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Thursday, February 16, 2017

Impact-Review 2/16/2017

Thoughts out to the loved ones of Chavo Guerrero Sr. And Nicole Bass.
Fight to be the best, or the Raw Deal awaits.
Before TNA World Tag Team Champions The Hardys defend, we see 2 recaps. One see Eddie Edwards betrayed. After this, The Decay battle Moose and Brandi Rhodes. The match begins with TNA Knockout Champion Rosemary distracts Moose, but it doesn’t help until they get Moose outside. This brings Crazzy Steve dominating with holds & chops, but Moose brings himself back up until Abyss begins to distract him. Despite this, Moose sends Steve outside, and tags in Brandi, who dominates Rosemary off the top. She brings Moose back in, who gets the pin over Steve.
Edwards does not stop to say barely anything, but Davey Richards is his target.
Moose tells Brandi she’s being Mini-Moose. A) That name is familiar. B) He may want to get with her.
Edwards says that what happened was his biggest low-point. Angelina Love says Davey is not fighting, and asks where Eddie was when Davey was injured. She then introduces Davey. The two former partners argue & Davey says he will destroy the name they built before they brawl. When it’s over, Edwards demands a street fight to be held tonight.
Last night, Braxton Sutter was at the bachelor party held by Mike Bennett. The guys there look about what you’d expect of us.
The Hardys are in the arena out in Mexico. Boy, the referee will go underground.
Next week Sutter marries Laurel Van Ness. But Allie’s stuff last night doesn’t appease many.
Eddie Kingston wrestles Jesse Godderz. Jesse is dominated early on with strikes, but Jesse brings his surprising speed to battle out. It doesn’t last long, as he is suplexed, and is sent into the middle-rope. Jesse takes advantage of a miss to break out, using the blockbuster to try to pin. When Kingston goes outside, he is grabbed, but hangs Jesse on the rope, and hits an STO to try a pin of his own. Jesse battles out and tries an Adonis Lock. After a few more moves, Jesse gets the pin, but has to run after the arena blacks out.
Sutter doesn’t want what’s implied to be drugs, and wants to leave, but Bennett refuses to let him leave. One of Bennett’s buddies climbs a ladder, brings himself on the possible drug guy. Well, it’s not the 1st time we had guys wrestle wasted.
Tyrus will host Fact of Life this week. Guessing Greg Gutfeld won’t join him.
Allie’s party pisses them off. Should’ve had drinking.
Tyrus introduces Eli Drake, who despite having an arm in a sling, demands Tyrus get off the table. Drake  becoming like The Rock with his mockery of Tyrus’ weight, and ends up with Tyrus hand on his throat. Both will wrestle next week.
The Hardys meet Konnan, who’s happy to know they’re used to not wanting money.
Laurel gets some freaky looking present. It’s from us.
The Hardys battle Psicosis and Super-Crazy to be Tag Team Champions in Mexico too. Basically, it’s in clips as Vanguard 1 interacts with some femininas. Fun action as we see the win of The Hardy’s. Now, they’ve teleported to their home. Next week sees them battle in Mid-Atlantic action.
Brooke wants Sienna next. She may be drunk with us though after what we think will happen.
Brooke vs. Sienna starts with the speed of Brooke and the power of Sienna keeping it even-handed, with each one exchanging moves like a game. Once Sienna uses Brooke’s arm to apply a sleeper-like attack. Sienna then uses her tape to resume the choke, then stomps away. Brooke still kicks out as we get the indication Sienna possibly becoming her own entity will happen. Brooke rolls out of the way, leading to Sienna having to stop before plowing into Maria. As Brooke gets out of the AK-47, she uses the roll-up to win. Seems like it was on RAW.
Sutter wants to leave while it’s Bennett’s friend bringing an altered DVD of Bad Teacher, then Bennett’s idea of the stripper is the bust. Didn’t think there would end up a time where that DVD would work nicely. Still better than the recent party we went to.
Don West is selling more great stuff. Or stuff is being sold by great Don.
Drake promises to beat Tyrus next week as he intrudes on the cameraman’s personal space.
TNA World Heavyweight Champion Bobby Lashley is out here. As Lashley takes being TNA Champion with arrogance, he says he loves fighting, battling, & hurting people. This brings out Josh Barnett, who everyone suspects will soon be TNA Champion. We’re not joking. Barnett doubts Lashley’s drive to be TNA Champion. Lashley warns him not to do this as he shakes hands. Lashley says in MMA, there are going to be rules to protect Barnett, but Barnett tries to lock the arm of Lashley. This results in both deciding to wrestle.
Sutter leaves after everyone’s plastered, but not before placing Bennett’s phone next to him after sending out a phone-call on it. Even the happily married & faithful need to put a passcode on.
Edwards is here for the bout. This leads to Angelina speaking to distract, leading to Davey attacking from behind. Davey tries to throw Edwards into the rail, but he’s reversed & chopped. Edwards goes to again, but Davey gets out of the way. Davey attacks the arm that was sent into the ring-post going intobreak. Back from break, Davey hit’s Eddie’s hand with the chair. Davey then stomps on Eddie in the corner. Davey’s stopping to taunt brings the opening to Eddie, who sends Davey outside & flies at him. Edwards throws him back inside and brings the chair back in, but this brings the chair of Angelina to again distract. Now Davey strikes. Davey goes again, but Elisha Edwards makes the save, but is beaten up as Angelina handcuffs her to the bottom rope. As Angelina goes to use the weapon, Edwards throws himself over his wife as a shield. Davey then grabs it and slugs away. Angelina puts the second weapon on Edwards, which Davey uses to con-chair-to. Then she low-blows referee Earl Hebner. The match is officially a no-contest, though Angelina begins to count as a symbol.
Next week’s match with the Hardys is advertised. A bit much after that. Oh well.
Not a bad week, though it is again slower than Nick Patrick’s 3-count.

