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Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Impact May Mayhem Review 5/24/2016


Thinking about Owen today, it was 17 years ago yesterday.

 

Well there is hope for our show. The network hasn’t heard about our new offices, and may be with us for a good amount of time.

 

A recap of last week’s main event going the way they usually do, and hype for tonight’s brutal wars leads to Matty Todd, The Demon Barber of Orlando talking about evolving with a Boston accent even Eddie Edwards says is too thick. He talks about being in a full metal mayhem match as his accent becomes British. This Gooker may go to Billy. Rockstar Spud and Tyrus emerge. Spud talks about how dedicating himself to Matt has made him better, but Matt is not himself. Matt says he’s going to delete Jeff Hardy, then asks Tyrus how he feels. Tyrus basically says he does what is good for him, and agrees with Spud. Matt then says Jeff should face both Spud and Tyrus in a ladder match in order to wrestle Matt. Adding if Jeff wins, they are not to follow him. This bring s his opponent Ethan Carter III. An ad for Slammiversary.  EC3 and Matt exchange momentum quickly as this match starts. EC3 then suplexes Matt, and throws him around before Matt battles out.  As Matt then kicks EC3 and stomps him, fans are shown not to be into this new gimmick at all. EC3 kicks out, but is punched in the corner before a bulldog. Matt sends EC3 outside, where the fight sees both men attacking each other before getting back into the ring. EC3 then takes some more abuse before getting an Arnold-like second wind. This brings out Mike Bennett, who after a few moves by EC3, assaults him. EC3 was supposed to win by pinfall or submission. Good thing that the announce team mentioned this more often. Bennett says EC3’s redemption came to a halt. He says EC3 will not get his rematch before a literal mic drop.

 

Bennett explains what he did was art, and implies he played Billy. If Billy sees this, Bennett played himself.

 

Allie introduces Maria, who goes over the job she in a sense bestowed upon herself as fans ask to see Velvet Sky. Gail Kim emerges angry. She says she sounds like a broken record when she talks about how Maria is the problem. After both argue about wrestling, Maria says neither one are able to fight, but despite Gail challenging her, this leads to Gail’s job on the line against an opponent not named. Gail wants Maria, but gets Sienna. Both women brawl before Gail is sent outside.

 

Grado tells Mahabali Shera he doesn’t want help to face Al Snow, as he has a chain underneath a turkey leg. This angle is still going, and still painful.

 

BroMans talk on the phone nearby in a fairly funny segment until they know they’re nearby.

 

Gail says she will not let Maria defeat her.

 

A video of Grado and Snow’s feud shows us how bad our promotion has reverted to 2003. Snow says fans will not see him use weapons, obviously heeling due to his recent weapon use. He waits for Grado, who somehow doesn’t know Snow’s waiting to beat him up. Snow beats him all the way to area ring. The brutal destruction is interrupted by a plug for the network’s other show. Snow misses a moonsault, and gets his own powder thrown at him. Shera bring weapons that Grado uses before handing him Chekov’s leg. Grado uses the chain and goes for a pin before the former Legionnaires help Snow get a win. We’ve become the place you’re bumped down to when you are released from NXT. Perhaps you will get Crowe and Zahra.

 

Matt is sitting there as Reby and Maxel try to reach him. He’s fried, like this angle.

 

Jeremy Borash is talking about the destruction about last week’s main event before Bobby Lashley, wearing a certain MMA shirt, interrupts and demands the TNA World Heavyweight Championship. This brings out it’s Titleist, the reigning and defending TNA World Heavyweight Champion Drew Galloway, who says he almost won, and there’s nothing between them but ropes and air. We believe it’s are and a toothy-boy. Lashley demands the gold again before Dixie next interrupts. She says they will wrestle at Slammiversary in a match where in order to win, one has to either knock their opponent out, or make them submit. The MMA fighter is in his element as he calls the Champion a bitch. They brawl inside the ring with each other and security. Each man hitting their finishing moves. Lashley then proceeds to choke Drew with a cord, leaving everyone else on the ground. This segment and feud are well done. Are we sure this is 2016.

