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Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Impact Review 9/2/2015

Between Seth Rollins finding he’s nailing an alleged racist, a maniac getting shot at WWE’s Performance Center, Bram signing a new bond agreement, and Jimmy Snuka being declared a Superfly-t risk, wrestling has made it so we don’t have to perform. We need to try though if Global Force Wrestling needs bookers. Well we focus on Impact. Tonight, TNA World Heavyweight Champion Ethan Carter III defends against Matt Hardy, who’s also defending his brother, Jeff Hardy’s freedom. Poor use of words after the last few days.


After showing he Hardys and EC3 walking in at different times, we see a recap of Jeff Jarrett’s heel turn last week. Must flee TV. Jarrett walks out with GFW along with him. Josh Mathews says Jarrett should be kicked out of the TNA Hall of Fame. Right, because THAT’S the worst thing a Hall of Famer has done. Jarrett makes it clear he tried to help Dixie by running the show for her. Karen Jarrett adds that she had to mastermind the attacks to help Jeff. Jeff thanks her for setting up an invasion. This won’t end well. Anyway, Jarrett say no one can compete with them. Chris the Adonis says he’s not impressed, and issues an open challenge. Showing it’s 2006, Bobby Lashley accepts.


Lashley starts by throwing Adonis around for a good bit before they lock-up. Adonis takes over with a low-blow. After a brief attack by Adonis, Lashley tries to surge, but Adonis keeps on him with a chinlock. Once Lashley gets him outside, they brawl until Adonis sends him outside. Once Lashley returns, Adonis suplexes Lashley and tries for a pin. Once Lashley gets a few hits in, both men are down. When both are back up, Lashley uses a suplex, followed by a shoulder tackle by Lashley, and a delayed suplex. When Lashley goes for a spear, Adonis moves out of the way, and locks in the Mordetzky loock. Lashley avoids it, and spears Adonis. As Lashley goes for a pin, GFW assaults Lashley. As TNA World Tag Team Champions The Wolves try to help, but are assaulted as well. Jarrett implores Karen to bring her surprise with her.


Karen attempts to use Magnus’ Feast or Fired briefcase for Trevor Lee and Bryan Myers. Guess he couldn’t wait to leave. After referee Earl Hebner refuses, they assault him and make referee Brian Stifler do it. Eddie Edwards keeps kicking out, but the team assault keeps him in the ring. Edwards manges to get Lee in a half crab while Davey Richards has a cloverleaf. After a distraction by Sonjay Dutt causes the holds to be broken, Lee uses the briefcase to hit Edwards and get a pin. Co-Tweet of the night goes to @WheelerDeeler: “Lee & Myers needed a 5+ Minute Gang Attack, A Distraction & A Briefcase to beat The Wolves”... Davey Richards was upset he didn’t tag into the match.


Bobby Roode again says he’s not respected, and that he will beat TNA King of the Mountain Champion P.J. Black.


Recaps of the assaults, then talk about other matches, and our farewell tour.


Jeremy Borash interviews EC3, EC3 says he never read Hardy Boys books. First time that joke was used, but he was more of a choose your adventure guy. And has demands for Jeff.


After showing Dixie looking confused as usual, we get Roode vs. Black. Roode tells Black to look around, and see TNA. Roode’s a TNA wrestler, and he helped to build what Black sees. He says some have loved him, some hated, but they all respect him. He doesn’t know what’s going on with GFW, but “THIS IS MY HOUSE”! Hope he doesn’t turn on one glorified independent to pad another glorified independent’s roster. As the match starts, Roode punches away before going for a “BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK BODY DROP”! The brawl goes outside, where Roode continues to assault as Josh tries to explain why this is one-on-one. After Black takes the match inside, Roode stomps away before Black kicks to battle back. Into the match before break. Back from break, and Roode starts rebounding by taking Black down. We then get a yay/boo before Black misses a springboard. Roode uses a spinebuster, and begins to rally. Roode hits several big moves before thinking about a roode bomb. Black gets out, and gets a pin for two. Black uses a tornado DDT to set Roode up for a springboard moonsault to again get two. Roode battles ahead and locks in his crossface. Dutt tries to get involved, but Drew Galloway takes him out. When Black tries to fly, he’s hit in the Roode bomb to win the GFW World Heavyweight Championship. GFW next walks out and demands to see Dixie.


Dixie again says there was supposed to be a team. Jeff says Dixie let different people fail her. She says she’s been here fighting for everything, and that Jarrett removed himself. Dixie says she learned ego from Jarrett. Jarrett says she is unable to do anything about his ownership. Dixie then challenges Jarrett to assemble a team for a match for ownership of TNA. Jarrett says that it’s not about ego, and that his team proves it. Drew stands up as the team captain for TNA before The Wolves come out next, and then Lashley. The Pope calls Lashley the tank that moves like a sports car. He just described Bray Wyatt. Co-Tweet of the night goes to @ShroomMeister: “Looks like Survivor Series 2001 is coming early”.


After showing Jarrett leading a “Woah Bundy”, we get a plug for a calendar that may outlive us.


The one-man Beat Down Clan Kenny King says he no longer wants to sucker punch, or takes part in assaults because he’s a leader. He then says he’s bringing back Open Fight Night. Guess he just gotn here. Bram fresh from jail accepts. After a brief brawl, Bram tries to bring King out. King sends him down, and plancha’s him. When King tries to fly, Bram grabs him by the throat and slams him down. Bram brings him inside and clotheslines him. Outside of kayfabe for a second, hearing live commentary put over how vicious Bram is is creepy after Monday. Back to kayfabe, Bram keeps criminally assaulting King until he wins.


Borash interviews the Hardys. Matt says he’s fueled by the risk for his brother, and the reward of the gold.


