Well Wednesday will be quite the night for wrestling soon. NXT and Lucha Underground will bring the great action they’re known for. Ring of Honor will showcase tomorrow’s NXT stars, and we’ll be trying to prolong our existence at least until we find another network someone will get us thrown off of thanks to the Cc button. Well we will not discuss next week, without first covering this week. Let’s see what NXT brings to the table.
We begin with a recap of Takeover, A.K.A. why Elimination Chamber needs to be good. Seeing Samoa Joe motivated reminds us why we should’ve given a damn from 2009-A few months ago.
NXT Champion Kevin Owens comes out to Sami Zayn’s music. We’re not sure what’s worse: The commentators thinking Zayn was here, or remembering he’s not here because he had surgery. Owens then mocks John Cena’s “America please don’t boo me” challenge. Between fans clapping Owens saying his challengers earn their shots and singing “John Cena sucks” requires Owens to mock Zayn and say he destroyed him. Owens is looking like Thor in this promo. He says he’s a good person because he warned Zayn about the match and he walked away from Samoa Joe. He says that saying he’s scared is as ridiculous as Cena’s merchandise. After the fans chanting “We want Joe”, Owens saying he will show Cena who the real Champ in. We’re not sure if this man will win on Sunday, but he makes a good case. Out comes General Manager William Regal, who says putting his hand on Owens is the only reason he’s still here. When Regal lists Hideo Itami among those Owens has injured. A charge he denies. Solomon Crowe next comes out to challenge the image of Owens as a good guy. This causes the Champion to challenge Crowe. An opening promo that actually makes you want to watch the show. Shocking.
We get a recap of Itami selling his real injury brings us to him letting fans know he will return.
Last week sees Renee Yonung interviewing Zack Ryder, which makes the internet happy. Mojo Rawley however does not.
Our opening match sees Bayley, the woman that steals hearts vs. Emma, too easy, with Dana Brooke, the woman that steals dance moves from the Gold Club. Emma starts the match by pushing Bayley and staying on the attack, after a quick comeback by Bayley, Emma is back on the assault. Maybe we shouldn’t make that joke. Emma finding that trash talk around Bayley is not a good idea, as Bayley begins to rage out. Emma however, is able to lock in an inverted STF to get the win. After the match, Dana helps to continue the assault, even holding their own against Charlotte. Maybe we should have someone else give Bram his pay.
A recap of Baron Corbin getting the win last week leads to his post match promo with Renee. He speaks a little too softly. Either he said he showed what he can do or asked Renee to wear a puffy shirt. Rhyno then comes in snarling they’re not done.
We see the same Becky Lynch video from a few weeks ago, just with her match last week added. We like her voice, which is a similar thing we said the last time we saw this video.
Up next we have NXT Tag Team Champions Epilepsy Dubstep with Alexa Bliss in new gear that is what her last name says. They face Mike Rollis and Elias Sampson. The Champions are as vicious as the guy that used to have slashed on his tights. After a double team finisher, the Champions set up Rollis to have Bliss hit the sparkle splash. We think that’s more of a reward.
A recap of Finn Balor becoming #1 contender lets us know he’s in action next. Either that, or showing how weird he looks.
The ad for WWE World Heavyweight Champion Seth Rollins vs. Dean Ambrose. Which Triple-H calls “I got 2 words for ya Dad.”
Devin Taylor finds that Bliss feels Carmella is trash. Sorry Bliss, but real trash is the time that Nikki Bella has been Champion. In any case, they will be in action next week. Sorry, but as great as they are, the most over person will be Enzo Amore.
Finn Balor vs. Tye Dillinger. Balor now wearing a bandana mask reminds us too much of the Aces and Eights. Blame Bischoff. Balor and Dillinger exchange momentum early on, which makes this better than if it were just a squash. Eventually, Balor starts to regain control, getting choppier than a YouTube video on 3G. After a coup de grace, Balor would secure the win. Again, a squash, but a great one.
Jason Jordan caught wearing a breast cancer awareness shirt. Seriously, it’s too early to kiss ass. Chad Gable makes the case he should be Jordan’s new partner with a rally towel. Hey, if it worked for Ricky Ortiz.
Owens vs. Crowe is the main event. Tweet of the night comes from @ReBourneAgain: Owens music inspires one feeling.... fear. After initially running out of the ring, Owens then brutalizes Crowe outside of the ring. Despite a brief comeback, Crowe falls victim to a push off the ring post. An ad for Austin and Heyman reminds us that Jericho could’ve asked how Heyman felt about Tomorrowland. Back from commercial sees Owens continue the chinlock tradition. This is less of a match, and more of graphic spectacle like seeing Nancy Grace eating. Crowe takes advantage of an opening, and takes the fight to the Champion, though one senton later, and Owens lifts up Crowe for the same move that Cena falls for every week. After the match, Owens goes for the powerbomb on the apron, which brings out Samoa Joe. Owens "feels merciful" before reminding Joe he came from oblivion, which is where we may be soon.
So ends another night of the one WWE show that is worth watching. Samoa Joe having to pursue Owens seems weird given all the trouble the Champion has started, but in doing so, makes fans want to see the match just that much more. This is the slow build that works, not the “Oh f---, they hate Batista” type that we saw last year. Until we return for the last Impact… On Fridays, we wish you well.