 

Ultimate X is set up quickly as TNA X-Division Champion Trevor Lee defends against Edwards, DJZ, and Andrew Everett. An ad for Best of better days DVD. Edwards starts by taking out Everett as DJZ sends Lee flying. As DJZ tries to grab the gold, Edwards stops him. When Edwards has to deal with Everett, Lee tries stopping DJZ again. This sets up Edwards to face off with Lee as Everett initially tries for it, but then is told to help Lee. DJZ works on both men, but the fend him off. Edwards is able to deliver a double hurricarana to both of the Helms Dynasty. Edwards tries grabbing the gold, but Lee recovers, and sends Edwards down onto Lee’s knee. DJZ uses his fast-paced offense to Everett, but Lee dropkicks. Edwards kicks Lee away and goes for it. Gregory Shane Helms distracts the referee. Even though Edwards has the X-Division Championship belt, but Lee grabs it to retain. Billy is a moron.

 

Sienna says she will rip Gail’s heart out. Haku says but can you do that literally.

 

 

EC3 says he will be making a phone call. We’re not going to let him down.

 

Gail vs. Sienna in an important match. The ability to get paid to wrestle is important, but Gail wants to stay here. Both wrestlers brawl as Maria and Allie watch. Gail’s agility sends Sienna reeling, and outside. Gail kicks Sienna, but is distracted by Maria. Sienna sends Gail down across the guardrailing. Once back inside, Sienna uses her power to throw Gail around until Gail uses a reverse DDT. Gail attenpts to fly, but Maria pulls her down when referee Earl Hebner is distracted. Despite this, Gail rolls-up Sienna to win. After the match, Gail attacks, but Sienna helps Maria wail away.

 

Spud seems wired as he tells Tyrus they need to win. Reby and Maxel say they need to get it done tonight. This angle is going to be a strong Gooker nominee.

 

BroMans find that basically, we repackaged Raquel into a TV-PG personal trainer. Interesting.

 

Next week sees Drew and Lashley picking the other’s poison.

 

Jeff vs. Spud and Tyrus main events. Jeff’s giving fans some of Bram’s multi-year contracts and Tyrus attacks him to start this match. Jeff holds him off with a chair before grabbing a ladder going into break. Back from break, Jeff uses some moves of doom on Spud, but is sent into the ropes by Tyrus when going for a ladder. Both men beat Jeff down in the corner, but Jeff sends Spud into Tyrus’ splash. Tyrus uses his power to deliver a Big Ending, and looks to end this match. His attempt to scale it proves to be a problem when he breaks the ladder. Jeff delivers a twist of fate. When Spud tries, he gets one as well. Jeff secures his match in a few weeks. Matt watches, but Jeff is ready.

 

A night of interesting action. But again, Billy is not worth much of his pay.

Sunday, May 22, 2016

Quick Picks Extreme Rules

We have to now book 8 weeks of shows in 3 days. Here are a few quick ones.

Corbin ends this feud. New Day rock, No tapping by Charlotte, Rusev prepares to lose to Cena, DA sends Y2J away, Club puts their bullet in Usos for now, Miz escapes, Reigns wins to boos.

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Impact Review 5/17/2016


Well there is no Saturday show, and the network may not renew. Morale is High.

 

Bringing final hype for TNA World Heavyweight Champion Drew Galloway facing Bobby Lashley. Both men got a raw deal from WWE. They are shown brawling earlier in the day.

 

“Willow” appears. Dressed in a black bodysuit, he says he’s resurrected while sounding like someone hit the pitch button all the way high. Jeff Hardy says that Willow is not this fraud. Bringing this up, Jeff asks a strange series of questions. They have a “match”, that sees them going for the twist of fate before Jeff hits it to win. When Jeff goes to unmask him, a second Black Scorpion assaults before a third one that totally isn’t Matt Hardy delivers a cryptic promo going into break. N ad for possibly our last Slammiversary. Back from break, Matt unmasks to talk about how Jeff betrayed him. Multiple versionms of a Gooker Award nominee, rapid gimmick change, this is a Gooker Award nominee. Matt says Jeff should’ve finished this. But that’s what fans have said to WWE since June 2002. Matt delivers a literal kiss of death before rambling some more. After the two other guys beat eff up some more, Matt proceeds to choke Jeff. At the end, Matt goes to the back as the fans are silent.