Stone Cold Velvet Sky talks about how the division has evolved, and how The Dollhouse is too crazy. She demands Taryn Terrell walk out. Taryn brings it via satellite, and says she’s done more than Velvet, and that Velvet will have to play with her Dollhouse. This leads to Jade, Marti Bell, and Rebel walking out. Velvet starts fighting with them, but there are too many underpaid people before pregnant Angelina Love and Madison Rayne help even things up. After fighting back, the re-united Beautiful People lets everyone know they’re back. Hope Angelina isn’t showing next month.


A video for recent matches and segments between EC3 and Matt highlight the match tonight.


A recap of the challenge between Dixie and Jarrett brings us to Drew asking if Dixie’s sure about this. She says she is. The match will be Lethal LockDown.


EC3 vs. Matt main events. The match begins with both men locking-up.EC3 backs into the corner. EC3 gets Matt into a chinlock before Matt sends him off the ropes. Matt uses elbows and knees to get the first pin attempt. Matt uses a neckbreaker to get two. EC3 battles back, but a “BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK BODY DROP”! and a clothesline send him outside and into the break. Back from break, EC3 is in charge in the match. He goes for an elbow drop, but Matt rolls out of the way. When Matt runs off the ropes, EC3 uses a sleeper hold until Matt jawbreaks him. A yay/boo follows before Matt clotheslines EC3 when EC3 goes to the corner, Matt bulldogs him. After a side effect, Matt gets two. EC3 avoids a twist of fate, leading to a ref bump. Matt hits it, but no referee then leads to a punch by Tyrus, and a hit with the gold. All of that only gets two. Jeff hits Tyrus while Matt rolls EC3 up for two before another attempt for a pin by EC3. Matt headbutts EC3, and hits Tyrus before Jeff hits Tyrus. Matt uses a tornado DDT to get only two. Matt goes for a twist of fate, but EC3 uses a clothesline. EC3 then uses a low-blow, and a sunset flip for a win. EC3 then forces Jeff to be in the ring and raise his arm.


That’s the first of our final episodes on the network. Odds are that the show is not coming back, and the last memories will either be what has been taped, or BFG. In any instance, we hope to keep you informed. Jest be careful about these next several days.

Friday, August 28, 2015

What the Collapse of the Diva Revolution Says About WWE

There is no secret that boatloads of fans have jeered the Diva Revolution angle. And while there known causes for it’s collapse have been brought up, Stephanie McMahon proclaiming herself the savior of the division, the constant reminders that women can actually compete in sports where gravy and gelatin are not part of the playing field, and the promo where Nikki Bella admitted the wins and losses don’t matter, are all factors in why things like #ThingsBetterThanNikkisReign become a trend on Twitter. What hasn’t been talked about is how this angle has come to symbolize all the things that are wrong with the booking in WWE.


Right from jumpstreet, this angle presents evidence that WWE no longer is proactive in seeing what fans want. Fans are tired of WWE ramrodding their usual booking until fans violently reject it. Then make a quick fix without looking to what else may be a problem coming up, or even if there might be a problem with their fix. Fans hated seeing 1-2 minute matches with Wrestler X vs. Bella Y, so WWE has more wrestlers in longer matches. All they changed was the initial problem with the roster and the time they get. The new blood being brought in was not brought in in a way that illustrates who they are.  Fans were not told to be invested in Charlotte, Becky Lynch, or Sasha Banks as individuals with the goal of wrestling the coveted, but condescending belt from Nikki. Rather, they were just part of the same 9 women fighting with no ultimate goal while fans begin raging against a reign possibly in place to spite wrestler turned mixed martial artist CM Punk. We have not seen a group this unstructured since Dixie tried to get Octomom to appear on Impact.


Another problem is how WWE yearns to have mainstream acceptance. Every time Steph said her same “This is me and Ronda Rousey, but mostly me” speech, you almost hear Vince wanting to get on ESPN that night. The repeated ass-kissing makes WWE look less like innovators, and more like imitators.  Other promotions, as well as NXT, don’t go on for 15 minutes about how great their women’s divisions are, they have matches and angles that are often what one would expect for men’s matches.


WWE also seems to prove that only fools rush in. Whether it is giving a group the name Submission Sorority before even thinking it could be used for pornography, or placing images of the women that completed Army Ranger training in a package for women in sports. While the allies are back-to-back World War winners, forgetting to be professional is about the same as forgetting proper use of upper and lower casing. Right now WWE is certainly not helping their Uncle Jack off a horse.


The problems that plague the Diva Revolution are unfortunate, but given the recent track record, they are not surprising. All fans are able to do are shame WWE, and hope Triple-H gets more reign over the show, and soon.

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Impact Review 8/26/2015

Once again, we have another week of two promotions trying to stave off doom for another week. However, we now know Josh Mathews and The Pope no longer have to ask where General Manager Bully Ray went. So that helps.


A recap of the recent attacks on WWE’s Bully Ray and Drew Galloway, the King of the Mountain match, and Jeff Jarrett taking charge.


The Hardy’s walk down to start. Jeff Hardy is sorry that he broke his leg. First time anyone has apologized on this show. He then talks about TNA World Heavyweight Champion Ethan Carter III, and how Matt Hardy deserves one more match! Matt says he has the support of everyone going for him. He says he can carry TNA into the future. Well, about that… Anyway, EC3 says he used to watch the Hardys, and says he’s disappointed at Matt right now. After mocking them some more, EC3 goes to leave before Jeff says he’s a jackass. EC3 mock’s Jeff’s accident. Tweet of the night goes to @WheelerDeeler: Should have said MiniC3 After Jeff hypes Matt one more time, EC3 issues the challenge that he will give one more match under the condition that Jeff becomes EC3’s personal assistant if EC3 wins. We hope he has Jeff spiffy up our office. It smells like beer, Christy Hemme’s feet, and Billy’s tears.


After finding out Bobby Roode, James Storm, Bobby Lashley, and Mr. Anderson will be in a #1 contender’s match, we get a video about the Eric Young vs. Chris Melendez feud. Young then says he will take Melendez’s leg. A bit harsh and stupid, but we never ended a 21-match streak, only to have the one man that army that ended it lose to the man that held the streak after a finish with a botched camera shot.


