out, after a see-saw pin, Booker hits a clothesline, sends Kanyon into the chair, and spinebusters him. When the referee takes the chair from Booker, Kanyon hits Booker with the book. However, it has no brick. Booker spinaroonies up, and uses a scissor kick before hitting a Book end. Only two. Booker goes to hit a top rope move, but Jarrett breaks guitar 2,000. Kanyon hits a Kanyon cutter to end the match. A fun match, and the finish sets up later tonight.

Paula Poundst… Paulshock interviews Mike Awesome, who was hitting on Jarrett’s singing lady. We think he talks about his match.

WCW United States Champion Scott Steiner w/ Midajah vs. Awesome is up next. No one says this, but the Steiner recliner has been storyline banned. Steiner starts by brawling with Awesome through the stands. Awesome uses a plastic trashcan to regain momentum. After they return to the ringside, Steiner uses a chair and steps. The match returns to the ring, where Steiner clotheslines Awesome. Awesome regains composure with a kick, but an attempt to go off the top results in a belly-to-belly superplex. Steiner then goes to suplex Awesome, but Awesome reverses and sends Steiner outside. Steiner is sent into the rail by Awesome, who then uses a ring bell on Steiner. As Awesome sends Steiner into the apron and rail, he follows up by slingshotting Steiner in the ring. Awesome hits a clothesline off the top as Cat walks down. Steiner manages to reverse a suplex, and follows up with a belly-to-belly suplex. When Steiner goes for the Steiner recliner, Cat stops him, but gets beat up. Awesome takes advantage with an Alabama slam, and a splash off the top. When Awesome goes for an Awesomebomb, Steiner gets out. After a ref bump, Steiner avoids a kick by Cat, and uses a Steiner recliner in front of Cat, and as a result, is DQ’ed. Cat strips Steiner of the belt. Steiner attacks Cat, and T-bone suplexes Awesome. Decent match, but overbooked to death.

Still talking about Hogan not being there. Not a good sign.

The Damon w/Aysa vs. Vampiro in a graveyard match. Asya may have a future as a porn version of Chyna. Demon looks for Vampiro. This is like an Undertaker segment, if it sucked. Demon finds Vampiro, and they brawl in mostly darkness, we think about how bad it was not to put any lights up. Demon throws Vampiro in a grave, but Vampiro drags him in before crawling out. Vampiro then goes after Asya, when Demon crawls out and follows. They bring up how to win, one has to get to the arena. As both men now fight in a river, we see Vampiro go after Asya again. The referee gets Demon out of the water, then another pursuit begins. Demon sees Asya next to a casket. When he goes to check, Vampiro spits water on him, hits him with a tombstone, as in an actual grave marker, puts him in the casket, dumps it in a grave, then throws a torch on it. Somehow, Vampiro wins. To say that was a match is like saying Jenna vs. Sharmell is a match. We’ll leave it at that.

Gene interviews Shane Douglas, future Target Manager, about his match with Buff Bagwell, future prostitute. Gene says tonight will prove if Douglas carried Bagwell in their Tag Championship reign. Douglas says that he’s made few guarantees, and he guarantees he will win.

A contest to be Goldberg’s guest manager. We will be like Paul Heyman compared to the management WCW offers. One has to show they ordered the event. Few will enter, few will win.

Douglas vs. Bagwell is the next match. After Bagwell chooses to lead chants of “Franchise sucks”, Douglas pushes him. Then Bagwell sends him outside. Bagwell kicks Douglas, and sends him into the rail. Douglas is able to take over, and peel the mat off the arena floor for a piledriver outside. Bagwell reverses into a back body drop. Bagwell gets him back in the ring. After a swinging neckbreaker, Bagwell taunts. Douglas brings him outside, and sends him crotch first into the post. Douglas then uses a chair to keep Bagwell beaten. After a brief camel clutch, which is what a Steiner recliner is, Douglas brings him back inside. Douglas wears Bagwell down. Torrie Wilson walks down to distract, and slap, Douglas. Bagwell gets two. Torrie stands on the apron to distract Bagwell. She predictably low-blows him. Only two. Bagwell gets a pin, but two. When Bagwell pushes Torrie down, Douglas uses the distraction to hit the Franchiser to be the winner. Boy this overbooking is getting bad the further this event goes.

Hogan is walking around the arena as Gene interviews Jarrett, with the fake Big Gold. Gene says he knew Hogan would be there. Jarrett talks about Hogan making enemies. Gene asks what that means. He’s still in kayfabe mode.

A video for Hogan vs. Jarrett that lasts longer than what we think the match will last. We see a drunk buxom woman during Michael Buffer’s intro. Jarrett’s music plays, but he doesn’t walk out. Instead, Russo walks out with a baseball bat. Jarrett, in Bono mode, finally walks out with his casting of the Belt. Hogan is next out. A sign says “Hogan and Outsiders made WCW”. They also kill it. Russo stares at Hogan. Hogan says he chooses to powerbomb Jarrett for Nash. Jarrett slowly gets in the ring. When the bell rings, Jarrett lays down. Hogan stares at him while Russo throws the fake Belt in the ring. Hogan asks for a microphone as Russo leaves. "Thats why this company is in the condition it is because of s--- like this" Hogan says as he pins Jarrett. Jarrett then gets up and walks away. Tony tries to talk about this as a shoot, though with Russo, everyone knows it’s Russo.

Vampiro walks by Hogan and a kid holding Big Faux. He then walks out to finish his match from earlier. After saying that the cycle is complete, he says he killed Demon, and destroyed Sting. No goof, that’s our and WWE’s job. Fans want Sting. Which causes Druids. Well they needed something to do now that The Undertaker is a biker. The citizens of Druidia reveal a man with a Sting mask in the casket. He beats up Vampiro, and puts him in the casket. Well that was different.

Gene and Goldberg talk about the match tonight. Goldberg is apparently pissed at Nash, and will rip up the contract after he wins. Decent promo.

Russo’s out now to deliver the biggest screw-up of plans until “Wildcard Bitches”! And here is what he said.

“Three weeks ago I left WCW. Three weeks ago I left WCW and quite frankly, I didn’t know if I was gonna come back. And the reason I didn’t know if I was gonna come back or not is because from day one that I’ve been in WCW, I’ve done nothing, nothing, but deal with the bulls--- of the politics behind that curtain. The fact of the matter is I’ve got a wife, I’ve got three kids at home and frankly the fact of the matter is I don’t need this s---. But let me tell you the reason why I did come back. I came back for every one of the guys in this locker room that week in and week out busts their ass for WCW. I came back for the Booker Ts. I came back for every single guy in MIA. I came back for the Animals, I came back for Jarrett. I came back for the guys behind that curtain who give a s--- about this company. And let me tell you who doesn’t give a s--- about this company that god-d---ed politician Hulk Hogan. Because let me tell you people what happened out here in this ring tonight. All day long I’m playing politics with Hulk Hogan because Hulk Hogan tonight wants to play his creative control card and to Hulk Hogan that meant that tonight in the middle of this ring when he knew it was bulls--- he beats Jeff Jarrett. Well guess what- Hogan got his wish, Hogan got his belt and he went the hell home. And I promise everybody else or else I’ll go in the god-d--- grave you will never see that piece of s--- again!