Thursday, February 9, 2017

Impact Review 2/9/2017

Many are snowed in, which means those watching are freezing in hell. Arnold has not steered us wrong.
First, the bouts of last week, but this week starts after the DCC enter in their gear. James Storm talks about having a mission, and they will hurt whoever gets in the way. Eli Drake enters. Tyrus says they’ll wrestle the three on them, despite what Drake is implying. Tyrus mock the three of them until a brawl breaks out. Tyrus gets the better of Eddie Kingston until Storm gives the low-blow going into break. Back from break, Tyrus beats up Kingston on a 3-on-2 match. Bringing in Drake off the tag, Drake leave an opening to have Bram tag in. Before Bram takes things his way, Drake uses a powerslam and punches. A suplex by Drake gets him two, so he brawls before tagging Tyrus into the match again. Tyrus and Drake use a distraction to use a team assault on Bram. Drake tries for an elbow, but Bram rolls out of the way and tags in Storm, who tries the last call, but Drake falls back to tag in Tyrus. Storm tries to get Tyrus to dance, but gets elbowed. Drake inexplicably walks away. Tyrus holds his own until the last call to end the match.
We see Bobby Lashley’s win in July to unify both the TNA World Heavyweight & X-Division Championships to hype a final fight.
Brandi Rhodes intends to call out TNA Knockout Champion Rosemary. This will be a beautiful disaster.
Braxton Sutter and Allie meet over water before Maria bellows to her to bring her coffee and now whiskey coffee, that’s ours. Then she tells Sutter to propose to Laurel Van Ness.
Brandi calls Rosemary vile, and wants to set things straight. After a standard-CAW promo, then The Decay emerge with Rosemary licking the belt. Rosemary adds Brandi should’ve tasted her sickness. This is still a family show. But then Rosemary uses the choke until Moose destroys both of the men in the group.
Aron Rex again shows wrestling should be as accepting as wrestling fans.
Don West is better than half the commentators.
Recap of Moose saving Brandi has Moose threatening The Decay before Brandi challenges Rosemary to wrestle her & Not-Cody.
Rex appears to set the LGBT image back 50 years. We hear this is supposed to be the real him. The real him will be happy to get a Gooker Award nomination. He still has Rockstar Spud proceed to sing before Robbie E stops this. Robbie E looks like he stole Johnny Mundo’s gear, but Rex takes over early on, but each time he’s hit. There is a hysterical scream. The battle heads outside, where Spud attacks and sends Robbie E back into the ring. A missed knee by Rex sees Robbie E piece together a series of moves before Rex grabs Spud. Robbie E goes to hit Spud, but is hit with Rex’s ring hand to end the match. This gimmick won’t die fast enough.
Next is TNA World Tag Champion Broken Matt Hardy assuring both Reby and “Brother Nero” Matt Hardy that the Seven Deities would not steer him wrong. That means he’ll be defeating Bray Wyatt at Summerslam.
We see Eddie Edwards winning the belt in October, then Edwards is seen with his wife, Davey Richards, and Angelina Love-Richards. Try to guess who will be on his side in the ending.
Mike Bennett tries to calm Sutter about this stuff with Laurel. Trust us, she’s better with us.