The Jarretts promise a big night. So Dixie wrote the promo.


Young vs. Melendez. Josh says many likely have Cringed at the match. Really? Wow.  Melendez starts by brawling with Young, but Young takes advantage and hammers away. Melendez tries to get back in this, but Young uses an elbow to keep himself in the driver’s seat. Young uses a chinlock, but Melendez gets out, and uses a Bubba bomb. Despite a poke to the eye by young, Melendez takes advantage, but Young rolls him up, and uses the ropes to win. Josh expects Young not to take what he wants. Moron.


After a replay of the stupidity from just now, we move on to the X-Division. TNA X-Division Champion Tigre Uno vs. DJZ vs. Sonjay Dutt. After a knucklelock is broken up by Dutt, DJZ sends Tigre Uno outside. A quick hurricarana helps Dutt take over, and sends DJZ outside, where he lands on Tigre Uno. After Dutt flies out to splash them, Tigre Uno and DJZ return to the ring, where they fly for a bit before Tigre misses a corkscrew. DJZ uses a baseball slide to keep Dutt outside, and goes to slam Tigre Uno. As Tigre Uno gets out and powerbombs DJZ, Dutt gets in and takes the fight his way. When DJZ gets in, they end up taking each other out. DJZ recovers first, and sends Dutt outside again, and DDT’s Tigre Uno. Tigre Uno recovers, and German suplexes DJZ before splashing him and winning.


James Storm says Mahabali Shera is no longer part of the group, TNA no longer holds him down, and that Manik better not dance again. Easy Lithgow.


A recap of the opening challenge leads to showing The Hardys talking.


TNA World Tag Team Champions The Wolves vs. Manik and Abyss. Davey Richards finds Abyss too strong. Eddie Edwards tags in, and takes him down long enough to tag in Manik. As Josh reminds us Bully is not coming back, Davey tags in, but Manik uses a few flying moves to keep Davey down long enough to frequently tag in and out of the match. Manik’s flight, and Abyss’ power, help them to dominate for a bit, but Davey is still able to tag in Eddie. Eddie chops up Manik before sending him into the corner. Eddie goes for a pin, but Abyss breaks it up. Davey helps Eddie get the big man down before they go coast to coast on Abyss. Storm runs down to try to get involved, but Shera runs him off. Manik is finished off by the Wolves.


After an ad with Christy telling us about a calendar, Jeff has reached a decision. Jeff says that he will accept the challenge for next week.


A recap of the Jarrett angle then brings a shot of Dixie on the phone trying to figure out her options.


TNA Knockout Champion Brooke vs. Stone Cold Velvet Sky. After hearing about Taryn Terrell joining the Submission Sorority last week, we see Velvet brawl her way at first i9n the match. Brooke manages to get a few elbows before going for a pin to get two. Brooke goes to 10 punch, but Velvet gets out and begins to rally until she and Brooke knock each other down. Brooke sends Velvet outside, but Velvet drags her out as well. After a brief brawl, Brooke sends Velvet into the steps. Jade and Marti Belle attack Brooke and Velvet until Rebel runs out, and helps the group that beat her severely several months ago. This then sees Taryn sounding like she used a ton of barbiturates before taping her promo.


Roode basically says he will show everyone why he’s the best later tonight. We think he’s reasdy brother. Mr. Anderson says he’ll let his actions speak.


Drew’s angry on the phone. Surely that being a problem won’t happen.


Mr. Anderson vs.  Storm vs.  Roode vs. Lashley. Strange that Billy wants the winner to face TNA King of the Mountain Champion PJ Black when they could ALL face him. The match starts as a brawl between Mr. Anderson and Storm, and Lashley and Roode. Lashley, dressed like the General Lee, suplexes Roode on the ramp before joining the other two inside. Mr. Anderson and Lashley team assault Storm and send him outside. Mr. Anderson and Lashley have a series of moves that end in counters before we go to break. Back from break, we have a brawl with everyone. Chants of “BEER… MONEY” fill the arena before Storm attacks Roode. Roode uses an elbow, and then a neckbreaker, but only gets two. Mr. Anderson gets Roode down, but Lashley brings him down as well before going for a suplerplex. Roode tower of powers them. Roode gets Mr. Anderson up top for a suplerplex, but Mr. Anderson knocks Roode down. Mr.  Anderson goes to Swanton, but Roode rolls out of the way. After Storm is sent back outside as well, the two men that wrestled for the TNA Championship in January, face off. Roode tries a Roode bomb, but Storm lungbusts him. Mr. Anderson tries to get a pin on Lashley before Roode breaks it up. Mr. Anderson then surges against everyone until Lashley spears him. Storm superkicks Lashley, then Beer Money reunites to attack Mr. Anderson. When Storm goes to kick Roode, Roode gets him into a Roode bomb to win.


Brooke, Gail, and Velvet are on the calendar. Well they stayed no matter what has been asked.


We see the Jarretts, then a shot of Dixie walking out to the ring. Ready for obvious.


Calender ad, meaningless Josh with a meaningless plug, Jeff recap.


EC3 congratulates Jeff for making the decision, then says that Matt better prepare.


Dixie says that things are great when two people run things. 2010-2013 prove that as a no. Again Josh reminds us Bully is not coming back. Jarrett then bellows on about how Dixie needed help. We agree on that. Jarrett says working together is a win for fans. Dixie says the last few weeks have been great, and that they are unstoppable. Dixie is about to seal the deal when Drew walks out and says he has something Dixie needs to know. It has to wait until after the break. Not sure why it has to be. Back from break, Drew puts Jarrett over, then talks about the attacks. Drew said someone must have seen who attacked everyone, as a detective, Drew finds the getaway cars were rentals registered to Jarrett. Drew says Jeff has everything to gain. Running the show and one of his guys winning a belt we made up a month and a half ago. Karen admits she did this. This meanseither he did know or his guys are not even to be trusted by him. Doesn’t matter, Jarrett leads a Global Force Wrestling assault on Drew. Rockstar Spud, Robbie E, and The Wolves try to help, but GFW stand tall. Boy are we going out in a blaze of stupidity.