But I also, I sat in the people just like you and I know you paid good money to be here tonight and nobody is gonna be ripped off here tonight. So Hulk Hogan now has the WCW belt. And Hulk let’s refer to it as the Hulk Hogan memorial belt cause from here on in that belt don’t mean s---! Because there will be a new WCW belt and as far I’m concerned that belt still belongs to the one guy that busts his ass week in and week out in the middle of this ring and you people can love him and hate him and he don’t screw anybody back there and that’s Jeff Jarrett! Now hold on a minute- Jeff Jarrett is still the official WCW champion but he will defend in this ring tonight. And he will defend that title against the son of a bitch back there who for fourteen years has been busting his ass for WCW and can’t get a god-d--- break because of the Hulk Hogans and I’m talking about Booker T. Booker T and Jeff Jarrett are the two reasons why I’m in this damn stinkin’ business to begin with! So tonight in this ring for the WCW Title two deserving guys Jarrett and Booker will compete for the WCW belt and they’ll tear this god-d---ed house down! And Hogan you big bald son of a bitch- KISS MY ASS!”

It will be that promo that will cause Hogan to be erased from one promotion’s history. The original plan was that Russo would do a similar promo, causing Hogan to take time off until challenging the new WCW Champion. However, after this promo, he will go on to sue Russo. Mainly because the man said he’s bald. Big shock. Regardless, we have a new WCW Championship match later tonight.

Goldberg vs. Nash has to follow that trainwreck. After the video of the dumbest turn in WCW, if not wrestling, and Goldberg eating that contract, and showing the first reason some streaks get ruined, Nash walks by Steiner, and they briefly talk about Scott Hall. More shots of drunk women before Nash walks out. We see a fan in a red hat yelling. He looks so strange, he should work here. Goldberg puts the contract on the commentary table. Nash picks it up, but puts it back down. Not even the strange part. A sign says “Goldberg’s the real ‘Game’”. Now you know why he’ll be buried. After Goldberg uses strikes, Nash takes things his way. Goldberg gets out of Nash’s choke, and gets two. Goldberg then uses punches and a mule kick. Nash however chokeslams him. Steiner and Midajah walk down. Swerve awaiting. Nash uses a boot to the face to bring himself in this. Goldberg misses a spear. Swerve in 3, 2, 1. After Nash sets up Goldberg for the jackknife, Steiner tries to stop him. Nash fights him off, but is speared and jackhammered to fix the finish of Starrcade 1998. Normal Goldberg vs. Nash match, but with a Russo finish.

Gene interviews Booker about the main event. Booker says he will answer the opportunity, and win the match.

Main event next. Jarrett vs. Booker is preceded by talk about the earlier incident. After Buffer introduces Booker and Jarrett, the match begins. Jarrett walks out with Big Gold. The commentators bury Hogan before things start. Booker goes after Jarrett, who goes into the corner. They tie-up, but neither man gains an advantage. A similar sequence has more burial of Hogan as Booker has a chinlock on Jarrett. Jarrett reverses, but Booker sends him along the ropes into a dropkick. Jarrett goes outside for a breather. When Jarrett returns, he uses several right hands before Booker uses a kick and sends him outside. Booker and Jarrett then brawl through the stands. Jarrett almost sends Booker through an exit before Booker sends Jarrett into a wall. Booker drags Jarrett along, but Jarrett throws him over the rail. After a chair shot, Jarrett sends Booker into the commentary table, and piledrives him. Jarrett gets a drink of water before the cameraman has to protect the lens. Jarrett gets Booker back in the ring. Before Booker breaks the momentum, Jarrett uses a sleeper hold. Booker powers out, and gets Jarrett in a sleeper. Jarrett uses a kneebreaker, and gets ready for a figure-four. First attempt is a nearfall for Booker. Second one sees Jarrett lock it in. Booker is trying to reverse, but cannot. Eventually, he gets Jarrett on his stomach. Jarrett breaks the hold, but attacks the leg. Booker moves his leg out of the way, and after a rally, scissorkicks Jarrett. He then spinebusters him to get two. When Booker goes for a kick, Jarrett gets out of the way. Jarrett 10-punches Booker. And after a ref bump, tries to use the Belt. Booker gets a hold of it, and uses it for two. Booker tries to do something else, but low-blow by Jarrett buys him time to wedge a chair in the corner. Booker sends Jarrett into it, but only two. Jarrett then hits the referee with the stroke. He goes to hit Booker with the guitar, but Booker gets him in the Book end to become WCW Champion. Jarrett lost the WCW Championship twice in one night, while Booker got his first reign as WCW Champion After what happened, a great match happened.

The Russo era was not the time where WCW started to die, but it gave fans very little to return to. Overbooked matches, and too many worked instances of shooting drove fans away from great matches like the two Booker wrestled. Well that was WCW Month of Bad PPV Summer. We will now scour all the big places we can to make this last month big. 

Friday, July 24, 2015

NXT Review 7/22/2015

A lot has already happened this week to show that Takeover has a big act to top in regards to SummerSlam. But don’t worry, they intend on doing so tonight.

We start with a recap of NXT Champion Finn Balor winning the prize from Kevin Owens. Tonight will be his first appearance since winning.

Balor walks down holding the Championship belt.  With the arena on it’s feet, Balor starts by saying that everyone knows about his time in Japan, and the sacrifices he’s made. It affected his decision do go to NXT. And the moment he was handed the belt, he knew everything was all worth it to hold the championship in the air. The fans start with “Thank you Finn”, which leads into talk about the rematch with Owens, and will be made official later. Balor talks about the achievements of Owens in the time he’s been in WWE, and says that he never bear Balor. Balor says he will walk in as Champion, and walk out as Champion. Good promo to start the reign of Balor.

Devin Taylor talks to Eva Marie about her upcoming match. Eva Marie thanks NXT GM William Regal for her shot, and hopes to prove fans wrong about her.

An ad for SummerSlam, and more importantly, The Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar. Basically, the only match so far.

Eva Marie walks out wearing a robe for a Ric Flair-themed stripper. She faces Kassie. Time to see if Brian Kendrick deserves money. After reversing an armlock, we get chants of “Let’s go Eva” Eva sucks”! Kassie tries coming back, but Eva Marie hits a decent suplex. Eva Marie locks Kassie’s arm, but releases and sends her in the corner. After a big boot and seated senton, Eva Marie gets two. She goes back to the left arm. Kassie uses a jawbreaker to get out, and uses several kicks. Lance Storm trains more great wrestlers. Eva Marie uses an underhanded tactic to throw Kassie off, and uses sliced bread #2 to win. A decent match. We hope there’s more improvement.

Regal is surprised about Eva Marie before Tyler Breeze interrupts wanting to know what’s in store for him. Regal says he does, and gets back to his call.

Baron Corbin is next. His latest opponent gets no name, just a quick job. Corey Graves calls him Grimace. If anyone is an authority on how one looks…

An ad for WWE2K16 is next. Austin really loves burying his stuff.