 

Velvet Sky is told by Cherry Bomb, who is now a woman named Allie, that she’s facing Sienna. Velvet scares her, and finds out her job is on the line. Guess who got WWE to hire his girlfriend.

 

Jeremy Borash is talking to Dixie about the Drew/Lashley issue. Morale is High enough to get wrestlers in a lumberjack match.

 

Velvet vs. Sienna starts with Velvet trying to pin the latest monster of the division, but Sienna uses her power to kick Velvet around. Velvet goes for a pin, but Sienna takes the fight outside. After reversing an Irish whip, Velvet brings things inside. Velvet then tries her Stunner knockoff, but Sienna finishes her, and her time here. Given how long we have left, this may be the last time you see her.

 

Mike Bennett is talking earlier in the day at a hotel about Ethan Carter III and becoming Champion, but Maria is swimming. Tough to say what we should be focusing on.

 

Speaking of which, Bennett says he understands fans don’t believe in him, saying that believing in themselves is something they don’t do. He then says he devised the road to redemption EC3 is on. Bennett challenges Earl Hebner. Seems like we have EC4. Bennett has referee Brian Stiffler walk out to referee the match. Bennett then punches Hebner, but there’s a kickout. When Bennett argues, Hebner low-blows. When this leads to Maria arguing, Bennett strikes, and gets a pin. After this, a second assault is interrupted by EC3. Benett respects the action, but says tonight EC3 wrestles in a last man standing match with Tyrus, who attacks from behind going into break. Back from break, EC3 gets out of a nerve hold. Despite this, Tyrus uses his power to recover, then grabs a chair. EC3 battles back, but a thumb to the eye helps Tyrus buy some time. After setting up the weapon in the corner, he is sent into it by EC3. After a series of splashes, EC3 goes up top. He nails Tyrus with a crossbody, then brings into the ring a table. EC3 then wallops Tyrus with chair shots. Tyrus males it up, and sends EC3 into chairs. EC3 is back up as Tyrus sets up the table. Tyrus uses a Tongan death grip, then puts EC3 on the table. When Tyrus goes to fly, EC3 mounts a comeback by powerbombing him into the table. Tyrus now has a comeback, and uses a Becky Lynch-approved exploder suplex, followed by the ICU. It sends the match outside. Tyrus sends him down onto the ramp. EC3 amazingly gets up. Tyrus grabs a rail, but EC3 Samoan drops him onto it. EC3 then put the steps on Tyrus, and hits it with chair shots several times before going back into the ring while pressing down with his foot. Because of this, EC3 wins.

 

A second hype video for Drew/Lashley. This one shows the superhuman exercise Lashley puts in. Actually, because of this, we may be careful about what is a joke here.

 

AJ Styles, Who Faces Off For Gold Soon.

 

A recap of the opening mess leads next to Jeff saying he will defeat Matt at Slammiversary.

 

The Helms Dynasty(What sort of name is that) vs. Eddie Edwards and DJZ. Edwards starts against TNA X-Division Champion Trevor Lee. Both men quickly tag out, leading DJZ to move fast against Andrew Everett, but Lee knees DJZ, leading to Everett to assault DJZ before Lee briefly tags in. Once Everett is back in, DJZ uses desperation hits, and tags in Edwards. Once in, Edwards uses a backpack stunner to get two. After both Edwards and Everett brawl, Edwards tags in DJZ, who then jumps om Lee, and we then get a fast-paced sequence that sees Edwards take out Lee, and DJZ pins Everett.

 

We see Drew training as he says he will keep going as Champion. He says Lashley will never break him.

 

Eli Drake hosts Fact of Life. The fans are into him pressing the Dummy button.  He refers to TNA King of the Mountain Champion the Re-Signed Bram as a dummy. Someone get 911 handy. Bram likes his belt, and the fact he’s signed so many deals, he will end up paid for by WWE. He says Drake is not dangerous, to which Drake says his Feast or Fired briefcase makes him dangerous. After hearing the offer to just hand the belt over, Bram threatens him. This leads to Drake leaving while Bram mocks him. Drake attempts to walk away, but Bram brawls with him briefly.

 

A recap of EC3’s win leads to him wanting his rematch now. He finds out however he has to wrestle Matt next week. Be careful not to get stupidity here.

 

We also see Grado vs. Al Snow, and an Ultimate X match. That match can both be good and hilarious.