The Hardys are next up. Matt says he’s gotten broken pieces of his expedition, but now it’s clear after Vanguard 1 was updated for teleportation. Basically, this is too messed up not to be the absurdist hit of wrestling. Matt talks about winning different Tag Team Championships. Jeff asks Matt to simplify it. This leads to Matt saying they will touch Vanguard 1 teleport them. Possibly to ROH to battle The Young Bucks, or to “MeekMahan”. Soon. Then, they teleport to Tijuana. This is getting so wonderfully messed up, WWE will try to get another Gooker Award-nomination.
Don again. Nice.
Finding the battle involving Edwards and Lashley to be near.
TNA-Impact-Grand Champion Drew Galloway defends against Mahabali Shera, who shows he’s improved a little bit, but Drew won’t go so easy, even going to fly, but he’s thrown off the top. Shera goes to follow, but Drew sends him down outside. Drew begins to chop, and sends him on the rail. Once inside, Shera uses some bland clotheslines and a sky-high, though Drew’s saved by the bell. Once the seconds begins, Drew hits like he was injected with pure adrenaline. He throws Shera around. Shera tries, but is hit with the Claymore, and future shock to end the match.
Laurel wants lights. Trying to not say red ones. Sutter does the person misinterprets what he’s saying.
Gregory Shane Helms introduces TNA X-Division Champion Trevor Lee. He says, basically, that he’s the best of the division, and his team. But then Helms takes Andrew Everett to task for not making the most of his opportunities. Everett says he’s made sacrifices for the team, but they didn’t need Helms. This sees him beaten up by Helms & Lee.
Lashley and Edwards talk about Lashley’s brutal offense. Edwards says he will overcome this, and Lashley boasts he will retain.
The Hardys interact with fans before an ad for next week’s bout with Psicosis & Super-Crazy.
Lashley and Edwards main event. Lashley starts with a slight advantage, and goes to harass Mrs. Edwards, but Edwards flies out and brawls while chopping brutally. One back inside, Lashley delivers a spinebuster going into break. Back from break, after Lashley bashes the head of Edwards, he goes for a pin, but nothing. Lashley then stops away as we notice Davey’s nowhere. Edwards uses a desperation move before chopping both in & out of the corner. When Edwards goes to fly, he is set up for a powerbomb, but Edwards sends them both outside. Then Edwards then gets back in & flies. Bashing with the elbow, Edwards is then caught, and hit with the dominator. Lashley then looks to Mr. Edwards, and blows one kiss before taking the belt. Davey appears to grab it, leading to the blue thunder bomb by Edwards, But once again the battle goes outside. Edwards goes to the well one too many times, as he is suplexed. Once back inside, Edwards ducks the spear, and hits the Boston knee party. This sees the turn by Davey, who pulls referee Brian Hebner out of the ring as Angelina hits Mrs. Edwards. Lashley hits the spear to end the match. Afterwards, Angelina holds Mrs. Edwards while Davey attacks Eddie, who at one point asks what is wrong with Davey. This sees Davey use his belt to choke Edwards to end the show.
The turn everyone anticipated happened. The promos won’t do well, though the matches should be nice.