Samoa Joe vs. Mike Rallis. Rallis starts brawling with Joe before Joe reverses to “Joe is gonna kill you”. Joe brings him down with an elbow to the face. He then chops in one corner, and jumps up to kick in another. We find out Joe is facing Rhyno at TakeOver. Meanwhile, Rallis gets Uranage’d before a muscle buster secure Joe’s win. Another squash tonight.

Devin with Emma and Dana Brooke. Expect a head pat. Devin asks about Bayley wanting to give her more than a hug. Emma mocks Bayley’s broken hand before Dana offers a hug. Then we get the head pat.

Tough Enough. Basically the WCW 2000 to NXT’s RAW.

Emma has a new theme, while Dana has yet more new gear. A recap of Emma beating Bayley. Bayley’s back with her entrance. We think her gimmick is, putting it nicely, confusing. Fans support both women as the match begins. Emma starts by assaulting Bayley, and pulling her hair. Bayley eventually Bayley’s up and rams Emma into the turnbuckle. Emma roughly escapes, and attacks Bayley’s injured hand upon return. After a snapmare, Emma starts stretching the hand. Eventually separating the fingers. When Bayley tries to get out, Emma lets go and goes for a pin. After only two, Emma continues the assault before attempting a straitjacket. Bayley gets momentum, and uses an elbow off the buckle for two. Bayley and Emma double clothesline. When Bayley tries to get up, Dana tries attacking the hand, and is ejected. After several quick pin attempts, Bayley hits the Bayley to belly to win the match. Bayley then says that felt amazing, and says she’s back to become NXT Women’s Champion. Bayley says in order to do that, she needs to prove it by challenging Charlotte.

A recap of Charlotte making Brie Bella tap twice in a week. Charlotte then explains to new interviewer Dasha Fuentes that what’s been going on on RAW is a statement. That she is just showing how it’s done in NXT, and she wants to face Bayley. Dana interrupts by saying Charlotte has been given more chances because of her last name. Charlotte challenges Dana, who leaves Dasha alone.

The Vaudvillains, easily the team we expect to be ratf---ed by the main roster, vs. Sawyer Fulton and Angelo Dawkins. Simon Gotch uses a roll-up early on to try to defeat Dawkins early, but Dawkins kicks out. As Fulton and Dawkins team assault, we find the Vaudevillains face Blake and Murphy next week. Fulton uses an abdominal stretch before tagging in Dawkins. After a bearhug/dropkick team move. Dawkins tries to dominate, but Aiden English gets the tag and lights them up before a Whirly Dervish helps Gotch get the pin to win. Decent, but short, match.

NXT Tag Team Champions Blake and Murphy are interviewed by Devin, who brings up the Vaudevillains’ success. Murphy says they’re a great present team. Alexa Bliss says her team will remain Champions. Ok promo.

WWEShop has NXT merchandise. Basically, stuff you see on the good show.

Regal is in the ring for the signing, talking about NXT raising the bar. Of course. WWE’s main roster has a problem. Before Regal finishes his thought, Owens barges out. Owens demand for Balor to walk out. Balor is all smiles with his belt. Balor enters, and puts the Championship belt down. Owens asks how it feels to be Champion. He adds that Balor will defend in the biggest NXT match, “in Brooklyn” for heat. He also asks how Balor feels being the underdog. Owens brings up what he’s done in his time in WWE, and that it’s only the first six months. He plans on showing Japan was a fluke, and he not only intends to beat Balor. Balor says he will take Owens’ words, and shove them down his throat. We know Vince didn’t write this because he said throat. After the signing, Regal announces it is officially going to happen. Balor throws the contract, flips the table, punches Regal, and tries to attack Balor. Balor however runs him off to end the show. Effective promo to sell this main event right.

A good night for action. Again, mostly squashes, but we at least saw Eva Marie kn ows what she’s doing now, Bayley is healthy again, and the biggest rematch in NXT is on. Hope next week provides more action, until then, have a good week.

Thursday, July 23, 2015

Impact Review 7/22/2015

Last week saw Bully Ray become the boss. Guessing this puts him in charge of a few people and a copy machine. In any instance, we welcome you back for another edition of Impact.

Dixie walks out to announce the next inductee in the TNA Hall of Fame: GFW promoter, and future TNA co-owner Jeff Jarrett. He’s put over quite well for a man that saw a promotion he founded burning like it has. Josh Mathews says he will be inducted next week. Guess Slammiversary really is the last PPV event.

We join in progress Magnus vs. Bram, who as you know, signed a multi-year contract. After brawling to start, Magnus takes over with strikes and a superplex. Bram tries to escape, but Magnus stops him. Bram briefly comes back, and goes for a baseball slide, but Magnus traps him in the ring apron. After a brief struggle, Bram uses a few weapons to sway things his way. Each time someone uses a baking sheet or trashcan, we imagine someone highlights how stupid it looks. Bram misses with an elbo inside the ring, and Magnus is able to trap Bram in the can. Magnus swats him with a chair several times before going up top. After an elbow drop, Magnus gets two. Magnus tries to finish Bram, but Bram reverses and hits the referee. After another brawl, Bram uses a low-blow. Would’ve been legal no matter what, but he wins. After this, James Storm uses a cowbell on Magnus before saying he will reveal his partner later tonight.

An ad for Bound for Glory. What promotion will work with us?

When Eli Drake walks down, we see a recap of the most obvious swerve in recent memory. Drake says he has heard everyone ask why he did it. He basically says it was because of Drew Galloway’s campaign. That he used Drew for what he could. Drake says everyone has called in sick, used their friends, and are with their significant others because they pay the bills. When Drake says he will prevent Drew from reaching the TNA World Heavyweight Championship. Drew says he brought Drake in due to his instinct. Drew also says that despite all his injuries Drake hurt him more because he was a friend. Drew decides to ask the fans what to do to Drake. They all say “kick his ass.” Drew then channels Taker by saying he’ll make Drake famous. After a miss by Drake, Drew gets an early advantage. Drew tries to use the crutch, but almost gets hit with a future shock.

After a recap of Brooke winning the TNA Knockout Championship, we get a lame plug before Taryn Terrell knocks a grill over. Sadly, no fire. Taryn orders Jade and Marti Belle. Taryn demands Gail Kim comes out, then Brooke. She then screams in octaves dogs think is too much. Brooke says Taryn is not important. And says she and the fans are happy that Taryn hates when the fans say Brooke’s name. After Taryn says no man here is worthy of touching her, Drew chuckled. Brooke says if Taryn wants a shot, to go and get it. This leads to the UnderGail appearing and destroying Jade and Marti. Taryn, looking more like a hot mess, to run off while Gail finishes off the two in the ring.