 

Drew vs. Lashley is the main event. Both men feel-out to begin before Drew starts punching and kickimg. Lashley blocks a kick, and we get a sequence where Drew’s outside, but we don’t see what happens because of break. Back from break, Lashley has Drew in the corner with a boot, then chokes him on the rope. Lashley stomps away before sending him outside. The heels attack Drew before sending him inside. Lashley stomps and brutally chokes Drew before sending him into the turnbuckles and shoulder tackles him. Both men struggle to suplex before Lashley neckbreaker’s Drew. Drew runs into an elbow, then is grabbed with the hair. The Pope says Drew is like John Wayne toilet paper: Takes crap from nobody. Drew battles up and tries a future shock before giving a neckbreaker all his own. When Drew tries running off the ropes, he is slammed. Lashley tries running at Drew, but Drew uses a Celtic cross. Drew intends to use the claymore, but the lumberjacks are brawling to a no-contest. Hope you’re now amped to watch the Royal Rumble.

 

There were good moments, but the bad is like Russo never left. Hope next week isn’t going to drive us to drink more than usual.

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Impact Review 5/11/2016


We seem to may be trying to bring in Ryback or Damien Sandow. Get ready for a new main event star.

 

After the usual team of announcing and doom welcome everyone, and then a recap of last week’s big mess, Jeff Hardy wants answers about TNA World Tag Team Champions The Decay. Jeff looks like he’s been hit with mist. The Decay interrupt, AND SAY Jeff is weak. Jeff says they’re not dead yet, but they will be. Rosemary hints they were paid. Who has Billy chosen you may be wondering if you forgot what Matt Hardy’s gimmick has been this year. There is now an assault, which leads to James Storm making the save. Storm says he and Jeff know about tag teams. Abyss says they already defeated him, but they will beat them both. Jeff says they’re in for a storm. Guessing this is a Tag Team Championship match. An ad for our early years. When things were better. Now Jeff starts off with Crazzy Steve. After a few quick moves, Storm tags in. Storm uses his power to cancel Steve’s speed. This leads to Abyss tagging in. Both men exchange punches before a Storm gets him reeling. Rosemary distracts to help Abyss gain his footing. Bringing Abyss throws Storm around before tagging Steve in. Steve tries a move in the corner, but Storm gets out of the way and tags in Jeff. Jeff uses several moves of doom before getting a near-fall. Jeff attempts a twist of fate, but Steve tags in Abyss, who gets his with one. Jeff attempts a swanton bomb, but a man dressed as Willow stands on the ramp. Jeff is distracted, and finished by The Decay. RD, we have our Gooker nominee.

 

A recap of last week’s announcement of the main event and he war it lead to, leads to TNA World Heavyweight Champion Drew Galloway saying Bobby Lashley needs to remember he is a man. Drew is taping his fists, which either means he’ll make sure Austin goes over, or he’s ready to face Lashley. A commando-like assault.

 

Jeff asks "WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED" The Black Scorpion.

 

Billy uses Mike Bennett and Maria to put over Liz Phair. Obviously the segment is about Bennett politicking, but it’s awkward.

 

Drew is in the ring demanding Lashley come out. When Lashley does, he says he’s glad Drew grew a set. Drew says Lashley’s attacking from behind is cowardly, and Drew’s not scared of him. Lashley says he should be, and brings up the wrestlers he’s beaten. Lashley respects Drew’s still here, and he’s inspired to take the Championship. Drew says his ribs still hurt after Lashley speared him, and that he may have almost lost the belt against Tyrus, but he won’t be broken. He makes a challenge to wrestle now. And Lashley then brings up how he’s in Drew’s head. Lashley says he’ll wrestle him next week to become Champion. Drew wants to fight now. Lashley re-affirms it will be next week by telling Drew the fans deserve a big match. Eli Drake interrupts, and says he may not be #1 Contender for Drew’s gold, but he’ll make a case for it tonight. Drew accepts Drake’s challenge to defend tonight by fighting him outside going into break. Back from break, Drew stomps on Drake, and throws him around. Drake is able to jump over the rope, and grab Drew’s hair to start to dominate. Drake uses a powerslam to damage Drew’s ribs. He then mounted punches a few times before Drew reverses an attempt to send him outside. This leads to both men fighting outside before Drake gets Drew back inside. After a desperation maneuver by Drew, a yay/boo sees Drew gain momentum. Drew goes for a future shock, but after Drake gets out, Drew has to hit a powerslam. Drew goes up top, but Drake recovers quickly, and superplexes Drew. When Drake goes for Drew’s gold for a distraction, he is met with a future shock, and a claymore, leading to Drew retaining. Afterwards, brutal spear by Lashley then sees him hold the Championship belt.

