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Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Impact Review 8/26/2015

Once again, we have another week of two promotions trying to stave off doom for another week. However, we now know Josh Mathews and The Pope no longer have to ask where General Manager Bully Ray went. So that helps.


A recap of the recent attacks on WWE’s Bully Ray and Drew Galloway, the King of the Mountain match, and Jeff Jarrett taking charge.


The Hardy’s walk down to start. Jeff Hardy is sorry that he broke his leg. First time anyone has apologized on this show. He then talks about TNA World Heavyweight Champion Ethan Carter III, and how Matt Hardy deserves one more match! Matt says he has the support of everyone going for him. He says he can carry TNA into the future. Well, about that… Anyway, EC3 says he used to watch the Hardys, and says he’s disappointed at Matt right now. After mocking them some more, EC3 goes to leave before Jeff says he’s a jackass. EC3 mock’s Jeff’s accident. Tweet of the night goes to @WheelerDeeler: Should have said MiniC3 After Jeff hypes Matt one more time, EC3 issues the challenge that he will give one more match under the condition that Jeff becomes EC3’s personal assistant if EC3 wins. We hope he has Jeff spiffy up our office. It smells like beer, Christy Hemme’s feet, and Billy’s tears.


After finding out Bobby Roode, James Storm, Bobby Lashley, and Mr. Anderson will be in a #1 contender’s match, we get a video about the Eric Young vs. Chris Melendez feud. Young then says he will take Melendez’s leg. A bit harsh and stupid, but we never ended a 21-match streak, only to have the one man that army that ended it lose to the man that held the streak after a finish with a botched camera shot.


The Jarretts promise a big night. So Dixie wrote the promo.


Young vs. Melendez. Josh says many likely have Cringed at the match. Really? Wow.  Melendez starts by brawling with Young, but Young takes advantage and hammers away. Melendez tries to get back in this, but Young uses an elbow to keep himself in the driver’s seat. Young uses a chinlock, but Melendez gets out, and uses a Bubba bomb. Despite a poke to the eye by young, Melendez takes advantage, but Young rolls him up, and uses the ropes to win. Josh expects Young not to take what he wants. Moron.


After a replay of the stupidity from just now, we move on to the X-Division. TNA X-Division Champion Tigre Uno vs. DJZ vs. Sonjay Dutt. After a knucklelock is broken up by Dutt, DJZ sends Tigre Uno outside. A quick hurricarana helps Dutt take over, and sends DJZ outside, where he lands on Tigre Uno. After Dutt flies out to splash them, Tigre Uno and DJZ return to the ring, where they fly for a bit before Tigre misses a corkscrew. DJZ uses a baseball slide to keep Dutt outside, and goes to slam Tigre Uno. As Tigre Uno gets out and powerbombs DJZ, Dutt gets in and takes the fight his way. When DJZ gets in, they end up taking each other out. DJZ recovers first, and sends Dutt outside again, and DDT’s Tigre Uno. Tigre Uno recovers, and German suplexes DJZ before splashing him and winning.


James Storm says Mahabali Shera is no longer part of the group, TNA no longer holds him down, and that Manik better not dance again. Easy Lithgow.


A recap of the opening challenge leads to showing The Hardys talking.


TNA World Tag Team Champions The Wolves vs. Manik and Abyss. Davey Richards finds Abyss too strong. Eddie Edwards tags in, and takes him down long enough to tag in Manik. As Josh reminds us Bully is not coming back, Davey tags in, but Manik uses a few flying moves to keep Davey down long enough to frequently tag in and out of the match. Manik’s flight, and Abyss’ power, help them to dominate for a bit, but Davey is still able to tag in Eddie. Eddie chops up Manik before sending him into the corner. Eddie goes for a pin, but Abyss breaks it up. Davey helps Eddie get the big man down before they go coast to coast on Abyss. Storm runs down to try to get involved, but Shera runs him off. Manik is finished off by the Wolves.


After an ad with Christy telling us about a calendar, Jeff has reached a decision. Jeff says that he will accept the challenge for next week.