Our “Thanks for f---ing things up Hernandez” segment is the replay of the Slammiversary King of the Mountain match. Jeff Jarrett vs. Drew Galloway vs. Eric Young vs. Matt Hardy vs. Bobby Roode. Hearing the rules makes many heads hurt. Karen looks like an amazon out of a porn movie. When the match begins, all of the men involved start brawling along the ring area. Jarrett waits for someone to enter. First it’s Roode, who he takes care of, followed by Young, who’s disposed of. Roode gets the first pin against Jarrett. Drew and Young brawl before break, which then sees Roode going to set up a ladder, but is stopped by Matt. When Matt goes to run into Roode, Roode uses an elbow to take things over. When Drew dropkicks Matt, Roode then turns his attention to Drew. When Matt recovers, he and Roode double clothesline. When Jarrett goes to get back in the ring, Young attacks and gets a fall. Young tries climbing with the LegendsglobaltelevisionKingoftheMountain Championship belt. Young stops him. Matt uses the ladder as a weapon, until Drew is able to do a future shock on the ladder. Roode breaks it up. As the four men in the ring brawl, Jarrett waits for the door to open. Jarrett starts beating up whoever he sees before Young throws him out. Roode went for a Roode bomb, but ends up in a twist of fate. Matt pins Roode as Drew pins Young. Roode and Young decide to bring Team Canada back as Jarrett hits the stroke before Matt breaks it up. After a brief brawl, Jarrett again gets two. This time, Drew makes the save. When Drew goes to put the belt up, Roode and Young return from the big cage. After a team assault, the two men trie to taunt before Young tries a piledriver. Meanwhile, Matt tries going up to, but Drew tries to stop him After Jarrett brings both men down, Roode and Young pin them. Jarrett is left against both of them. Instead of a team, we see a brawl before the break. We see an ad for both a Jeff Hardy DVD and a HULK HOGAN DVD! He only damged the promotion. Back from break, and we see Karenm trying to stop Young from reaching a guitar. Jarrett low-blows Young, and hits Roode with it to get a pin. As Matt and Drew return to action, they brawl for the belt. They fall over though, and Jarrett aims to win before Young tries to powerbomb him. Both men brawl on the ring apron before Young piledrives him on the ladder. As Roode re-enters, Matt and Young brawl Drew jumps off the cage to take all three men out. Drew goes to win, but Matt goes up to stop him. Matt hits a twist of fate off the top of the ladder. Matt goes to win, but Roode brings him down. Roode is next to go for a win before Young stops him. Both men brawl on two ladders before Young tries next. Jarrett hits the stroke off the top of the ladder. Jarrett hangs the belt to win the match, and the new GFW World Heavyweight Championship belt.

Now we have Tigre Uno addressing the Donald Trump stuff. We do not get political, so all we’ll say is he refutes some of the claims, and says he invites Trump to the show. Guess we’ll have a lookalike ready.

A recap of Storm saying he will find a woman. Hope she doesn’t ride the rails. This leads Storm to say groups need leadership. He says that he gave Mickie James a shot to join before nearly killing her. Storm basically calls Mickie a lost cause. Storm reveals the newest member of his group is Serena Deeb. Good thing this group isn’t straight edge. Storm orders Serena to reaveal the truth about Mickie. Serena says she and Mickie were friends for years, until Mickie became a star. Serena says she had been lost for a while until finding Storm. Somewhere, a future MMA fighter says “Good thing I’m not there”. Storm then says to Magnus and Mickie’s son Donovan that this is the point where his parents made a mistake.

Josh then plugs another show on the network. We told him he doesn’t have to.

Rockstar Spud vs. Young in a chain match is next. When Spud is putting his chain on, Young assaults him. Young throws Spud throughout the ring. Young sees Spud trying to escape, and chokes him with the chain. When Young goes to wit Spud with the chain, he rolls out of the way. Spud is now dragging Young briefly before Young is able to bring Spud down and choke him with the chain. When Young gets Spud into the ring, the assault resumes. Josh says a slew of things are trends right now. Meanwhile, Spud battles back, and crotches Young on the rope. Spud now whips Young with the chain. Spud tries to go off the top, but Young uses Brian Stifler as a distraction. After a brief assault, a piledriver makes the difference for a win by Young.

Main event of Matt vs. Roode in a table match. Roode starts off by bringing the fight before Matt takes over, even hitting a side effect. When Matt sets up a table, Roobe battles back into the match. Once the match goes outside, Matt reverses, and tries to suplex Roode through the table, but Roode reverses with one on the steps. After sandwiching Matt with a table, Roode jumps on it. Roode gets Matt into the ring to resume the assault. When Roode sets up a table on the turnbuckle, Matt fights back, and tries for a bulldog through the table. Roode stops it, and spinebuster’s Matt. When Roode tries to attact Matt with a table, a low blow brings matt back in this Matt hits a twist of fate, and before he can moonsault, Roode stops him. Roode is thinking to Roode bomb. After several reversals, Matt back body drops Roode through a ladder outside the ring to become #1 Contender.

A decent night of action, but we still are not able to shake the realization this is the end months of this show, at least on this network. But will anyone else be stupid enough to give us a deal? We’ll find out soon. Until then, have a good weekend.

Sunday, July 19, 2015

Creative Locks: Battleground

Tonight is WWE’s Battleground PPV. Now the only major thing that we remember from last year is cable news losing it’s mind about a Rusev promo. Well with the Republicans teaming up on Donald Trump, and Hilary Clinton hiding with 2Pac and B.D. Cooper, we imagine Rusev is sitting safe, provided he gets a last minute match. In any instance, here is what we think will go down tonight

Pre-Show Match
King Barrett vs. R-Truth
Basically, this match is the who is slightly better off match. Barrett has been made into the KOTR just to keep him from getting over. And while WWE may get their wish if he was now just Barrett, we see this as Truth being presented as more of annoyance to Barrett. The biggest reason was Barrett’s “I had to win a tournament” speech. As such, the only what’s up is an elbow upside Truth’s head.
Winner: King Barrett

WWE Tag Team Championship Match
The Prime Time Players vs. The New Day
As great as it is to have the Prime Time Players reign as Champions, they haven’t really done much apart from the occasional teaming with a random face thing. Whereas The New Day have been doing a lot between promos and matches. While we find many times when the previous Champion says they’ll regain it, that that means they will lose. This time though, it may just be a spoiler.
Winners: The New Day

Sheamus vs. Randy Orton
As much as we want to think WWE has decided to make the Money in the Bank satus mean something apart from when they use it, we think they will, at least for a brief period, go with the same pattern. Sheamus has actually taken to this heel run very well, and we would not mind seeing him use it on a non-Lesnar wrestler. However, we know that Orton is the back-up Cena, and since he’s returning from a brief absence with leave, we expect him to go from brogue kick to an RKO.
Winner: Randy Orton

Bray Wyatt vs. Roman Reigns
While it is fun to say “Make Roman look really strong”, this match seems more about humanizing him. This match feels less like a match to have him reign, it’s more of the match that will cause him to seek redemption. In order for this, he has to lose focus, which enables Wyatt to secure a win. We expect the announcers to act like someone was killed in front of them after a Wyatt win.
Winner: Bray Wyatt

WWE United States Championship Match
John Cena vs. Kevin Owens
This will be the match Triple-H will fight for. Owens has been built up too well for him to lose in a big way. In this way, the match is a toss-up. Cesaro being added to the mix makes it likely we will find a triple threat match will happen. Though we do think that because Owens has lost the NXT Championship, that it makes it very likely he’s trading in one belt for another.
Winner: Kevin Owens

WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match
Seth Rollins vs. Brock Lesnar
Seth Rollings (Get Well Soon Little Kuriboh) is going into this match seeming like a pathetic little runt while Ba-Rock Lesnar (Again, Get Well) is going in with all the momentum. This does not actually bode well for Lesnar. Lesnar’s formula is that his opponents go in ready for a war with a man, only to find Lesnar is not a normal man. Rollins seems like he fully expects to be torn apart like a big dog on a tennis ball. This seems too much like something big will help him keep the Championship. According to some, that is a returning Undertaker. Whether this is Taker returning to get revenge on an ungrateful jerk that didn’t care that Kane got injured for him, or to exorcise one more demon before he retires, we cannot say. We imagine whoever gets attacked, Lesnar will get hit first to get him a DQ win. One thing everyone may expect that in this main event is that The Man Comes Around.
Winner: Brock Lesnar (By DQ)

Well those are our predictions. We’re not sure how well we find ourselves being at this, but we did the best we can after an all-night bender. Enjoy the show.

