The opening about is Tyler Breeze vs. Finn Balor. We get video of Hideo Itami with his previously injured shoulder now being addressed, but Kevin Owens walks by simply saying that's a shame in a manner channeling Jerry Seinfeld. Breeze has an entrance that looks like a fashion world version of Neville. Balor is now evolved to the point where he has wings and spines. Even has an eye pain on his back it is reminiscent of both of Lord of the Rings and Resident Evil 2. Just imagine how freaky things will look if he makes it on the main roster during the Triple-H administration. A divided crowd down the middle for both men. Back-and-forth action sees Breeze break out some more stiff offense to complement his high-flying style, while Balor delivers his usual hard-hitting approach. As much as we would've loved to seen a Itami tear it up with these two at the very least we know can pull out a great match when the situation calls for it. After Sling Blade, Balor attempts to follow up but interrupted by a super kick that gets a 2 count. Breeze takes the padding off the turnbuckle which at one point Balor runs into. Even then, he only gets a two count. Breeze attempts to leave the ring before Balor cuts them off at the pass. Balor climbing the set gets chants of "Please don't die" as he lunges at Breeze. Balor gets breeze back into the ring hits The Coup de grace and wins. We cut to NXT Champion Kevin Owens. Given he's facing Sami Zayn tonight, and United States Champion John Cena in a few weeks, he's got quite the schedule. We see Stephanie McMahon sitting next to someone from Game of Thrones we dare not attempt to spell his name.
Next footage of NXT in Philadelphia. All we can say is if you were there Justin, you are one lucky bastard.
We now feature Dana Brooke and Emma vs. Charlotte and Bayley. Bayley dominates Dana early on to chants of evil Emma. Speaking of Emma, when she comes in to match, then her team takes control. Charlotte is able to fend off the advances when she tags in, when going for a double DDT on both of them. Talk of Napoleon Dynamite sherlocks the figure for on putting a bridge with leads to Bayley fending off Dana with a belly to belly suplex, and Charlotte getting the win with natural selection.
After a recap of Zayn on RAW We see some of the new Performance Center signees including Uhaa Nation, who again is suspiciously not named.
Baron Corbin vs. Rhyno is next. Corbin is the most tattooed NXT wrestler not associated with WWE World Heavyweight Champion Seth Rollins. The match is fairly hard-hitting actually isn't that bad for some of Corbin's matches. Rhyno mainly on defense during the early going of this match. A double shoulder check puts both men flat on their backs. Rhybo mounts a comeback before he attempts a spear, which is countered into the end of days, which allows Corbin to get the win. Not a great match, but definitely one of the better matches of Corbin's young career.
Recap of Owens attacking Cena leads Owens being interviewed about his great week. The promo he cuts leads us to suspect the very real possibility he's getting called up.
Enzo Amore and Collin Cassidy face the team they dub Team Cottonelle for the straps. Then we get the bizarre epilepsy inducing video and music of Blake and Murphy. Enzo and Big Cass dominate for the early going of this, including Big Cass countering half of Murphy's offense. But the Champions are able to isolate Enzo. He's like Ricky Morton in high-tops and Zubaz. Despite taking an absolute ass whooping, Enzo just keeps coming back. His comeback leads Carmella to start bouncing around. Not that sure if that's a bad thing or not. Hot tag leads to Big Cass tearing down the place. Big Cass is almost Kevin Nash like in the sense of his matches are not great on paper but there's an intangible. But he doesn't quite have the charisma. Alexa Bliss comes out to attack Carmela. Which is exactly what Blake and Murphy need to divide and conquer. After Bliss pushes Enzo off the top rope, Murphy gets the cover to retain. List turn could definitely add some dimension to her other than being the ultra cute woman who looks cute. Look, Eva Marie. Brian Kendrick really needs to release her training videos.
After a video package, we get NXT women's champion Sasha Banks vs. Becky Lynch. Becky wearing one of Taker's old robes, Doc Brown's Goggles, and Milla Jovovich's hair from the fifth element looks quite different for this occasion. The chants for Sasha for the introductions, as well as a divided opinion of Becky, Provide NXT with quite a problem. Becky bringing quite the fight to Sasha, which leads to Sasha looking about as shocked as that one guy at WrestleMania. Sasha begins to comeback when she drags Becky by the arm down on the apron. Sasha continues brutalizing Becky's arm, including a backstabber into a straitjacket submission hold. It's quite apparent that until this past Monday, the main rosters Women's Championship angle paled in comparison to this one. It still has a tough timekeeping up with it even with a great wrestler like Paige. Given how into the heel champion the crowd is, one swears that Seth Rollins is being told to run out there with the Money in the Bank briefcase. Becky reverses an arm bar into an electric chair type drop. Becky continues to fight on, pulling Sasha straight into the ring post, hurting Sasha's arm. Becky even pulls off a suplex we're pretty sure caused Brock Lesnar to say "Oh someone's so getting that". Becky locks in the armbar with Sasha having to scratch and claw to make it to the ropes. Sasha eventually forces Becky outside the ring, decide to do a suicide dive through the ropes, but is caught by Becky and launched back first into the steps. When Becky attempts to go off the top rope, Sasha counters into a Bank Statement to get the win. This match is one of the best matches of the week altogether, and shows that Becky is quite an athlete. She even won over some of the divided crowd.
After a video package hyping the main event, we then move on to Zayn vs. Owens one on one. Owens comes out wearing a John Cena T-shirt, which leads us to wonder whether not he's walking into his match against Cena with the NXT Championship. Both of these men go at each other pretty hard, which is quite impressive as a knowing the injury Zayn's wrestling with. They start brawling through the crowd which leads us to think of what these men could've done in the Attitude Era. This includes Zayn reversing the powerbomb, and then tossing Owens back over the railing. Owens kicks out following a blue thunder bomb, he comes back before a suplex by Zayn. When he goes for the helluva kick, Owens close the outside which causes aim to roll out of the ring deliver another Suplex on the outside. Owens starts to turn the match in his favor following the Powerbomb on the apron. The referees have to pull Owens off of Zayn, however that's in vain as Owens continues the brutal assault. William Regal then comes out ordering Owens to stop his assault. When he doesn't, Regal starts to pull him off. Nothing. Then the shock of Samoa Joe not only appearing, but completely averting the name generator. Accompanied by chants of "Joe is gonna kill you", Samoa Joe stare at Owens until the Champion has no choice but to walk away from the fight. Gets chants of "Thank you Joe" the crowd, and from Dixie "F--- you Joe." In any case, we think we should probably send out resumes over to WWE. After all, their main roster creative team does like to book drunk.
So ends another week in WWE's NXT. Given that they signed the one Samoan wrestler not related to The Rock, we can safely say that it makes our second cancellation in a year a bit more painful. We may have to either join Jarrett's organization if it ever gets off the ground, or hope that Tommy Dreamer forgets who we are and hires us to book. Either way, we will crash land on our feet. As a certain tainted Samoan wrestler would say, believe that.