Impact Review 3:16 2017

Sadly do not have the review of last week’s mess, though we hope to have one more often as we see AndFuc ThatOwl try to go to war while trying to pay wrestlers. This will go awkwardly.

 

We see last week’s mess first though before Alberto El Patron walks out without the gold, uses his lady’s phrase, and talks about beating TNA/Impact World Heavyweight Champion Bobby Lashley. This brings Ethan Carter III to demand a match to see who goes after the gold. Alberto says EC3 is not Lashley. EC3 mocks Alberto, who insists he’s not wrestling, followed up with a brawl. This leads to Alberto accepting. Obviously one is turning, but whom is likely to anger many.

 

A One Night Only with guys who are not here, followed by Eddie Edwards talking about trying to help this place. If this place goes, we hope guys like him get a shot in WWE.

 

A worked-shoot-Lite about the deal with the TNA/Impact tag team issue.

 

The announce team is a mess as we see a video about Tyrus and Eli Drake. Then they team against Lerado Kid and Garza Jr. Drake starts with Lerado, both hold their own as Garza Jr. tags in, and sends Drake outside to get hit with a team assault. Lerado is in, but Tyrus tags in going into break. Back from break, Tyrus keeps Lerado separated as he tags Drake in and out of the match, but the hot tag presents the rally and ducking the hit, sending Tyrus to the ground, and winning using the school boy.

 

We see Edwards, James Storm, and TNA/Impact Grand-Champion Moose talking about NOAH. Strange we have a promotion working with us. We think they may be paid better.

 

Barging through, Cody talks about his name being pimped out as he holds Jeff Jarrett’s failed promotion/Alleged gold scam’s midcard belt. He does a worked-shoot while bribing Brandi Rhodes’ opponent on the small price she’s being paid. Maybe if Jarrett paid her in time shares. Back from break, TNA/Impact Knockout Champion Rosemary attacks.

 

EC3 talks about defeating everyone is what makes this place great. Strangely, his match is next. Both begin by brawling into break. Back from break, EC3 beams right in the stomach. As EC3 stomps away and throws Alberto around, he pins as Lashley talk booms up. Both wrestlers head outside as we think about pushing Josh Mathews do… We promised a friend we would not say that. Back in the ring, EC3 gets out of a wristlock and uses his moves of doom, and sends Alberto to both the outside, then the table. Once back inside, EC3 is sent outside this time going into break. We like seeing Don on TV. Back from break, EC3 blasts away before being hit with Alberto’s own moves of doom. Alberto goes for an armbreaker, but EC3 rolls out of it. Alberto goes to fly, but EC3 brings him into the turnbuckle. After brawling, EC3 gets out of the stomp attempt, and hits the TK3 before cornering himself to heal.  He hits a second TK3, but heads outside to catch his breath & the chair. He wants to strike, until he throws the weapon. Alberto hits the kick, then locks in the armbreaker, getting the win. After the bout, respect is paid from Alberto to EC3, who shakes his hand. Makes the bout’s outcome tolerable.

 

Reno Scum yell about becoming TNA/Impact World Tag Team Champions.

 

EC3 is enraged, we suspect he’ll be wrestling in the cage.

 

Madison Rayne talks mainly being in TNA her adult life. A sad-life perhaps.

 

A fan with a sign believing in cutting Josh.

 

We found the Suicide gear and put it on some guy. He’s wrestling Andrew Everett, Braxton Sutter, and TNA/Impact X-Division Champion Trevor Lee. Everyone starts by eliminating Lee, then brawling with each other. When Suicide goes to fly, Lee stops him. Everett brawls with Lee, as both he & Suicide fly going into break. Back from break, Lee & Everett brawl while Gregory Shane Helms distracts as the announce team argues about “She” being here next week. That’s not very helpful. Lee throws Everett around before choking Suicide before being put in an abdominal stretch, and pin attempt. Sutter battles in, but then they all hit a tower of power. Laurel Van Ness looks drunk eating cake. She’s ours. The distraction attracts something, a win. Sienna emerges, and warns Sutter and Allie about their new love.

 

Moose talks about making the show great through his work.

 

Bruce heads out to say the Tag Team Belts will be decided in two weeks with four teams battling. The Decay are on their way. Abyss mumbles before Crazzy Steve adds not much before Rosemary says her team deserves them. Reno Scum emerge. Only time before Lerado and Garza JR., the second in different gear. All brawl until LAX destroy absolutely everyone.

 

Well tonight was something. Perhaps something needed.