Thursday, February 2, 2017

Impact Review 2/2/2016

Finally back. We’re Back. Now let's going so Bill Murray will get to go home were he belongs.
We see the men with briefcases, then the recap of Bobby Lashley regaining the TNA World Heavyweight Championship, then TNA World Tag Team Champions The Hardys arrive. First thing brings Broken Matt Hardy talking about the Seven Deities ordering them to get more gold. Matt talks about trying to get more Tag Team belts, and they must go to other teams. Then, “Brother Nero” Jeff Hardy talks about making his challenge at Lashley to be Champion. Out next Is Lashley, who says he doesn’t think The Hardys are stupid, and he’s up for anything they throw at him. Jeff says he doesn’t want an excuse. Lashley then says he has no problem defending now. Finding that both Lashley, & The Hardys are not to be challenged for their belts now tonight. Lashley uses a suplex, and aims for a spear, but Jeff gets out of the way, and takes things his way. Sending the bout outside, and Lashley takes brutality pretty well as he is smashed against the side of the ring & the rail. Jeff then hits a twist of fate, but Lashley promptly recovers, and powerbombs Jeff on the steps. Lashley bashes Jeff’s head against the steps twice going into break. Back from break, finding that both wrestlers are back inside. But we want to say we have in the Brown Bag a DVD with two greats in James Storm and Braden Walker. Jeff battles back against Lashley, then both the twist of fate & Swanton bomb. This sees Lashley kick out of it. Jeff hits it again, but Lashley puts his leg on the rope. The fight again heads outside, where Jeff uses the steps to dropkick Lashley, followed by Jeff bringing himself back inside to fly, but misses Lashley, who goes under the ring. Once back inside, Lashley hits the spear & retains. After the match, Eddie Edwards makes his way out to congratulate Lashley, and invoke his rematch at a later date. Lashley personally does not like being mocked, and goes off verbally before saying Edwards has one match.
Eli Drake and Tyrus are not saying who it is they’re challenging. We should let them know behind the scenes employees are not eligible.
We see last week Rosemary propositioned Brandi Rhodes…, To join The Decay. She tries again, but no.
Aron Rex & Rockstar Spud driving around. This better win the Gooker.
Brooke returns in a bout with Sienna. Brooke dominates early on, and pursues Maria, who seems to be wearing ill-fitting pants. This leads to Sienna using her power to throw Brooke around in and out. A distraction allows Sienna to use her wrist tape to strangle a bit. Sienna tries the AK-47, but Brooke reverses, and uses a few moves before putting in an inverted STF-like move. She then turns it into the neckbreaker. Brooke tries to head up to, but is distracted by Maria. This leads to the silencer to end the match.
The DCC are vague about who they’re challenging. We’ll guess Bram is challenging us for all those police jokes. Again, we’re not eligible.
Rex bringing wrestling back to the 1940’s.
The DCC want to wrestle The Decay in a falls-count-anywhere match. Everyone brawls to start. As Storm throws Abyss into the steps, Both Bram & Eddie Kingston beat up Crazzy Steve, who avoids a table. Storm hits Abyss in the head with a trashcan before Abyss brings both he & Bram down. Steve kepps them that way when he jumps off the stage. Once back in the ring, Abyss uses thumbtacks, and Steve has the barbed wire board. Abyss strips Kingston of his shirts to try to send him through the tacks, but he gets out of it and goes to fly, but TNA Knockout Champion Rosemary mists him, and he is send in. Storm hits Abyss with a bottle, and last-calls, bringing him into the board. Steve tries to hit Bram, but Storm kicks him, then Bram piledrives him through a table, which sees Storm get the pin.
A lot of photos, one’s on Mondays.
Braxton Sutter is being blackmailed into marrying Laurel Van Ness. Mike Bennett promised to throw the bachelor party. We want in. Gonna be great to be there.
TNA Impact All Seeing Owl Grand Champion Drew Galloway talks about saving the division when Moose emerges to talk about Drew using underhanded tactics twice to win it. Moose wants to fight, but Drew says he had his match. Drew says he already has an opponent, and tells Moose to leave. Drew’s going to be wrestling someone named Rob Ryzin. Drew slaps & kicks before tossing him around while Josh plugs Rudy with the calm natural tone of having someone’s revolver pointed at him. Drew uses the future shock to end it 2 minutes into the 1st.
Lee wants to wrestle TNA X-Division Champion DJZ in a ladder match despite DJZ’s injury. DJZ is presented as enough of a veteran to send Lee outside, and use the ladder to strike. DJZ’s offense is not too bad, but his leg is bashed against the side. Lee goes up the ladder, but is sent down by DJZ. When Gregory Shane Helms distracts, Lee strikes and goes up again. DJZ stops him, but his leg is attacked and bashed with the ladder. Lee stomps on the leg and tries to smash it with the ladder. DJZ stops it, but his attempt to end it sees both wrestling on the ladder. When Lee is downed with a ZDT, he goes up, not seeing Lee is given a weapon. Lee bashes the leg with his chair. Using both the chair and ladder, brutality is unleashed by Lee, who then gets the belt.
Robbie E interrupts Rex now, Rex will wrestle him next week.
Drake will still not say who he’s facing.
Drake has an opponent. Tyrus announces it will be Ethan Carter III. EC3 shows his bruise, then the brawl starts between him and Drake, who attacks the bruise into break. Back from break, both brawl outside as EC3’s side is hit further by Drake, who grabs a baseball bat. He strikes the injured area before bringing him back inside. Stomping on EC3, Drake then further strikes until EC3 begins to come back into this. Drake stays on him until EC3 uses a jackknife pin to win. After the bout, Drake attacks with his bat. The lights go out, and the DCC attack EC3, Drake, then Tyrus.
This week feels like WCW’s time waiting for the buyers, but the buyers have happened.