Saturday, July 18, 2015

Bad PPV Summer Hog Wild

Welcome to another edition of Bad PPV Summer. This week in WCW Month, we look at the first, and only, Hog Wild. We say this because Harley Davidson did not like WCW using the word Hog. Some sort of trademark issue. Anyway, this event took place in the middle of a field in Sturgis, where none of the bikers paid to be there. Say what you will about how much money a promotion nowadays pisses away, none of them have intentionally had a non-charity PPV where they made no money. At least until WrestleMania 31. Well enough of this banter. On to the show.

We start with a view of varying South Dakota landmarks before showing us as safe for work of footage as Bike Week has. Then, we get Tony Schivone welcoming us to the show. After showing drunks, we get Tony, looking like a butch, Dusty Rhodes, dressed like Dusty, and Bobby “The Brain” Heenan dressed like a 1980’s coke kingpin. They talk about WCW World Heavyweight Champion The Giant vs. Hollywood Hulk Hogan later tonight.

We start with a match with WCW Cruiserweight Champion Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Ultimate Dragon (With Sonny Onno). What a match to give these guys that aren’t interested in the undercard. After a brief bit from Mike Tenay, and Tony telling the TBS audience to order the event, we start with the match. After a tie-up, Dragon works the arm. This is before Rey had his big weakness. Rey gets out, and the feeling out continues. Rey manages a reverses Indian Deathlock, but Dragon rolls into a pin. After Rey kicks out, Dragon works Rey over with chinlocks. Sonny is dressed like Tony for some reason. The fans chant “USA”. Likely knowing Rey’s from San Diego. Rey uses his quickness very well to take over. Tenay puts over the division, while the fans sometimes wake up. Dragon is able to use an elbow to take advantage, and the hits a running powerbomb before using a figure-four. Listening to Dusty being both excited, AND making sense makes us miss that type of announcing. Tenay wishes Jushin “Thunder” Liger a speedy recovery following cancer surgery. Knowing that he still wrestles makes this an unusual thing to hear. Dragon uses a rack attack, followed by a surfboard. The fans are starting to be lively. Rey avoids being thrown out of the ring, and dropkicks Dragon out of the ring. Rey jumps out after Dragon, and gets him back into the ring. Rey then hurricanrana’s Dragon before trying to springboard off the rope. Dragon dropkicks Rey out of the ring. Dragon follows Rey out of the ring, and brings him back so he can German suplex him. Dragon then moonsaults, but only gets two. Dragon tries the running powerbomb again, but Rey gets out. Now dominating, Rey Frankensteiners Dragon to get the win. A good opening match, but those attending brought things down a bit.

Mean Gene Okerlund plugs his hotline. This version censors the number on the screen, but not when he says it. After this, Tony talks about Bike Week, which we imagine Eric Bischoff had a reason to choose this place.

Scott Norton vs. Ice Train is next. FIRE AND ICE EXPLODES! Dusty says “God help me”, He knows this match is bad. We see a sign that says WCW vs. nWo. So we know not all those are drunk bikers. After a feeling out, Ice Train attacks with his good arm. Norton is able to sway things by hitting the left arm. Norton sends Ice Train unconvincingly into the post. Still attacking Ice Train’s arm, Norton is able to withstand a bodyslam. Norton eventually forces Ice Train’s head down. There’s a joke here, but we don’t want to get into trouble. Ice Train chops his way back into this, but Norton again works on the arm. Ice Train starts getting back in with strikes and a near-fall, but Norton is able to armbar for a submission win. Not a great match, but something to fill the show.

A recap of Ric Flair talking about the nWo’s attack on Arn Anderson. Flair says he thought the nWo and the Four Horsemen could co-exist, but the assault shows the Horsemen need to work with WCW against the nWo.

After talking more about Bike Week, Jimmy Hart talks about the merchandise. Again, number not shown, but spoken.

Madusa vs. Bull Nakano (With Sonny) in a Battle of the Bikes. Nakano wears a leather jacket while Sonny rides in on a Honda crotch rocket. Madusa rides in on a Harley wearing American flag gear. Guess we know who the face is. Nakano uses a set of nun-chucks to attack early on. It was acceptable at the time. Nakano drives Madusa face first into the mat while the fans yell “USA”. Madusa is able to string together offense to take over briefly. Nakano uses a Scorpion crosslock. We don’t hear “THIS IS MY HOUSE”! Nakano locks in a sleeper, but the fans will Madusa back up. Madusauses a hurricarana for two. Before Madusa is able to kick, Nakano strikes with an elbow for two. Each wrestler uses a suplex into a pin, but only get two. Madusa goes for a sunset flip, but gets two. When Onno goes to sledgehammer Madusa’s bike, she takes it off of him and shows she’s the original Paul Heyman wrestler to cause vehicular damage. She will take this destruction to her later career as a monster truck driver. Decent match mean’t to fit with the show.

We see The Steiner Brothers going on the internet. We imagine they’re looking at Steiner yelling at a fat person.

We have a period of time not disclosed by info as to who’s in the match on our network feed. We imagine it has to do with Dean Malenko’s opponent: Chris Benoit. Benoit is walking down with Woman, and Elizabeth. Benoit talks trash before shooting the legs. Malenko is able to fight out of the corner, but Benoit takes momentum. Malenko however, uses a suplex for two. Back on offense, Malenko uses a chinlock. Benoit gets out, and talks more trash. Benoit chokes Malenko with the rope before going for a pin. Malenko gets out, but Benoit stays on him. After a see-saw pin series, Malenko uses a hip-toss into an armbar. Malenko hold on until Benoit powers out. After an elbow, Benoit uses a snap suplex. When Malenko goes off the ropes, Benoit uses an abdominal stretch. After we get a shot of the audience, we see that both men are in a yay boo that the fans don’t seem to be bothered to care about. Knowing how the world remembers him, Benoit using the diving headbutt is disturbing. Malenko gets out of whatever Benoit’s planning, and tombstones him. Malenko goes for the Texas cloverleaf, but Benoit rolls up for two. Both men brawl until they end up outside of the ring. Malenko reverses an attempt to send him into the post, and puts Benoit into it instead. Once the action returns to the ring, Benoit stops Malenko from going off the top turnbuckle by superplexing him. After a desperation German, Malenko finds his offense is brief. Though Malenko manages to resume momentum with a clothesline. Despite all of this, Benoit is able to use a German of his own to get two. After bodyslamming Malenko, Benoit uses a Boston crab while bikers act like it’s a Bella match. When Malenko goes for a breather outside, Benoit pursues and keeps on him. After both men return to the ring, Malenko gets a quick pin attempt. After going off the ropes, Malenko attempts a pin, followed by Benoit attempting one of his own. After a powerbomb, again we see an attempt to go off the top by Benoit. This is countered by a superplex. As the time nears the end, we actually hear fans begin to countdown. The match initially ends in a draw before they are given five minutes. This starts with brutal offense by Benoit, who then uses a Texas cloverleaf of his own. Malenko tries to get to the rope before Benoit pulls him into the center of the ring. After frustration over Malenko not giving up, Benoit releases. Malenko hits a desperation DDT before we see both men’s heads hit. Malenko is selling a bad knee while Benoit targets that knee. Malenko fights desperately to overcome the submission moves and strikes to his knee. After Malenko uses a roll-up again, five extra minutes. This time, the bikers are loving this. Malenko now has an injured knee that HE can take advantage of. After kicking out of a Tiger suplex, Malenko is able to take over, and lock in the Texas cloverleaf before using an STF. Malenko breaks the hold to fend off Woman, which allows Benoit to get the pinfall victory in this match. While we feel much differently about him than we did in 1996, Benoit had a great match. That’s the only credit we’ll give him for now.