If you haven’t read the months of spoilers, then you only now know this is the last ditch to stay on TV past next month. Now we are not saying this idea will move the needle slightly at best before we are sent off to become the next book to read, but we hope either we and Justin write the introduction. Well that’s it for tonight. Hope to see you again next week.

Sunday, August 23, 2015

Creative Locks: Summerslam

Well it's Summerslam, and WWE has decided it needs to be WrestleMania. 4 hours of part time guys and wrestling celebrities. Seems like TakeOver will have no problem outdoing it. In any instance, we shall go over who we think will emerge the winners of the different matches on this show. So let us get on with this.

WWE Tag Team Championship Match: The Prime Time Players(C)  vs. Los Matadores vs. The Lucha Dragons vs. The New Day
This match seems destined to be bumped down to the pre-show. It realistically boils down to the Champions, the future holders, and the two teams that are there to be foil. The New Day have one more good run with the gold before they snap. We think it will happen when they isolate the only team here who's act is more stale than the donuts at what our bosses call catering.
Winners: The New Day

WWE Intercontinental Championship Match: Ryback(C) vs. The Miz vs. The Big Show
The match that would not die. WWE seems determined to have this match happen, even if Ryback breaks his arm, Miz tears an ACL, and Big Show gets arrested for turning face and heel on a cop during a traffic stop. As much as we like the idea that Miz has been made too much into a joke that no one will suspect him winning, this is more their match to make Ryback. He will likely be the one to retire Big Show. Hopefully, by choice.
Winner: Ryback

Dolph Ziggler vs. Rusev
Given how WWE is rumored to have cooled on Lana like Mr. Burns once he saw a hero dog on TV, we are suspecting that this may give Rusev more time to gloat about turning Summer Rae into a new version. We think Ziggler will get his chance at redemption next month. But for now, Rusev is still looking like less of a midcarder.
Winner: Rusev

Stephen Amell & Neville vs. Stardust & King Barrett
There is a wrestler/celebrity face team vs. a heel/heel jobber team. What's strange is that there is excitement and optimism given that Amell is actually a fan. This match seems like the undoing of the Stardust persona. We fully expect he will melt down after the match and attack Barrett. Not sure if this will somehow make Barrett a face, but he already gets beaten by everyone anyway
Winners: Stephen Amell & Neville

Elimination Tag Team Match: Team PCB vs. Team Bella vs. Team B.A.D.
Nikki Bella actually had to job this past Monday. This means she'll get her win back to even things out. We think that PCB will be eliminated first so that B.A.D. member Sasha Banks will be presented as fighting hard despite giving almost everything the night before. We truly hope this match builds up to Nikki actually defending her belt, and losing it BEFORE reaching AJ Lee's record. We get it, you guys hate her husband.
Winners: Team Bella

Cesaro vs. Kevin Owens
One's a former ROH star, the other pisses off management because they have to push them. Cesaro has been hot lately given large sections of the arena will have signs for him. Owens will be giving everything to validate himself after a big loss last night, but we think that despite how much Dunn wants to undercut NXT, that the grueling ladder match will take too much out of Owens for him to win.
Winner: Cesaro

Randy Orton  vs. Sheamus
We thought we are predicting Summerslam 2015. Regardless, this is an easy one for us. Sheamus has the Money in the Bank contract, which means for a while, he'll be on his back more often than a ring rat in 1988. While Sheamus will use the case successfully at some point, he will be losing. A lot.
Winner: Randy Orton

Roman Reigns & Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt & Luke Harper
WWE has a hot young face in a big match, so naturally he will turn later. That being said, we think that this will be the match to end Reigns' feud with Wyatt for a new feud with Ambrose. We just need to have the friendship presented a little bit more before the break.
Winners: Roman Reigns & Dean Ambrose

WWE World Heavyweight Championship/WWE United States Championship: WWE Champion Seth Rollins vs. US Champion John Cena
We have another easy pick based on one thing: Cena's shirt. They need to sell a s---load of 15X shirts before they can make any 16X shirts. We imagine that Rollins will have to be presented as needing help, at least until Summerslam host Jon Stewart bans whoever The Authority brings in to help. Then Rollins will need a ref bump, a hit with the Championship, AND a low-blow to win. Setting up for a rematch next month.
Winner: Seth Rollins

Brock Lesnar vs. The Undertaker
We are not here to discuss whether a year and a half ago should've happened, nor are we here to discuss what may happen next year. We are here to discuss what we think will happen here. There are rumors that WWE will try to turn Taker. We can tell you if they try that, it will be as big a failure as the last two Royal Rumbles. We think that either Kane will try to help, leaving Taker refusing the help, or Sting (Or Heath Slater as Sting) will prevent another shot to the groin by Taker. This will give Taker someone to battle until he can get his win back at WrestleMania. Though we think there may still be a possibility Taker becomes the 1 in 4-1 (Kurt Who?).
Winner: Brock Lesnar

Well those are our predictions for Summerslam. We shall see how they hold up. Hope you either enjoy Summerslam, or don't shame it too much.

Saturday, August 22, 2015

NXT TakeOver Brooklyn Review 8/22/2015

Tonight is TakeOver. So you know that the booking team for the main roster is going to be pissed tomorrow. We shall see the action as it unfolds, and hope the next few days matches.

Triple-H stands in the middle of the ring, and has to hide the orgasm he has. He announces tht in December, NXT visits the U.K. You guys over there better get tickets.