 

Ethan Carter III makes it clear he wants a rematch. He needs to know you need to kick him in the groin then refer to yourself as one angry and vengeful grim reaper.

 

Gail Kim and TNA Knockout Champion Jade are informed by Maria they will be wrestling in a Championship match later, and Sienna will be out there.

 

EC3 likes the crowd chants for him, and says he doesn’t want to talk over it. He adds he’s looking to talk about a rematch. This leads to the Bennetts. EC3 cuts her off, leading to Bennett claiming he’s moved on. EC3 says Bennett is in doucheville, and that he just made a meme. They go over their cases about yes or no. EC3 says since there is no opponent right now, he wants the rematch. Maria says Billy listened to their idea, which Bennett reveals EC3 needs to defeat “the demons from his past”. EC3 accepts. The first match will be in a cage against a wrestler to be revealed before the match.

 

A recap of Jeff’s what-have-you.

 

Gail wrestles Jade. Again, Best of WWE star AJ Styles and UFC Star possibly eventually CM Punk. The match starts with both wrestlers getting a sense of the other while Sienna watches. Jade uses a chinlock, but Gail gets out of it. Both have nearfalls nonstop. Jade’s hurricarana leads to a yay/boo. Eventully, Jade uses a German to get two. A test of strength leads to both wrestlers down. Once Gail is up, she and Jade take the fight outside, where Gail hits a crossbody, then gets Jade inside. A momentary distraction by Sienna leads to Gail getting hit with a dive. Then Sienna hits Jade. Gail then attacks Sienna, but Sienna brings her in the ring and finishes her assault.

 

Al Snow shows wrestlers training in his school, and says he will shut the door in the faces of Grado and Mahabali Shera.

 

EC3 wants to know who it is he faces later.

 

Snow and Shera wrestle again. Snow’s offense early on is reversed, which leads to Snow taking out another a weapon, uses it, and hides it. Snow then brings Shera shoulder-first into the steel ringpost. Snow initially attempts to use one wrist’s tape, which is a distraction so he will be using the other tape. Snow heaves Shera outside, and attacks him on the steps. Snow gets Shera back inside, and is angered by Grado chanting. Snow is surprised that Shera keeps kicking out. Grado stops Snow from using his weapon, leading to Shera winning using the sky-high.

 

Jeff fights a “Willow”. We use a gif of Robocop smashing a villain’s brain on Twitter. It works for this bastard here too. After break, two more help the first one. Robocop, smashing villain’s brain.

 

Next week is Drew vs. Lashley.

 

EC3 finds out who he faces. It is going to be revealed after the break. Back from break, EC3 faces off against Rockstar Spud. EC3 and Spud start by brawling. Tweet of the Night is from EC3: “I'm inside a cage. Right now”. Spud is able to use a low-blow, and his own belt, but his escape attempts are stopped by EC3. Both men brawl near the top before Spud throws EC3 down, and elbows him. Spud tries using part of his belt buckle to stab EC3, but EC3 stops him, and sends Spud into the steel. They again fight o. n the top of the structure. EC3 drags Spud in long enough to press slam Spud. EC3 then hits the 1%er to win.

 

A final look at next week’s Championship bout.

 

Great action. Weird booking. Same as usual. Until next week.

Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Impact Review 5/3/2016


We hope to sign Ryback soon, until then, enjoy our show.

 

Bobby Lashley brawls with TNA World Heavyweight Champion Drew Galloway around a gym in a commando-like brawl, and it’s MMA cage. Lion’s Den 2016.