WCW World Tag Team Champions Harlem Heat vs. The Steiner Brothers. Scott Steiner looks different without all the tattoos and chainmail. Sherri wears a pantsuit that makes her look like a crazy version of Hilary Clinton. After giving time to Harlem Heat to heel it up with the crowd, Scott starts against Booker T. After Booker turns his back, Scott attacks without sympy. He powerbombs Booker, and suplexes Stevie Ray. Scott uses the agility lent to not yet being a genetic freak to move quickly in the ring, even 10-punching Booker. Col. Rob Parker seems like he wants to take a shot at Scott. Your funeral. After Stevie tags in, he starts wearing Scott down with kicks and elbows. Scott however, is able to suplex his way to dominate. Scott tags in Rick Steiner, who gets Stevie down long enough for a double team on Stevie. Booker is able to tag in, and build momentum before Scott belly-to-bellys him and tags in Rick. Rick’s dominance ends when Stevie hits him behind the referee’s back. Booker dominates before tagging Stevie back in. Stevie uses a chinlock to wear Rick down before Booker tags back in. A leap frog attempt leads to Rick powerslamming Booker.  When Booker reverses an Irish whip, Stevie sends Rick outside. Stevie, and even Sherri, uses referee Randy Anderson being distracted to strike. Even through all of this, Rick kicks out. Harlem Heat uses a team up to wear Rick further. Rick manages to get out of a choke, but despite a missed elbow, Booker spinaroonie’s his way back into the match. After Stevie tags in, he continues the assault before Booker tags in and misses a knee drop. Scott gets the tag and clears house. After Sherri and Parker accidentally hit both legal men with powder, Parker hits Scott with his cane to secure a win. Decent tag match that gave everyone time to shine.

We see different WCW wrestlers on bikes. Sting, Mongo and Pepe, Paul Orndorff, who could take some of the fans, Big Bubba, and Diamond Dallas Page among others. Then we see footage of the week. Some of it should not be seen by humans.

WCW United States Champion Ric Flair (With Woman and Elizabeth) vs. Eddie Guerrero is up next. Flair as U.S. Champion is much like John Cena as U.S. Champion: Keep him busy until 16. After a shoving match between the two men, we start with a tie-up. Flair eventually gets shoved down several times before rolling to the outside. Once back inside, Flair locks up again. He uses shoulder tackles and a back suplex before exchanging chops with Eddie. Locking up again, Eddie rolls out of multiple pins, and springs back up after a punch. Both men exchange blows before Eddie back body drops Flair. Flair eventually reverses, and uses several rights to send Eddie to the ground. Flair then both chops and punches Eddie in the corner. Eddie reverses and 10-punches Flair before chopping him and sending him to the other buckle. When Flair tries to catch himself on the apron, Eddie dropkicks him. Eddie is able to send Flair outside. Once back in, Flair takes over briefly. Eddie uses a crossbody, and even rolls out of the way when Flair tries to counter a sunset flip. Eddie locks in the figure-four on Flair, but breaks it and uses agility to attempt a pin. Eddie tornado DDT’s Flair, and pins him for two. After Eddie uses Flair’s strut, he goes to elbow in the corner. After this, we get the Flair going off the top attempt. When Eddie tries a sunset flip we see more of Flair than most should see. When Eddie hits a frog splash, he is unable to capitalize. We hear fans yelling for “Eddie” while Flair locks in the figure-four. Flair uses help from both the rope, and Woman to make the pain so unbearable, Eddie loses focus and is pinned with the move. A great semi-main event for this show.

Again, more Bike Week porn before Jimmy Hart tells Hogan no one will catch him when he falls. The Giant talks about being a Hogan fan, until Hogan turned. Giant cuts a better promo than he has in 2015.

The Outsiders vs. Sting and Lex Luger. Sting and Luger get a good 30 seconds of pyrotechnics. Amazing what you can do when you have both good wrestling and near-infinite resources. After Scott Hall and Kevin Nash play rock paper scissors to decide who starts, we have Scott and Luger in a feeling out period. Hall takes over and out grapples Luger. He also seems to outbrawl, but he can’t overcome Luger’s power. Finding Luger is too strong, he tags in Nash. Nash then spits on Sting. As a result, Sting tags in. After Nash uses a bit of power, Sting tries to use speed. Nash eventually is befallen by an eye poke. After Sting tries some offense in the corner, Nash rolls the dice with snake eyes. Hall tags in, and distracts pre-nWo referee Nick Patrick while Nash attacks. When Nash tags in, he knees Sting multiple times. Nash throws Sting around before tagging in Hall. Hall uses a fall away slam, and tries to use his feet on the ropes. Hall starts playing with Sting like a cat does with a mouse before tagging in Nash. Nash chokes Sting with his foot while Luger wants in big time. Sting battles out with punches and kicks before Nash backs him into a corner. When Nash tries a clothesline, Sting reverses and lays him out. Nash recovers long enough to tag in Hall. Hall assaults Sting for a bit before Nash tags back in. Nash doesn’t do much before Hall’s back in to try an Outsider’s edge. Sting reverses, and tags in Luger. Luger 10-punches Hall while Sting Stinger splashes Nash. While Sting has the Scorpion deathlock on Nash on the outside, Luger tries to use the torture rack, but stumbles, enabling Hall to get the win. Ok match. Presents the Outsiders as a tight-knit unit.