Tyler Breeze vs. Jushin “Thunder” Liger starts the night off right. Breeze has a fashion entrance fit for him. They tie-up before Liger gets out. Breeze knocks him down, and shows off in the corner. After they lock-up again, Liger drop toe holds him and shows off himself. Liger starts stretching Breeze with a Romero special, then allows Breeze to get up, so Liger Monkey flips him. Liger mocks Breexe by grabbing Breeze’s phone. This results in a supermodel kick for two. Breeze works over Liger in the corner before snapmaring him. Breeze then uses a front facelock, followed by a modified backstabber. He uses a kneedrop, followed by another front facelock. Liger manages to get out, and get a breather. He is able to use a rolling kick in the corner, followed by a backbreaker. When Liger goes to fly, Breeze uses a boot to counter, and go for a quick two count. Breeze then uses a series of punches and kicks, but Liger manages to get out with a palm strike. Liger hits a Ligerbomb to win his first WWE match. A stellar start to the show.

A quick show of Scott Hall, Kevin Nash, and Sean Waltman blends into a shot of Bayley preparing for her match tonight.

A Nia Jax video lets us know she disarms. Becky Lynch does not approve.

NXT Tag Team Champions Blake and Murphy vs. The Vaudevillains. Alexa Bliss calls them pathetic for not having back-up, but the gear of the faces signals that Blue Pants brings herself down to help. Chants of “Blue Pants City” accompanies Simon Gotch winning the feeling out against Blake. This brings in Aiden English to stretch the arm. Blake powers up to tag in Murphy. Though Murphy finds Aiden’s rally to be too much. It takes Blake stopping an aerial maneuver. Blake tags in, and puts Aiden in a chinlock. Blake then stomps away in the corner before tagging in Murphy. Murphy uses elbows before using another lock-up to send Aiden to the corner. After Blake tags in, he’s able to keep Aiden from making the tag. Murphy prevents a tag, and helps Blake hit a double neckbreaker to get two. Another attempt at a double team move is blocked, and Gotch tags in. Gotch uses forearms, and a miscommunication to take advantage. When the Vaudevillains triy to get the win, Blake blocks, but Gotch is still able to double powerbomb them. When Alexa tries to get involved, Blue Pants pursues her into the ring, and they brawl to the outside. Murphy tries to use the tights, but Gotch kicks out, and the Vaudevillains hit the whirly dervish to win the match. A great blow-off for an interesting feud.

An ad for Summerslam: We’re Not Trying to Build to WrestleMania.

We see NXT Champion Finn Balor riding with Neville, and hanging with Cesaro. Guessing the eWo will attack Kevin Owens.

Rick Ruben looks like bearded Trevor Philips.

Tye Dillinger vs. Apollo Crews. Dillinger shows off a bit before Crews outpowers him, and mocks him. Tweet of the night goes to @ed_wilsonw: I knew Bobby Lashley would be back some day, dreams do come true. After exchanging chinlocks, Crews avoids a sunset flip, but Dillinger stays on him. Dillinger goes for a superkick, but Crews gives a kick of his own. After a splash in the corner, Crews clothesline’s Dillinger, Military presses him, and uses a standing moonsault to win the match. A birthday win in his first match on WWE TV.

NXT General Manager William Regal announces a tag team series named in honor of Dusty Rhodes, then a large donation to Connor’s Cure is mentioned. Don’t overdo it guys.

After showing us the remaining Tough Enough… People, we see a video for the Samoa Joe vs. Baron Corbin feud. After a feeling out, Joe goes for Baron’s arm. Before Joe locks in the Coquina clutch, Baron escapes the ring. A quick brawl sends Baron back out. Before Joe flies out of the ring, Baron uses a forarm to bring Joe down. After stomping on Joe in the corner, Corbin starts to use power before getting countered into several holds by Joe. But once power is used by Corbin, the fight goes outside. Joe trips Baron off the apron, and throws him into the railing. Once things return to the ring, Baron uses a heel hook. Joe barely reaches the rope. Once Joe gets up, Corbin uses a black hole slam for only two. After a kick by Corbin, Joe uses a desperation enziguri. Joe relies on punches before Corbin makes it a yay/boo. Joe gets Baron up on the turnbuckle, but Corbin kicks his way up and suplexes Joe. Baron goes for the end of days, but Joe reverses out to try a Coquina clutch. After Baron gets out of that attempt, Joe finally locks it in to win by ref stop.

We see Ric Flair, Sgt. Slaughter, Kanna, Naomi, and Tamina Snuka in attendance.

Stephanie McMahon walks out to once again take credit that at most Triple-H gets to: Making women’s wrestling matter again.

A video for NXT Women’s Champion Sasha Banks vs. Bayley brings us to the next match. Bayley walks down wearing a polka dotted hairband for Dusty. Sasha rides out in a black Cadillac. You know what happened to the last one. Sasha starts by slapping Bayley, this leads to a brawl, and then Bayley elbowing Sasha. Sasha battles out, and rams Bayley into the buckle. Bayley gets a surge of EC3’s God mode, and uses several quick moves to get Sasha in a tree of woe, into an elbow. Sasha needs to get out of the ring. After Bayley kicks her outside, they get back in and battle around the ringpost. When Bayley goes to go off the top, Sasha knocks her knee out from under her. Sasha uses an elbow to the back, and goes for a pin, but only gets two. Sasha then uses a straitjacket to keep Bayley on the ground. Bayley powers out, but is sent into the buckle. Sasha goes to elbow Bayley, but Bayley battles out. Bayley’s fight is brief, as Sasha uses her knees from the top rope. Sasha asks if Bayley thinks she’s better than Sasha. This results in a kick by Bayley, and a flurry of punches. Sasha sends Bayley to the apron, and smashes her arm against the rope. Sasha removes the brace on Bayley’s hand. Sasha smashes the hand against the steps, and stomps on it. Sasha wedges it in the steps, and kicks the steps. Despite this, the referee goes to ask Bayley if she wants to continue. This allows Sasha to plancha onto Bayley. Once the match returns to the ring, Sasha goes to fly off the top. Bayley sends her outside. Once Sasha returns, a yay/boo begins. Bayley sends Sasha off the ropes, and into a double axehandle. Bayley then suplexes Sasha into the corner. Bayley tries for Bayley-to-belly, but Sasha reverses into the Back statement. Bayley reverses into a crossface. Sasha reaches the ropes. Once both are up, Bayley hits Bayley-to-belly to get two. Bayley sets up Sasha for a super Bayley-to-belly, but Sasha blocks the attempt. Bayley goes up again, but Sasha knocks her off. Sasha uses double knees to get two. Sasha sets Bayley up on the buckle, but Bayley knocks her down. Sasha tries again, but Bayley uses a reverse Frankensteiner, then a Bayley-to-belly to win. Bayley is congratulated by Charlotte, and Becky. This leads to a group hug with four backstage friends. Triple-H no doubt chuckles with Scott, Kev, and Waltman.