Thursday, January 12, 2017

Impact Review 1/12/2017

We find the bastards that are helping are nuts. We suspect they had problems with the vacation they had implanted. This might be a dream.
After showing the win by TNA World Heavyweight Champion Eddie Edwards last week, we hear TNA World Tag Team Champions The Hardys talk about their intent on defeating both Edwards & Davey Richards later tonight. Fantastically bizarre, we’re glad these guys aren’t Gooker-nominated.
Ethan Carter III is here as we see Davey helping Edwards win on two nights. EC3 talks about wanting one match without interference. He then, as we see the new logo, he talks about the problem Davey started as he wants to see The Wolves. Bobby Lashley then emerges to mockingly ask EC3 about being interrupted. Lashley then says EC3 acting like a face is what cost EC3. Lashley says they both want the TNA Championship, he challenges EC3 to a Last Man Standing match. After they both mock Anthem’s All Seeing Owl, they brawl to possibly amuse it. The match begins before the break. Back from break, EC3 is on the stage while Lashley is in the ring.  Once EC3 enters, Lashley tries using the chair, but misses, leading to EC3 hitting a fast-paced assault. The brawl then heads outside, where Lashley uses punches, and the apron to daze EC3 enough to try a suplex through the table, but neither man does so. Instead, Lashley hits the running powerslam outside. EC3 is up at 5, leading to Lashley rolling him insid. As Lashley begins to climb the turnbuckle, EC3 sends him flying outside. A snap suplex by EC3 gives him time to get a second table. By 6, Lashley is up going into break #2. Back from break, EC3 sends Lashley down with both clotheslines and a splash before using a flapjack. EC3 tries the 1%er, but Lashley gets out and tries a spear. EC3 then gets out of the way and suplexes. This then sees EC3 hit a superplex. Lashley surges with adrenaline, and delivers a superplex of his own. When EC3 gets up, he is speared. He’s up at 5, and is speared again. Lashley brings a third table as EC3 is up at 9. Lashley sets it up in the corner. We get a yay/boo before Lashley hits the spinebuster. Lashley goes for one more spear, but is reversed into a 1%er, and speared through the table. Both respond before the count. EC3 inside, Lashley stumbling outside. EC3 follows and blasts with the chair. Lashley’s up at 7 thanks to the steps. EC3 then goes for a sleeper, which sends both men into the tables Lashley set up. Lashley barely is up at 9, but EC3 is up slightly too late. Both put on a great match, which is why we hope we don’t win the Gooker.
We see a man’s pinky-ring. This won’t do any good. Any bets on if it’s the infamous new gimmick everyone heard about are permitted.
Boy, Hulu doesn’t have any idea what they’re signing up for.
Feast or Fired with a new name.
Eli Drake seems to be Negan when he and Tyrus threaten someone to start reading a statement.
Rockstar Spud reads a statement before Aron Rex is introduced. Spud is dressed like his servant, Rex has a brutally white robe. Rex’s name is sung as he starts talking as stereotypically effeminate as possible. Basically, this reminds us of The Rainbow Express, a tag team that we had to book. Painful then, painful now. Robbie E mocks them and attacks, but they beat him down. Rex then beats him with his ring hand. We may hear everyone involved asking if Japan is an option.
The DCC talk about beating up The Decay. Bram remembers something other than his attorney’s number. Brilliant.