 

A recap of Ethan Carter III and Mike Bennett’s match last week leads to Bennett walking out to discuss how he’ll change everything. He talks about how in 30 months, no one had pinned EC3. He says he is God, and wants a Heavyweight Championship match. Eric Young is not happy. Jeff Hardy interrupts. This really upsets Bennett and Maria. Jeff says he’s a joke. They discuss what miracles are and what happened to Matt Hardy. After a heated exchange of words, Bennett wants to arrange a match later, but Jeff attacks, wanting it now. The match is on. AJ Styles: WWE Star. The match starts with Bennett using a suplex, followed by chinlocking Jeff. Jeff escapes, then uses a few moves of doom as Bennett tries to rebound. Lashley attacks both men, then proclaims himself the baddest TNA Champion in History, and wants a shot. Dixie says Lashley won’t be handed a shot. The main event tonight is a triple threat between all three men in the ring, with Drew as special guest referee.

 

Rosemary talks about defeating Beer Money, and how they’ll transform tonight. Her idea of such is spitting in their mouths. Billy is into some sick s---.

 

Matt speaks later about being out of action for a few weeks.

 

TNA World Tag Team Champions The Decay emerge. Only Rosemary doesn’t have towels draped over her face, she unmasks each one, Crazzy Steve starts by rambling about being free, Abyss now shows off facepaint. Talking beauty, he looks like Barry Windham as the Stalker. James Storm, using the Beer Money theme song, says he’s still here, then runs them off. Storm makes a challenge to Abyss, which he accepts. Storm brawls with Abyss, who looks like Tama Tonga ballooned. Rosemary distracts long enouf to help Abyss. Eventually, Steve gets involved as well. Abyss wears down on Storm for a while until Storm gets out. However, when thrown out, skinning-the-cat is what Storm does. He starts punching and kicking. Abyss is able to hit a chokeslam, but only gets two as everyone forgets his brother was really him. After each exchanges the driver’s seat, Abyss uses the mist, then a black hole slam to win.

 

Maria talks about the power she has. We made that up so she’d leave us alone about getting a reign.

 

Jeff says he will beat them both tonight, and how his relationship with Matt is broken.

 

Maria introduces TNA Knockout Champion Jade, who’s new music sounds generic, but better than Corgan’s friends. Maria talks about how Jade needs to see her vision. She goes on about a mistake she believes Jade has made, and how she needs Maria’s help. And asks Jade to lay down. This goes on until the refusal leads to Sienna emerging. Both the Champion and the new signee looking to up the asking price, then go to Full Sail brawl until Sienna brings her in and punches away. She then uses a finishing move.

 

TNA King of the Mountain Champion Bram talks about how he’s still the same man after winning gold. Well he has signed a multi-year contract recently. Perhaps you heard.

 

Jeremy Borash says he interviews EC3 next after AJ Styles: They Don’t Want None. EC3 isn’t here, but Bennett talks about himself, and how he’ll become #1 Contender.

 

Bram defends against Eddie Edwards, Andrew Everett, Jesse Godderz, and Eli Drake. Bram brawls with Edwards as Jesse and Drake exchange pin attempts. Everett attempts to fly, but Bram pins him. Strange to think Bram is the one sending someone into a cage. Edwards gets Drake into a single-leg Boston crab. Everett is quickly out of the cage. Gregory Shane Helms assists Drake against Edwards, who now has to be in the cage. Bram tries hanging the belt, but Jesse dropkicks him. As Drake attacks Jesse, Bram recovers and sends Drake outside. Jesse makes Everett submit in the Adonis lock. As Everett is going in, Edwards attacks him and they go to the back. Drake stops Jesse, and hits him with the briefcase. Bram attacks. Bram then hangs the gold to win. After the match, Drake attacks, and tries to use his shot. Bram runs him off.

 

Drew says he has sacrificed a lot to get to the top, and says he will fight back.

 

A recap of Jeff’s swanton bomb leads to Matt talk about that fake-retirement angle.