An ad for WWE World Heavyweight Champion Seth Rollins vs. WWE United States Champion John Cena tomorrow night. Will it top tonight? It better try.

Rollins and Zahra Schreiber. 2015’s most talked about wrestling couple. Don’t tell Leighla Schultz.

A video for the main event shows fans what to expect between Balor and Owens in the ladder match. Owens swears in his entrance, Balor tops his last Demon entrance. ROH has Owens, NJPW has Balor, CZW has referee Drake Wuertz. We see a “Face f--- me Finn” sign. Interesting. Both men stare at the belt before Owens pushes Balor. Balor responds by striking with elbows and a dropkick. After a few quick moves, Owens uses a senton. Owens then stomps on Balor, before setting him up on the rope. Owens then pulls him off, and goes for a powerbomb before Balor reverses and uses a double stomp. Owens goes outside to collect his thoughts. When Balor goes to stop him, Owens rams him into the corner, then cannonballs him. When Owens gets Balor up, we have a yay/boo while fans yell for Sami Zayn. Balor is able to hit a sling blade, but Owens still rolls outside. They brawl over the ladder, but Owens traps him in between the ring and the ladder. Owens acts like he’s going to run at Balor, but then just hits him. After this, they brawl near the commentary table before fighting among fans. Balor is sent into the rail before Owens goes to powerbomb Balor. Balor reverses with a “BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK BODY DROP”! They braw’ some more along the table before Owens removes the top of the table. Owens then looks under the ring for a ladder. Balor kicks the ladder, sending it down onto Balor in the process. Balor gets in the ring to get to the gold, but Owens pulls the ladder. Balor responds by flying over the top at Owens. Balor then goes up the ladder before Owens stops him. Owens sends Balor into the ladder before sending him outside. Once Owens sets up the ladder, Balor hurries back inside, leading to Owens assaulting Balor with the ladder. This is referred to as “Using a weapon as a ladder”. Owens lifts up Balor, and bodyslams him onto the ladder. Owens then sentons Balor before mocking Balor’s entrance. Balor tries to mount offense, but Owens again goes for a powerbomb. This leads to “BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK BODY DROP”! number two in this match. Balor climbs the ladder to grab, but Owens brings him down and sends him into the second ladder. When Owens goes to cannonball, Balor rolls out of the way. Balor hits the coup de grace, and begins to ascend. Owens again blocks. Turning it into a powerbomb. Owens recovers first, and positions the ladder to scale. Balor scurries up, and topples the ladder. Balor attemps a coup de grace outside, but Owens uses a pop-up powerbomb against the apron. Owens gets is to grab the gold, but Balor brings the ladder down. Owens kicks him on the way down, and sets the ladder back up. Owens yells for Balor to “Stay down” before wedging the other ladder in the corner. Both men make their way up before Owens attempts an exploder suplex on the ladder. Balor sends him down on the corner ladder, and grabs for it. Owens tries to stop him, but is knocked down. Balor then hits the coup de grace off the ladder. Balor then ascends, and wins the match. A brutal war to tell Summerslam to follow that big match.

Well that is the last NXT program we are going to review for a while. After all, there is a sinking ship we need to talk about. Once that one is off it’s network, we are likely going to return to NXT. But until then, it’s been quite a ride. 

Thursday, August 20, 2015

NXT Review 8/19/2015

A few more days until we see Takeover: Summerslam be dammed. We have to first go home. We shall discuss the events of tonight’s NXT instead of shaming RAW for how it ended the promotion.

A recap of NXT Champion Finn Balor defeating Marcus Louis, only to be attacked by Kevin Owens afterward, and Bayley defeating Becky Lynch to become #1 contender against NXT Women’s Champion Sasha Banks. Really sets the stage for both tonight, and Saturday.

NXT General Manager William Regal starts the show with the contract signing with Bayley and Sasha. Bayley thanks Regal, and the fans before talking about this as the biggest match of her life. She will not let the opportunity slip through her fingers, and she feels she will win. For Sasha’s turn, she says there’s a reason TakeOver will be in Brooklyn, and that she’s not ratchet. Sasha says that Bayley’s good, but she’s not Sasha. Dueling chants of “Bayley’s better” “No she’s not” are followed by Sasha saying she’s the best in NXT. After all the signatures, Bayley says she knows how contract signings work, and she’s ready to fight right now. Sasha asks if Bayley thinks Sasha is scared of her, and adds that Bayley’s not on the main shows because she’s a loser. Sasha says Bayley’s not worth it. Bayley charges at Sasha up the ramp for their own “I WILL KILL YOU”! “YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TO”! With a few minutes, both women, mainly Sasha, sold this women’s match better than the supposed revolution angle has.

An ad for TakeOver shows the 2 matches to Summerslam’s 1.

Apollo Crews talks about how he has come to NXT to be the best. This features footage of him training. He says fans should expect greatness. He needs to be a Triple-H guy.

Tyler Breeze walks out with a Jushin “Thunder” Liger mask. We see his opponent has Ryzin on his gear, so Triple-H wants him dead. Breeze uses an armdrag, then tries showing off before getting rolled up for only two. Breeze uses a supermodel kick to get the win. He then uses the mask like the Beautiful People did bags. Breeze then says he’s not impressed with Liger before using a beauty shot on Ryzin, and taking the mask back off, and steps on it walking up the ramp.