The Allie and Maria stuff keeps going and going and going and going.
The Decay vs. The DCC is next up. Both teams brawl to begin as Abyss works over Bram. Crazzy Steve attacks Eddie Kingston with his speed, but Bram has dealt with Abyss and uses the numbers to beat up Steve. Back to two, Bram slugs Steve before tagging in Kingston. Both use frequent tags before Steve tags in Abyss. After the hot tag, everyone brawls before they’re counted out. Despite this, they’re still brawling. Russo might be erect now.
The Wolves talk about teaming up. We think Davey is happy with Edwards’ success and will not be costing him the TNA Championship.
Returning KO you say? Who forgot her pay rate now? Guess.
TurboTax again after H&R Block. The Thursday Night Tax Wars.
Ok, it’s Brooke. No, not that one. She’s back to wrestling after having her kid. She hopes to be TNA Knockout Champion again.
Mike Bennett vs. Braxton Sutter is now up. Both lock-up to start before Sutter begins chopping, then clotheslining away. Sutter’s attack is not long, because Bennett sends him outside, and throws him between the rail and apron before trying a pin inside. Bennett’s chinlock is broken by Sutter, who uses right hands and a spinebuster. Sutter uses his agility to fly, but Maria’s distraction leads to Bennett hitting the MIP, then a piledriver at Maria’s orders. Allie then tries to tell her to stop, but she tries to have Allie see, but Bennett takes entirely too much time, as he’s pinned with a jackknife.
Bennett has given her an idea.
TNA Knockout Champion Rosemary is out to speak. She talks about being Champion, and who’s tried to stop her. Jade interrupts to say that the mist is why Jade doesn’t have the belt, now she wants a shot. Rosemary says it’s a death wish she is not denying, so long as it’s Monster’s Ball, to which Jade accepts. Afterwards, they brawl, which sends Rosemary running.
Next week is Race 4 The Case as it is now known.
The Hardys vs. The Wolves main events. Edwards starts battling Broken Matt Hardy. Both will swap working on the arm before Davey and “Brother Nero” Jeff Hardy tag in. They exchange holds before the double-team by The Wolves, leading Edwards tagging in. Edwards next is teamed up on by The Hardys keep tagging in and out going into break. Back from break, Edwards battles with Jeff, but needs to tag Davey in. Matt tags in and goes for a pin before Davey breaks it up. Edwards hits The Hardys with a hurricarana, and tags in Davey, who hits both with a suplex. Davey locks Matt in a figure-four. Jeff tries to stop it, but Davey additionally puts him in an ankle lock. Davey targets the leg of Matt before Edwards drags Matt into the post. Frequent tags bring both Wolves until settling on Davey. Matt brings Davey down, leading to Edwards and Jeff tagging in. Jeff hits a few of his Moves of Doom, but Davey breaks the pin attempt. Jeff uses the whisper in the wind on both before tagging in Matt, who tries a twist of fate before he is countered be Edwards. Jeff tries a Swanton bomb, but the knees of Edwards leads to an attempt to end the match, but Matt breaks up the pin. After a few near-finishes, Matt hits Davey with a twist of fate, bringing next the Swanton bomb. This does not end the match. Edwards goes after Matt, After this, Edwards tries to signal to Davey, but is caught by Matt, leading to a pin from Jeff to end the match.
Week 2 was not bad, unless you look at the bad repackaging, but that doesn’t even screw up the show now.