 

As Bennett walks out, we see EC3 waiting. EC3 may be congratulating him, makes it clear he’s not like the wrestlers he defeated over 30 months. He says he hopes Bennett wins, so he can beat him. EC3 makes it clear they’re not done. Now that building-up the Summerslam rematch is done, Lashley is next out, then Jeff, followed by Drew. After saying he will be neutral, Drew rings the bell. The two heels attack Jeff before Drew breaks it up in the corner. Lashley then stomps on Jeff while Bennett helps briefly. Lashley then shows Bennett what friendship is to him before they team again. Jeff reverses the offense, and sends them both down. Jeff sends Lashley outside, then Bennett. After this, Jeff flies at them going into break. Back from break, Jeff brings Bennett into the ring and hits a swanton bomb, but Lashley jumps him, suplexes Bennett, and goes to spear him, but Bennett rolls out of the way, leaving Drew to get speared. After the everyone hits a finishing move sequence, Jeff has a pin, but no one to count. Jeff takes Bennett’s face, then bashes it against the steps. After the brutal assault there, Jeff swanton bombs Bennett again. This time, on the steps. The Decay for some-reason attacks Jeff. Lashley is back on his feet, and spears Jeff. Lashley spears him one more time in the ring, then gets the win. After the match, Drew and Lashley brawl.

 

Tune in next week as we build to the possible final Slammiversary.

Sunday, May 1, 2016

Quick Picks Payback

Don't have much time before Gaburick knocks of the "door" to our office, so a few quick ones.

Ryback sadly wins a belt, Corbin continues the brief push he'll get, Zayn upsets Owens, Ambrose defeats the dad guy, Aiden and Gotch respond to how you doin, Charlotte gets the same win she does, Miz sneaks a win until next month, Teigns looks strong, Bullets possible.

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Impact Review 4/26/2016


Before we begin, our thoughts go out to the family and friends who lost Chyna this week.

 

Tonight is Sacrifice. Will Ethan Carter III let off some steam, or will Mike Bennett end up making history? Will TNA World Heavyweight Champion Drew Galloway stand up as the winner, or will Tyrus? Will there be new TNA World Tag Team and King of the Mountain Champions? Ok, we’ll answer that last one.

 

After a brief graphic in honor of Chyna, Tyrus is waiting for Drew. When he and Rockstar Spud demand Drew walk out to give up the gold. Drew however is ready now, which makes it strange the match is this early. Drew starts with punches, but a distraction by Spud enables Tyrus to send Drew outside. Spud stomps away before Tyrus goes after Drew. Drew is able to send Tyrus into the ringpost. Despite Drew having help chopping Tyrus, the big man uses a suplex to get things his way. Tyrus keeps attacking the injured ribs of Drew as Spud looks like he needs a fix. Tyrus brutalizes the ribs further, and goes to splash. Drew rolls out of the way, and attacks in the corner. Drew uses a clothesline from the top before going to use the claymore. Spud’s distraction almost helps Tyrus use the Championship belt, but Drew reverses. After disposing of Spud, Drew hits his claymore for two. Both men are up when Tyrus again hits the ribs. Drew is able to battle out, and get Tyrus up top for a superplex. Again, only two. A yay/boo leads to Drew using several punches, and when Tyrus goes for a spike, Drew hits the Future shock to win.

 

A recap of Jeff Hardy vs. Matt Hardy, and the lack of a finish, leads to an announcement of an update on Jeff.

 

Maria talks about this being her reign. Strange that she hated the Bella problem when Billy’s booking her like one.

 

An ad for AJ Styles: WWE Wrestler.

 

TNA World Tag Team Champions Beer Money talking about The Decay. Though we see TNA Ghost Bobby Roode is thinking about TakeOver.

 

Maria talks about re-making the Knockout division. Hey, remember when women’s wrestling mattered here? Well Gail Kim say it’s a sad day. After bickering for a bit, we remember what the band Fear said, the mouth don’t stop. Well, Maria makes Gail vs. Rosemary. Gail starts with an assault on Rosemary, but Rosemary manages to take the advantage. This includes a suplex, and unique submission work. Rosemary stays on Gail until trying to kiss Crazzy Steve. This leads to Gail’s figure-four on the post, and several quick maneuvers. Gail goes for a pin, but distractions by Steve and Maria lead to Rosemary using the mist to end this match.

 

Eli Drake says he will name the dummies on Fact of Life. It may be the person that possibly lost her promotion to a company employing two guys that fans hate.

 

Jeff walking funny leads to Drake talking about dummies, even having a button that says “dummy”. He starts by berating Jeff for jumping, as well, he does to Drew for having gold. He introduces Bro-Mans, who he calls dummies. Wearing matching glasses, they wonder about why they’re being called dummies. Drake say because Robbie E is teaming with Jesse Godderz, that Jesse made a mistake. They start talking about Grado. Then there’s more use of the button before Jesse gets ready to attack Drake. A punch by Drake doesn’t work to well. Then they call him a dummy. This was almost Mr. Anderson in this.