Tonight, Owens delivers a final declaration.

An ad for Summerslam: The Revenge of the Taker

The Hype Bros, Enzo and Big Cass vs. several unnamed wrestlers. Jesse Sorenson is the opposing team’s captain. Enzo and Big Cass do their thing on the microphone before the match. Mojo Rawley starts by throwing Jesse around, before tagging in Zack Ryder. Ryder uses his agility to get several shots in before tagging Enzo. Jesse tags out. Leading to Enzo facing a guy that looks like Jeff Hardy stole Glacier’s gear, and a guy wearing rubber tights. Enzo gets Big Cass in. Big Cass almost gets the win before Jesse makes the save. Jesse gets taken out by the Hype Bros, leaving Big Cass to get the win. Good for what it was, but we hope Jesse gets a look. The winners of this match take on Dash Wilder, Scott Dawson, Jason Jordan, and Chad Gable next week. The heels tell Devin Taylor that they intend to win next week against the faces.

NXT merchandise. Wrestling merchandise that is the least embarrassing of any WWE merchandise.

Samoa Joe vs. Steve Cutler. Cutler strikes first with punches, but the man from The Nation of Violence, California uses an STO, and a Coquina clutch to win quickly. As Joe goes to the back, Baron Corbin attacks Joe on the ramp, and brawls with him near the old RAW commentary table before bringing the fight to the ring. Corbin uses his end of days to have what is essentially his longest match in months.

An ad for Tough Enough: Please Watch.

Bull Dempsey has shown he I no longer a comedy character. Next week, he’s in action.

NXT Tag Team Champions Blake and Murphy vs. Angelo and Sawyer Fulton. Blake starts off against Dawkins with a quick feeling out. Dawkins takes Blake down, and uses several quick moves before hitting a sunset flip for two. Blake rolls out of the way of the offense, and uses a desperation offensive move leading to Murphy and Fulton tagging in. Fulton uses a spinning gutwrench suplex before trying to run at Murphy. This leads to the suplex into a frog splash pin. The Vaudevillains walk out to disclose they have a plan to counteract Alexa Bliss. She slaps them several times before we don’t hear who will finally kill her.

An ad for WWE2K16 has Dean Ambrose vs. Arnold Schwarzenegger. One’s been forged in a brutal, scary place. The other is a Terminator.

A Summerslam ad. We respect that Cena wrestled through what he did, but other wrestlers have suffered worse injuries, and have been treated like garbage.

Next week sees Eva Marie vs. Carmella, and Becky vs. Charlotte vs. Dana Brooke vs. Emma. Guess which match we are wanting to watch.

Owens walks out with a ladder, ready to talk about his match this Saturday. Owens looks at the ladder before getting heel heat for reminding fans where the show takes place. Owens says the fans are hypocrites for rooting for Owens until he injures Sami Zayn. He calls the fans the John Cena of wrestling fans because they’re not genuine. Better than being the Hulk Hogan of fans. Owens says he’s the reason TakeOver is sold out, and that the fans are ungrateful. He says he’ll feel better beating Balor. Owens says Balor needs to understand that the win in Japan was a fluke, and that Balor is wrestling a different Owens. Owens needs to win to stick it to the fans, and prove he’s better than Balor. As Owens ascends the ladder, he says Balor will be on the ground getting medical attention while Owens grabs the gold. The lights go out as if Owens challenged the streak. When they go red, Balor’s not on the stage, he’s in the ring staring at Owens. A fast brawl follows between Owens and Balor. Balor grabs the ladder and goes to hit Owens, but Owens rolls out of the ring. Balor tells Owens he won’t just win, he will kick Owens’ ass and shut his mouth. Balor has the attention of everyone.

While the wrestling itself was light, the main feuds basically have been built nicely. TakeOver has always had the image of being better than WWE PPVs, but this week has made sure TakeOver has set the standards high.

Once again, TakeOver will be our last NXT review for basically the next month. A lot of things outside of our internet existence has made it to where we need to streamline what shows we talk about. And we think it is a good idea to talk about the last month of Impact before we can resume NXT. We do have a lot to do until then. One more Bad PPV Summer to go, and who we think will be the winners of Summerslam. But rest assured, TakeOver will get a review. Until then, Have a good one.

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Impact Review 8/19/2015

For us, a true turning point was when someone decided Hulk Hogan was needed. But to tonight will be interesting enough.

A recap of last week’s TNA vs. GFW show highlights the matches, but not much of the brewing angle.

The Jarretts start the show off. Jeff says that before he talks about tonight, he want to say GFW woke up the wrestling world. Most of it at least. He adds that TNA KOTM Champion PJ Black faces TNA World Heavyweight Champion Ethan Carter III. This brings out EC3, who says he’s not wrestling tonight. Karen interrupts, and reminds EC3 that Jeff still owns part of the promotion, and accuses EC3 of assaulting Bully Ray and Drew Galloway. EC3 makes a CSI reference, and says they have no evidence. Jeff says he will talk to Dixie about stripping him if he doesn’t defend. Yep, “There here”.

Drew is asked who assaulted him. He suspects Eli Drake. Everyone wishes.

Bram, on multi-year contract 3,985, vs. Mr. Anderson. We’re told we need to explain the rules. Yep, it’s one of THOSE matches. The best of Jeff Hardy will have no Sting matches. As Mr. Anderson assaults Bram, it’s basically a microphone on a pole match. Mr. Anderson sends himself and Bram through a table with a Lambeau Leap. Anderson gets the ladder to get the mic, but Bram sends him down. Bram sets up the ladder next. Anderson pulls him down, but Bram fends him off. Again, Anderson stops him and gets beaten up. After a DDT, Bram has the chance, but climbs down and beats him some more. He then gets more chairs than a Terry Funk request. Bram tries to finish him, but Anderson gets out and elbows him. When Anderson goes to climb, he is powerbombed into the chairs. Bram gets the mic, and goes to hit Anderson, but Anderson mic checks him into a chair. Anderson then hits Bram almost as many times as he has multi-year contracts. After Mr. Anderson does his thing, he hits Bram with the mic one more time, then pins him. Good match, but the stipulation is nothing great.