Giant (With Jimmy Hart) vs. Hogan main events. Michael Buffer really hypes this match real well, and makes each entrance that much more of an epic moment. Hogan starts by teasing he’ll enter the ring, but keep backing away. Hogan walks away before finally turning around to face Giant. Hogan tries to battle Giant, but he’s too big to be taken lightly. Giant sends Hogan out again. When Hogan tries to chinlock Giant, he gets hit with a back suplex. Giant pulls on Hogan’s hair, which causes a bit of stalling while Hogan yells at fans. Hogan tries a knucklelock, but finds Giant is too much of a knucklehead to be held down. Though he finally gets him down, Giant starts powering out. Hogan knows how to keep wrestlers from getting over him, but Giant is still able to reverse the pressure. With Giant now locking Hogan’s arm, Hogan finds he needs to use the hair. With Hogan now dominating, he starts working over Giant. Hogan’s control is short-lived. Giant keeps powering his way back off the mat, and uses Hogan’s hair. Both men end up outside, where Hogan sends Giant into the post, and rakes his back. Giant refuses to go into the post a second time, and sends Hogan into it. Giant throws Hogan around, and uses a backbreaker for two. Giant bodyslams Hogan, but misses with an elbow. Hogan takes advantage until Giant Hulk’s up. Giant gets ready to chokeslam Hogan, but Hall runs in. Hall gets chokeslamed. Nash tries to use the megaphone, he too is chokeslammed. Then Hogan uses the megaphone to get the win. This then sees Giant sell Hogan’s hit for several minutes while the nWo and the Booty Man celebrate with cake. 2 decades later, and Giant would be part of long winded segments after having eaten cake. Hogan even turns on Booty Man while Giant is sawing logs. They spraypaint Big Gold while Giant sells like he was shot out of a tank. Worst thing to do to that Belt before WWE put their logo on it. Not a great match, and the finish went on too long. A sign of things to come for them.

The matches were not bad, but the mix of fans and bikers, paired up with a gate of $0, were too much to ignore. Though as far as nWo-based PPVs, this did what it was supposed to do. Well that’s it for this week. Join us next week when we find ourselves deep in Russo turf. Until then, we hope your week is better than this event.

Thursday, July 16, 2015

NXT Review 7/15/2015

Well this past Monday showed what WWE’s “divas” division was lacking: Pushes for women that are not benefitting from personal relationships. And wouldn’t you know it, those women that proved this came from Triple-H’s pet project. So let’s go over this week’s episode.

We start with a recap of Charlotte teaming with, and being granted an NXT Womens Championship match against Sasha Banks. Both women are over, and put on great matches. Again, wouldn’t you know it.

Jason Jordan and Chad Gable vs. Steve Cutler and Alias Sampson Jordan starts against Sampson, and Jordan shows some amateur move before tagging in Gable. Gable shows what he can do against Cutler. Seems we have the makings of a new World’s Greatest Tag Team. Sampson tags in and gets the better of Gable before getting two. After Cutler tags in, Gable hits a desperation maneuver and tags in Jordan. After a flurry, Jordan tags Gable back in, and they hit a double team finisher and win.

A recap of Paige, Becky Lynch, Charlotte, and Sasha Banks mutilate the Bella Twits and Alicia Fox. WWE will find a way to screw it up.

Ad break sees an ad for Cena Owens 3, and Austin Buries His Stuff: The Video Game.

Samoa Joe vs. Axel Tisher. “Joe ist dich töten”. After a tie-up, Joe starts to slug it out with Tisher. Joe uses a knee drop on the chest. Tisher starts to rebound with some strikes and rubbing Joe’s face on the rope. Joe starts to regain momentum with an STO out of the corner. The match ends when Joe hits a muscle buster, then rear naked chokes Tisher until the match is stopped. A squash to establish Joe’s destructive style. We remember when we suggested making him a main eventer again. Who’s laughing now we ask.

Total Divas ad shows us Eva Marie. Well, at least she wrestles now.

A look at Baron Corbin sees him showing off college football championships, boxing championships, and a ju-jitsu run. Corbin brags about his NFL run, and says he doesn’t care that fans boo him. They’re really working to make this guy hated, but they’re trying. Unlike the main roster.

Eva Marie starts trolling fans when she announces she will wrestle next week. While the fans are mostly dead for this, we will find out next week.

NXT Tag Team Champions Blake and Murphy have their epileptic dubstep entrance when they walk out to destroy Angelo Dawkins and Sawyer Fulton. Murphy starts out with Dawkins. Dawkins get some offense in before Murphy uses a kick to enable him to tag in Blake. Blake uses a chinlock to bring Dawkins to the ground. He next tags Murphy back in. Murphy elbows Dawkins in the back before another chinlock Randy? Dawkins tries to get to Fulton, but Blake sneaks over and knocks him off. Blake and Murphy then win with their suplex into a frog splash finisher. Alexa Bliss direct them to keep assaulting Fulton. She then uses their assistance to use her sparkle splash.

We see Sasha preparing for her match later tonight.

Ad break for Tough Enough seems like a big joke.

Sami Zayn comes out to let fans know about his health status. Zayn likes how the fans want him back. Zayn says that he recently had surgery to repair the damage done to his shoulder earlier this year. Zayn says that what makes the injury tough is that it was on the heels of possibly his best year as a wrestler. He adds that he likely will not be back until next year. He hopes to return and become NXT Champion again. Though he brings up Kevin Owens, so we imagine he will return to cost him the Royal Rumble.

We get a recap of Charlotte making her offer to Sasha, as well as her challenge. Which leads us to Charlotte getting ready for the match.

A recap of Finn Balor defeating Owens to become Champion. This leads us to NXT General Manager William Regal announcing the rematch between them will be at the next Takeover, where after a few verbal jabs, Balor talks about how returning to Japan for a match like that could not be scripted better. The jabs resume when Owens said the same time Balor was in Japan, Owens was having big matches in New York.

Charlotte vs. Sasha main events the show. After sizing each other up, they tie up. A bit of a strut by Charlotte leads to another tie up. Sasha runs at Charlotte, but Charlotte’s agility proves to be difficult to overcome early on. Charlotte stays on Sasha until Sasha uses double knees to the stomach. It only gets two. An ad for WWE Shop selling NXT merchandise. Finally some stuff worth buying. Sasha is still dictating the match when the match returns. Sasha uses a choke with her foot to get Charlotte to Flair flop. Sasha then backstabbers Charlotte into a straitjacket. Despite Charlotte trying to counter out, Sasha keep on the offense before Charlotte powerbombs Sasha. Sasha is able to get up first, followed by a yay boo punch sequence before Charlotte uses a spear. Sasha gets out and attempts to win with a backslide. Sasha then slaps, but then gets poked in the eye followed by a series of punches. Charlotte attempts a figure-four, but Sasha rolls her up for two. Before Sasha locks in a figure-four, she is countered. Charlotte locks in the hold. Sasha reaches the rope, but Charlotte only releases at 4. Once back in the ring, Charlotte and Sasha use roll-ups for two. But finally, Sasha locks in a Bank Statement. Even though Charlotte tries for a pin, Sasha reverses. Eventually, Sasha gets this one. Even though Sasha went in as a heel, she acts very face-like in matches like this. So we imagine she’s a tweener now, if not face. The two hug to end the show.

This week was very squash heavy, but given the main event it had, we imagine that this was not much of a problem. In the weeks building to Takeover, we hope to see just what will take points off of the week’s building to Summerslam. Until then, have a decent week.

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Impact Review 7/15/2015

Well Dixie is back on TV. Guess she wants to be on to say goodbye. In any instance, we are here for another week of action. We find out who Dixie put in charge. Even if you know who he is, you will ask yourself why it is him.