 

Abyss talks about things decaying. Perfect talk about this place.

 

EC3 talks about how he wants to win gold again, but he’s going to beat Bennett.

 

Beer Money vs. The Decay in a match RD Reynolds may need to talk about. Both teams brawl as the lights are darkened. This is Billy’s idea of shaking things up. Is NXT hiring? Beer money hang out in the ring, but are pulled out, and brawl some more. James Storm attacks Steve’s legs, but Abyss stops him. More brawling outside as Steve rolls Roode in while Abyss throws weapons in. Roode tries hitting Abyss with a kendo stick, but the previous assault leaves him open for Abyss to turn it around, leading to him and Steve sending him into a chair wedged into the corner. Turning their attention to Storm, Abyss sends Steve into the air to splash Storm, but Storm uses a chair. Beer Money send Steve outside, and use a team assault on Abyss going into break. AJ Styles: Possible WWE World Heavyweight Champion. Back from break, Storm avoids a barbed-wire board, and Steve goes in it. Abyss knocks Beer Money down, and breaks out thumb-tacks. Abyss hits a black hole slam, but only gets two. Roode rolls out of the way of Rosemary’s mist, and Storm spits beer in her face. Abyss is hit with a beer bottle, but only two. Stoem goes to fly, but Steve sends him through a table. Roode is recovering, and goes to hit a Roodebomb on the tacks, but a Rosemary low-blow, and Abyss chokeslam through the tacks send Roode to Florida full-time.

 

A recap of TNA King of the Mountain Champion and TNA Ghost Eric Young attacking Bram, who seems to re-sign every two hours, leads to Bram saying he’ll beat Young tonight.

 

Bennett talks about looking to take everything from EC3 tonight.

 

After Young berates Bram, Bram runs out and brawls with him. Bram uses a “BAAAAAAAACK-BODY DROP”! Bram then goes for a Brighter Side of Suffering off the apron, but Young grabs a bit of beard. As Young goes for a weapon, Bram pulls him out from under the ring. Young uses a low-blow, and a trashcan top before grabbing a table. Then Young hits Bram with the lid for two. Being in the seat, Young briefly uses a dragon sleeper, but Bram battles ahead. Bram goes for a superplex, but Young sends him off the top and elbow drops him. When Young goes for a piledriver onto the table, Bram low-blows, and hits the Brighter Side of Suffering into it to win.

 

Drew tells Booby Lashley he’ll be ready for him next week.

 

Jeff limps out to the ring. He says it was worth taking the risk because of what Matt had been doing, and he hopes it makes him think. Reby and Spud ask Jeff if he knows what he did. Spud says Jeff destroyed Matt, and that he will pay. Reby keeps with this whole Jeff hurt Matt thing as fans yell “Please shut up”. She spits and slaps before Jeff grabs her arm. Spud attacks the bad leg, but gets a twist of fate.

 

EC3 vs. Bennett main events. After a feeling-out, both men chase each other before EC3 sends Bennett outside, and into the rail. EC3 proceeds to chop Bennett before getting him inside. EC3 goes to bodyslam, but Bennett uses a rake, and sends EC3 outside. After assaulting EC3 for a bit, Bennett sends EC3 back inside. Working on EC3’s hair, Bennett tries to focus on EC3 in the corners. EC3 uses several big hits to get Bennett on the ground. EC3 tries for a 1%er, but Bennett reverses. EC3 gets him back down, and prepares to fly. But this end up in a fight on the top as EC3 sends Bennett down, and crossbodys him. As both men try to get to their feet, both of them end up in a yay/boo. EC3 hits a TK3, and Bennett hits a cutter, but both get two. EC3 is his several times with Bennett’s chair. EC3 reverses a Miracle in Progress into a 1%er, which has Maria push referee Earl Hebner. EC3 then uses the chair on Bennett before using a cobra clutch, but Bennett uses the ropes to get a pin.

 

Quite an evening of action. But there needs to be something that two alleged bullies can’t provide. Until next week.