A recap of the Jarrett angle then brings a shot of Dixie on the phone trying to figure out her options.


TNA Knockout Champion Brooke vs. Stone Cold Velvet Sky. After hearing about Taryn Terrell joining the Submission Sorority last week, we see Velvet brawl her way at first i9n the match. Brooke manages to get a few elbows before going for a pin to get two. Brooke goes to 10 punch, but Velvet gets out and begins to rally until she and Brooke knock each other down. Brooke sends Velvet outside, but Velvet drags her out as well. After a brief brawl, Brooke sends Velvet into the steps. Jade and Marti Belle attack Brooke and Velvet until Rebel runs out, and helps the group that beat her severely several months ago. This then sees Taryn sounding like she used a ton of barbiturates before taping her promo.


Roode basically says he will show everyone why he’s the best later tonight. We think he’s reasdy brother. Mr. Anderson says he’ll let his actions speak.


Drew’s angry on the phone. Surely that being a problem won’t happen.


Mr. Anderson vs.  Storm vs.  Roode vs. Lashley. Strange that Billy wants the winner to face TNA King of the Mountain Champion PJ Black when they could ALL face him. The match starts as a brawl between Mr. Anderson and Storm, and Lashley and Roode. Lashley, dressed like the General Lee, suplexes Roode on the ramp before joining the other two inside. Mr. Anderson and Lashley team assault Storm and send him outside. Mr. Anderson and Lashley have a series of moves that end in counters before we go to break. Back from break, we have a brawl with everyone. Chants of “BEER… MONEY” fill the arena before Storm attacks Roode. Roode uses an elbow, and then a neckbreaker, but only gets two. Mr. Anderson gets Roode down, but Lashley brings him down as well before going for a suplerplex. Roode tower of powers them. Roode gets Mr. Anderson up top for a suplerplex, but Mr. Anderson knocks Roode down. Mr.  Anderson goes to Swanton, but Roode rolls out of the way. After Storm is sent back outside as well, the two men that wrestled for the TNA Championship in January, face off. Roode tries a Roode bomb, but Storm lungbusts him. Mr. Anderson tries to get a pin on Lashley before Roode breaks it up. Mr. Anderson then surges against everyone until Lashley spears him. Storm superkicks Lashley, then Beer Money reunites to attack Mr. Anderson. When Storm goes to kick Roode, Roode gets him into a Roode bomb to win.


Brooke, Gail, and Velvet are on the calendar. Well they stayed no matter what has been asked.


We see the Jarretts, then a shot of Dixie walking out to the ring. Ready for obvious.


Calender ad, meaningless Josh with a meaningless plug, Jeff recap.


EC3 congratulates Jeff for making the decision, then says that Matt better prepare.


Dixie says that things are great when two people run things. 2010-2013 prove that as a no. Again Josh reminds us Bully is not coming back. Jarrett then bellows on about how Dixie needed help. We agree on that. Jarrett says working together is a win for fans. Dixie says the last few weeks have been great, and that they are unstoppable. Dixie is about to seal the deal when Drew walks out and says he has something Dixie needs to know. It has to wait until after the break. Not sure why it has to be. Back from break, Drew puts Jarrett over, then talks about the attacks. Drew said someone must have seen who attacked everyone, as a detective, Drew finds the getaway cars were rentals registered to Jarrett. Drew says Jeff has everything to gain. Running the show and one of his guys winning a belt we made up a month and a half ago. Karen admits she did this. This meanseither he did know or his guys are not even to be trusted by him. Doesn’t matter, Jarrett leads a Global Force Wrestling assault on Drew. Rockstar Spud, Robbie E, and The Wolves try to help, but GFW stand tall. Boy are we going out in a blaze of stupidity.


If you haven’t read the months of spoilers, then you only now know this is the last ditch to stay on TV past next month. Now we are not saying this idea will move the needle slightly at best before we are sent off to become the next book to read, but we hope either we and Justin write the introduction. Well that’s it for tonight. Hope to see you again next week.

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