We start with a recap of last week’s main event between TNA World Heavyweight Champion Ethan Carter III vs. Kurt Angle. After the match, Dixie turns face. Because that’s what the show was missing.

Dixie starts by apologizing, and giving what sounds like it will be used on a Rise and Fall DVD. EC3 calls this a farce, and wants to know who this “The Law” is. Out comes Bully Ray. Yep. The guy that in kayfabe tried to kill the promotion is now running things. Guess this makes sense though. Bully’s the only guy that fans won’t boo. Bully says the first thing he heard from her was “I’m sorry.” Not even the production guys never got one. Her gimmick seems to be she’s trying not to screw up. If only that was her gimmick in 2009. Bully says he came back for the fans. Good, because we’re not sure he’s getting paid. Bully then says the wrestlers around the ring should stand on the ring apron since they’re not beneath him. After accepting the offer, Bully announces a battle royal to decide who faces EC3 later tonight. Since the wrestlers are not in the ring, we’re suspecting Russo may want in.

The battle royal starts after we come back. Norv Fernum and Crazzy Steve are out early. A lot of random fights with guys who may be gone soon. Khoya eliminates Mandrews next. He may be our Roman Reigns soon. Shark Boy’s out, followed by Manik. Abyss gets tossed by Magnus after a double chokeslam. After a plug by Josh Mathews, both Magnus and James Storm are dropped like Mickie James on traintracks. Back from the break, and a s---load of guys are gone. Now it’s MVP, Eric Young, and Drew Galloway. Young and MVP double team. MVP’s eliminated by Young, leaving Drew to face off with Young. Drew reverses a piledriver, and after a quick sequence, Drew wins the match, and will face EC3 later.

A video for 2012 Hall of Famer Sting, who went from Hall of Fame, to jobbing because he was a WCW guy. We find out who goes in next next week.

Mike Tenay interviews Mr. Anderson about Bram. Anderson says he doesn’t know if he will face him again. Well he has a multi-year contract, so maybe.

After Bully makes a Tommy Dreamer reference, he tells Rockstar Spud that he may not have beaten Kurt Angle, he certainly showed he belongs. So he puts Spud in an X-Division Championship match after the break. He makes matches quickly.

A video for Angle as a HOFer is next. Boy it took a while before inducting someone who was there from the beginning.

After a recap of Drew winning, he basically says he will make the most of his shot. Eli Drake wishes him luck. Did we mention he’s turning on him?

Tigre Uno will address Donald Trump next week. Yep, we’re going political. We will also have wrestlers dress as people running for president 2 years after the election. Wait, we already did that. Sorry Daff.

Up next is a fatal 4 way match for the X-Division Championship. Tigre Uno vs. Grado vs. DJZ vs. Spud. Tigre Uno finds Grado is too fat to be kicked around. It takes both Tigre Uno and DJZ to bring Grado down. We see Tigre Uno and DJZ have an entertaining sequence before Grado and Spud team up on DJZ. Tigre Uno is able to bring Grado down, and when both Spud and DJZ are on the outside, get the win.

TNA Knockout Champion Taryn Terrell cuts her usual promo with 2 Girls, 1 Cup music playing. This time, the Gail Kim revenge video cuts between it.

Taryn vs. Brooke starts with vintage TNA. Taryn’s name is not on the graphic, but the music Billy’s friend sung does. Taryn starts by assaulting Brooke while acting cute to referee Earl Hebner. Brooke is able to battle back before Jade and Marti Belle gang up on her while Taryn distracts the referee. Taryn wears Brooke down somw more before Brooke uses a Russian legsweep to briefly regain momentum. Taryn taunts a little bit before Brooke rallys. Again, Jade and Marti provide a distraction so Taryn will be able to attack Brooke. Taryn sends her into the steps. Cesaro will tell you just how bad they can be. She gets Brooke in the ring, and goes up top. Her crossbody only gets two. Brooke uses a cradle, which seems to shake Taryn’s focus. Brooke then uses clotheslines and back elbows before using what we technically refer to as a spear. Brooke again sent down by Jade and Marti. Lights go out. When they return, Gail assaults The Dollhouse. Lights go out again. Gail is gone, and Brooke defeats Taryn.

Angle explains that he and Bully have a lot in common. Both men were in an original ECW ring.

Angle then brings up the fast rate things have occurred the last few tapings… Shows. Angle says he’s not happy that EC3 got himself DQ’ed. He says Bully will pretend the rematch hasn’t been given yet, so he gets it whenever he wants. Angle says that he can’t use it now because of a tumor he has to get removed. This brings Young, who never likes those that are handicapped or not healthy. Young says he’s the one that beat Angle after piledriving him. Thinking about it, we should give Angle a brief final run. Young sneak attacks Angle, and goes for a piledriver before Chris Melendez makes the save. Melendez then gets piledriven.

A video for Team 3D from their induction. Bully returned after the worst Rumble match ever.

We see the unsanctioned match from Slammiversary a few weeks ago. Tweet of the night goes to @JBLsDragon Next on #DestinationIMPACT TNA laughs at fans who paid pay $50 to see #StormvsMagnus at #slammiversary by replaying for free. Magnus starts by brawling with Storm on the outside. Dragging him around, and sending him into the rail. They then brawl by catering. Storm sending Magnus through the table. Worst post-Samoa Joe thing to happen to the table. Cut to post powder throwing, we see Storm bring out an old rail, and chairs. When Storm is ready to go off the top, Magnus gets a hold of him, and superplexes him. Both men wallop each other with beer bottles, but since Storm lands on Magnus, he wins. Guess you can get away with attempted murder. Next, we get the vague promo on the Impact after the show. This feels like Beat Down Clan stuff was supposed to be there. Cut to Storm saying he has a partner, and it’s someone Mickie knows. We hope it’s Trish Stratus.

Bully finds EC3 is trying to get out of his match later tonight. Bully refuses to hear it, and tells him he will defend.

EC3 vs. Drew is next. The Pope seems to be the face here. We think. Not enough “Daddy” used. Drew gets EC3 into the corner before referee Brian Hebner. EC3 is able to counter the momentum of Drew, but only briefly. Drew chops away. Even when EC3 escapes the ring, Drew follows him. When Drew gets EC3 into the ring, Tyrus attacks. Drake comes out to “even things up”. After we return from the break, we see that EC3 is still in the driver’s seat. After a suplex, EC3 uses several elbows. Drew battles out, but EC3 clotheslines him back down. Chants of “Ethen’s awesome” and “No he’s not” are present as Drew gets out of a camel clutch. EC3 then starts bashing Drew’s face into the mat. After slapping Drew, EC3 finds it’s a bad idea. Drew starts to dominate with power moves, but EC3 kicks out. Drew uses an emerald fusion, but Tyrus puts EC3’s foot on the rope behind the referee. EC3 has to low-blow Drew, giving Tyrus time to get in the ring. Drake cuts him off, but hits Drew in is the most obvious swerve ever. EC3 uses a 1%er to win the match. Great match, but the finish really would’ve been better if it wasn’t so obvious. Thank/Blame Billy.

A decent episode with a very chilling opening promo. Makes you think that she knows the end may be near soon. Well that does it for this week, at least for Hernandez.