Thursday, January 5, 2017

Impact's New Day-1/5/2017

Forget the bastards, we’re getting paid! We’re now buying Commando.
After the announcers talk about Anthem, we hear news by TNA World Heavyweight Champion Eddie Edwards about being a target, but Bobby Lashley wants a shot at the belt, Ethan Carter III does too. EC3 wants to repeat his win last year to become TNA Champion. After the two former WHCs argue, Edwards says all three should wrestle, and says he has a surprise.
An ad for the show we are not up.
We see the main event later.
TNA Grand Heavyweight action as Moose defends in a match with Mike Bennett. Both clash to start, but neither man gains much in the first minute before Moose downs Bennett briefly. This sees Bennett use a hit to the knee to gain the advantage. It doesn’t last too long, as is basically the pattern in the first. Before the next round, Bennett is announced as winning the first, but Moose brutally attacks to start off. Moose breaks out some speed, including a moonsault. After both kicking, then hitting the cutter, Bennett tries a pin, but the kickout keeps Moose in it. Hitting the discus then has Bennett try the MIP, but it is reversed into a finisher by Moose, but the second ends going into break. Jon Ham stands like he’s photoshopped on a dummy. Back from break, it is a Moose win, which sees him hit the go 2 hell, but Bennett kicks out. Moouse tries another moonsault, but misses, and is piledriven by Bennett. This also sees kicking out. This leads to a yay/boo before Bennett hits the kick off the second turnbuckle. Both men are on the ground before the third ends. Moose is awarded the bout.
TNA World Tag Team Champions ask 2-time Gooker winner Swoggle about “MeekMahan”. Not sure if this is good or stupid.
Rockstar Spud wants the man that turned his back, we’ll review later. Swoggle emerges to accept. Spud attacks at first, though brought down by his spear and emerald fusion. After being bitched out by the man many say was the worst Cruiserweight Champion in WWE’s time with it, Spud says he quits. That all happened.
Bennett challenges Moose one more time at a PPV tomorrow night. We’ll likely hear the outcomes next week.
Eli Drake speaks for the first time in this year next.
Drake says his show is setting trends, and EC3 is not out of his mind. He switches gears to introduce The Hardys. Broken Matt Hardy basically introduces himself, but Drake talks about Total Nonstop Deletion needing Drake. Matt says the invite was an open challenge. Drake says he needs invitations, which sees “Brother Nero” Jeff Hardy ask if he needs to fall in love. Drake says they were afraid of him. This goes on a few more instances until Drake talks about the live PPV tomorrow, where he says he’ll get a partner. He tries to hit them, but they cut him off.
Edwards says he will leave TNA Champion. But while he’s talking, Lashley interrupts trying to hear the surprise. Edwards leaves.
Another promo for a show the network presents.
Hamm stands normal.
We hear about The Hardys. Even the local news picked it up. We may have a shot.
Trevor Lee says there is no eye in unity. The Helms Dynasty battle The Decay, who have new music for some reason we don’t think has anything to do with screwing Billy. Momentum shifts fast in this early part. Andrew Everett blocks Crazzy Steve’s attempts to tag Abyss, but the big man barges in. He uses strength to even attack Gregory Shane Helms. TNA Knockout Champion Rosemary mist Helms, and Abyss chokeslams Everett to win. The DCC emerge and attack The Decay. Bram never forgets.
Maria talks to Allie about her win over Laurel Van Ness, and that she should be ready next.
Maria, Sienna, and Laurel are here to talk about Allie. This leads to Allie making her entrance. Basically, no camera’s on Sienna. This director may be hurt. Maria berates her as usual. This angle seems to be in the same place as before. However, Allie accepts battling Sienna. Allie brawls with Sienna at first, but the power is Sienna’s. Braxton Sutter is out there trying to support Allie as Laurel tries putting the moves on him. We try to tell her we’re available, but she seems to prefer married men. Well anyway, Allie still fighting before catching sight of Laurel. This gives Sienna a shot to hit the kick, but it’s not enough. Allie doesn’t like being spit on, so Allie slaps, then blasts with the crossbody. After a bodyslam is hit, Laurel has to distract again, leading to Sienna ending it with a silencer.
Promotion for tomorrow’s bouts, which has Rosemary vs. Sienna, and TNA X-Division Champion DJZ vs. Lee, Sutter, and Spud.
Edwards vs. EC3 vs. Lashley main events. All three brawl with 11 minutes until the overrun. Edwards and EC3 work as a team as Lashley battles. When Lashley is sent outside, they go after him and assault by the ring chopping away by the rail. Once back inside, Lashley tries to gain ground, though the two men are united going into break. Back from break, EC3 works on Edwards while Lashley tries getting back in. Edwards takes EC3 down with an armdrag, but as they begin switching, both now remember Lashley after he suplexes both of them. Lashley exerts his power before ripping padding off of a buckle. EC3 attacks, but is sent down so Lashley will remove the second padding. Edwards avoids the buckles before they both deliver a suplex. Both Edwards and EC3 have a yay/boo before taking Lashley down again. Edwards avoids a 1%er, and they battle while Lashley heals. Edwards avoids a suplex before Lashley hits a dominator. EC3 takes Lashley down. EC3 sees Edwards up top, and tries for a superplex. Lashley hits a tower of power. Lashley’s spear is blocked by EC3, and Edwards hits a lungblower on Lashley. EC3 then hits the TK3 on Lashley, but it does not get the win. EC3 tries to fly, but is locked into the chinchecker, but EC3 counters into a sleeper. Lashley sends both into Chekov’s buckles, and the battle heads outside, where Edwards flies. Both Edwards and Lashley are back inside, where Lashley spears Edwards, who rolls outside. Lashley grabs the gold to try to hit Edwards, but the surprise, Davey Richards grabs it, leading to a Boston knee party to win.
The first broadcast of Anthem Wrestling Exhibitions wasn’t actually bad. Perhaps we’ll have a great time.