Bobby Roode stops Jarrett to demand some sort of apology for last week, but doesn’t get it. Fans want one too.

EC3 says he does not deserve to be stripped. Every fan out there agrees with him.

James Storm says the Revolution is a family, and that Abyss and Manik have devoted themselves, and he rewards them. Storm then addresses Mahabali Shera better come out. Shera walks out while being promised by Storm he will not be hurt. Storm says he was hard on him to test him, and that Shera gets another shot at joining the group. Our Indian TV deal says no. Co-Tweet of the night goes to @EthanCarterTNA: slander man. Shera says Storm slapped him around like trash, and that he’s not trash, he’s a man. He then starts dancing like Rusev will. Shera tries getting Manik to join in, but nothing. Storm says he’s a joke. Shera says he loves to fight, and attacks Storm before Abyss stops him. Manik reluctantly splashes Shera. Storm then last calls him and tells him “Sooner or later, I’m gonna cut you down”. Co-Tweet of the night goes to @WheelerDeeler: Shera will Defeat the Cult Leader who's actually killed someone with the Power of Dance... FUCK THIS COMPANY... This will be one weird feud.

Jeremy Borash introduces Black, who says EC3 should do the right thing before Eric Young, angered by being thrown out of Nexus, says he’s going to take.

Gail Kim vs. Jade and Marti Bell in a cage. After stalling a bit, Gail spams rolling before taking both Dollhouse members down. The numbers quickly catch up, as they use several double team moves, including sending Gail into the corner into break. Back from break, and Jade saves Marti from tapping by armbar. Jade sends Gail into the cage, but gets only two. As both Dollhouse members try to climb out, Gail recovers and hurricanranas Jade. After a brief rally against Marti, Jade gets her feet under her again, and the team assault resumes. Gail sends them off before splashing them off the cage. Gail then destroys them one at a time before taking Jade down for a two. Gail reverses a double suplex into a DDT. As Gail climbs, she decides to return and attack them some more. Despite hem rallying, Gail uses Eat Defeat to pin Marti. Decent match, but this angle is sadly not over.

A recap of EC3 being told to defend shows Dixie agreeing that EC3 has to defend. He’s told to make history tonight.

We’re doing a World Cup. Better be able to drink out of it.

Gail’s looking for Taryn Terrell while Matt Hardy says he and EC3 are not done.

Drake, dressed like a Demolition member, says he may have attacked Drew. When Drew gets in the ring, Drake assaults him before Drew kicks him in the crotch. The brawl heads outside, where Drew goes to splash off the rail, but Drake rolls out of the way, and uses a chair to assault Drew’s ribs. When things return to the ring, Drake chinlock’s Drew, but Drew gets out and walks into a powerslam. Drake sends Drew outside and clotheslines him. Once again, a brief brawl before returning to the ring. Drew uses a clothesline to regain the advantage. Drew brings in a chair, but Drake kicks the rope and DDT’s Drew on it. Drake wedges the chair in the corner, and Drew reverses an Irish whip, sending Drake into the chair. Drew then goes for a tale under the ring. As Drew is heading into the ring, Drake baseball slides Drew, then brings the table and a crutch into the ring. Drew uses a suplex, and sets up the table. Drake low-blows him, and uses the crutch. Drake sets up another table, and sets Drew up on it. Drew revovers, and boots Drake from the top. Drew emerald fusions Drake through the table to get the win. Basically, a great match in a meh feud.

Stone Cold Velvet Sky taunts Taryn, who is scared of one person. And it’s not even Taker or Lesnar or Haku. Gail sneaks up, and they get Taryn ready to join the Submission Sorority.

Young then starts yelling how the TNA Championship goes through him before Chris Melendez interrupts. Melendez says he won’t accept being defeated. He wants “One. Mire. Match”, but Young refuses. Then Young makes this the feud RD Reynolds writes about for his books last chapter: Young wants the leg to be on the line. FIRE RUSS… BILLY! Melendez accepts. Young goes for a piledriver, but Melendez gets out of it. This feud makes us want to drink more.

Jarrett wants to talk to Dixie about a deal of some sort. Even Sting is yelling at the TV.

Matt vs. Tyrus starts with Matt trying to overcome the power, but after a brutal series of moves, Matt rolls out of the ring. Tyrus follows, and elbows Matt before going to splash him on the ringpost, but Matt rolls out of the way. After a quick brawl with Tyrus, Matt hits two twist of fates for a win. Afterwards, EC3 hits Matt with the TNA Championship belt. EC3 says the match with Black is on.

EC3 attacks Black quickly, but Black is able to use his high-flying offense to get EC3 down outside. As EC3 is sent back inside, Black goes to fly again, but EC3 dropkick’s him to take advantage. After a “BAAAAAAAAAACK BODY DROP!”, EC3 keeps Black grounded with a chinlock. After Black breaks out, EC3 brings him down with an elbow. Black sees an opening to fly, and uses it to hit several moves before being caught on the top turnbuckle with a superplex. EC3 goes to capitalize, but Black uses a kick to the head, followed by a moonsault to get two. When Black goes for more flying offense, he gets powerbombed by EC3, who then goes for the 1%er. Black reverses into a powerbomb to get two. A yay/boo has Black use several kicks to be close to a win, but EC3 kicks out of a springboard 450. When Black goes for a 450, he is forced down, and hit in the 1%er to win. Great match from guys that WWE missed out on.

Jarrett angles to become the new permanent authority figure in TNA. Dixie only falls for this several times before doing so again.

Basically, tonight’s a broadcast where the parts that needed improvement got it, but the main angle is still too easy to predict. Those that read the spoilers know the long road ahead, but if you don’t, we will fly down this strange bunch of roads together. Until then, have a good week.