Thursday, December 1, 2016

Impact Review 12/1/2016

Matt’s Back, He may need an apprentice.
TNA Impact Grand Heavyweight Champion Aron Rex makes an open challenge. He is bummed its Moose. He wanted Grado. Many did. Before the bout, Rex stalls for time before the bell rings. He still stalls, even rolling outside. Once back in the ring, he’s thrown, kips-up, and does the chinlock eye deal. Moose no-sells, hits the gamechanger, and wins. Not all the bouts will be like this. After his win, Moose says Rex was good, but now Moose has the belt, for anyone who wants a bout. Rex won’t speak.
When interviewed, TNA World Tag Team Champion Jeff Hardy says Matt, will be there, then shows he has his Brother Nero lenses.
The Payday team is on their way. Bram moves his mouth under his mask to act like he’s robotic. Strangely, he delivers a better promo Shockmaster-style. Jeff emerges in Brother Nero mode. Jeff talks about how their facing two guys from World War I or something. Kingston asks where Matt is, Jeff attacks, but the numbers are too great. The DCC music hits and the lights go out. When back on, Matt’s in the ring and sends them away. Matt says the belts belong to them.
TNA X-Division Champion DJZ, Mandrews, and Braxton Sutter talk about the 3-way match they will be in tonight. They all act too face for no one to turn.
A sale. No, not of this place.
Recap of Moose winning.
A Tweet of the night goes to @IanRichards1: “I picture the Team X Gold match similar to WCW World War 3 where the last three left were all nWo members.”. As these three are here to win, the match begins. They begin to circle before all three go for near falls early on. DJZ is sent outside so Sutter and Mandrews exchange moves. When DJZ enters, he is given the Northern Lights suplex, and is back out of this. Sutter uses a bit of power, but is sent outside by DJZ, where both men are downed with a moonsault. After Mandrews gets a breather, DJZ dominates, until getting in the ring, where his knee stops him from fighting. This sees a pin attempt by Mandrews on Sutter. DJZ fights through his pain to deliver a crossbody to both. DJZ tries a ZDT, but is hit with a flatliner by Sutter. Mandrews effectively eliminates Sutter, but the recovered DJZ gets a pin over Mandrews after a Mandrews splash. After the bout, DJZ’s knee is attacked as Mandrews shows he’s not happy with the end.
Laurel Van Ness berates Allie about last week, and says she may not have a job.
Maria and Laurel are here to talk about the pie stuff. Allie is asked to bring herself to the ring. Allie says she did not mean to force her pie in Maria’s face, but this goes to the Allie/Laurel spat. Then the beration continues before Laurel says she had a date last night. After being called a bitch, Allie slaps Maria. Laurel attacks.
Before her bout, Rosemary tells Jade she will make history, and win the TNA Knockout Championship.
Bram teams with Kingston to wrestle The Hardys. Kingston with his D’Lo Brown/Roman Reigns look as both teams brawl. Matt bring Bram through two corners before a double suplex assault on both opponents. The Hardys use their team experience to isolate Bram and whoop him the way many want to see happen. Bram escapes a chinlock by Jeff, but it sees The Hardys beat him and his partner up going into break. Back from break, Kingston has the edge over Matt before tagging Bram in. Bram has an edge briefly before Matt brings him down and tags Jeff, who is rolling until James Storm kicks when referee Brian Hebner is distracted. Kingston tags in and dominates for a little bit before tagging Bram back in. The two men wear Jeff a bit more before Jeff brings both himself & Bram to the canvas. Matt tags in while Kingston. Matt bites both men’s hands like their Michael Biehn in a James Cameron film. Before Matt hits the twist of fate, he is hit by Bram. Jeff takes both Storm & Bram out then helps Matt deliver two twist of fates to befall Kingston to retain.
We see Gail Kim put over Jade without losing to her before Rosemary attacks them some weeks back. We see Jade’s training for this bout.
We see last week Ethan Carter III silenced Eli Drake last week, and now messes with him.
We see Al Snow and Mahabali Shera being whipped. Is it racist if they’re European? Maybe. It seems to be a strap-match.
EC3 is out here to talk about his shot at TNA World Heavyweight Champion Eddie Edwards. He wants Edwards to come out. When he does, EC3 talks highly about Edwards against Lashley before they talk business. Basically, EC3 talks about having another shot, and Edwards talks about being the best.
Next week is the TNA Championship match.
Jade battles Rosemary in the cage in this main event. They start by brawling outside of the cage, but Jade brings her in and dominates going into break. Back from break, Jade uses a tilt-a-whirl headscissors, but Rosemary uses a fake-mist to bring things her way. She even grinds her face against the fencing. She is still attacking even when taking a break. She even suplexes Jade into the cage. Rosemary looks to head coast-to-coast, but Jade recovers her bearings, and sends her to the ground. Jade now uses the structure to throw Rosemary around, and powerbomb her for two. Both brawl until Rosemary uses a German suplex that brings both down. After they both get up and brawl on the wall, Jade sends Rosemary down before the crossbody off the cage. Only two. Jade goes to fly, but mist by Rosemary interrupts the climb, then the red wedding secures the gold.
Standard, but interesting. Just feels like it will end soon.

Monday, November 21, 2016

Punk Wants to Fight Again

Hey, best of luck to him. I'm sure UFC could milk some kind of 'redemption' story out of his fame, but I'd bet on Bellator throwing insane money at him for some big televised one-off.