We decided that since Wednesday night is not easy to cover three shows, we will stick with only one. That won’t stop is from doing a 3 review WrestlePalooza. If we are not dead by the time we’re done, we will tell you what we think. To make it easy, we have decided to break things down to ROH, NXT, and us. Strap in, this will be a long ride. First stop: NXT
Recap of Owens best win so far. We hope they don’t screw it up.
Tyler Breeze vs. Adam Rose. The fans chanting “We want Kruger” really makes us feel good. Rose shows a viciousness that leads us to think while he may not become Kruger, he may get to alter the character to where he may be close to it. Breeze battles back. He’s another wrestler we hope can break through. He’s sadly become the designated jobber. After Rose uses a Boston Crab, we start to see a certain Afrikaner starting to break through, though his attempt meets a kick by Breeze for the win.
Devin Taylor interviews Solomon Crowe, who wants a rematch eventually with NXT Champion Keven Owens. Not sure he should until after Cena kills him.
Dana Brooke is shown at more body building contests. Strange, she’s not pretending to masturbate
Eva Marie getting booed like she booked the Rumble. Easy everyone, she’s trying. Despite this, she makes it clear she will wrestle soon.
Regal announces Balor vs. Owens on the Japanese event next month.
Carmella vs. Alexa Bliss. Carmella has no promo from Enzo. Bliss has the Dubstep Seizure. Momentum shifts back and forth between Carmella and Bliss. This match has the excitement Monday’s match sorely lacked. Bliss used the ropes to win.
Devin asks Rhyno about his match with Balor. Rhino says he wants to be at the top of the hottest thing in wrestling, and that Balor’s tricks don’t work on a psychopath.
Zayn gives an update about his health. Thankfully, the talent pool means he can recover normally
The Vaudevillains vs. Jason Jordan and Marcus Louis, who’s still bald. Strange to see the Vaudevillians acting as faces. Jordan looks strong. He keeps a chinlock on Aiden English, who is the Ricky Morton of this match.. Gotch pins Louis.
A look at Banks. She talks like a heel, but her expressions make us think she’d rather be a face. She says no one believed in her. We suspect someone believed that.
Balor talks about Owens, and how the real deal will meet the demon. Holyfield vs. Gene Simmons is worth our cash.
Balor vs. Rhyno is the main event. Balor uses his quickness to gain early control, but Rhino uses his power to turn things in his favor. The speed which control changes is real quick. Neither man seems to have the top of the hill for very long. Eventually, Rhyno maintains control to sustain an assault on Balor. Even mocking some of what Balor does in his entrance. However Balor does not quit. Even retuening to offense late in this match. Rhyno attempts a last ditchgore, Balor rolls out of the way and rolls him up for the win. Balor makes his way up before getting gored on the stage to end the show.
Next: Ring of Honor
The Briscoes go off on Truth Martini and ROH Television Champion Lethal
Will Ferrara vs. Kushida. Kushida is wearing a vest that leads us to think if Claudia Wells walked out with him, he’d walk to the back with Elizabeth Shue. Match is fast paced early on. Kushida being destructive early on. Watching this match makes us realize that we may want to work here. While Ferrera shows life at different points, the match is all Kushida, who gets a submission win. Already 10 minutes in, and we have some action.
Bad Influence as we once knew the ROH World Tag Team Champions come out to give a shot next week at the Championships to reDRagon.
Silas Young vs. Watanabe is the next match of the evening. Young is brutalized for most of this match. Watanabe is quite a wrestler. Keep him away from our management at all costs. The end of this match sees The Last Real Man take control and rally back to win.
BJ Whitmer vs. Moose. Whitmer decides Colby Corino will take his place in the match. Steve Corino has a look like he was asked if Pepsi is an ok substitute. Moose mutilates the replacement in this match. Even powerboming him outside of the ring. Moose wins a quick squash.
Truth Martini and ROH Television Champion Lethal talk about why Lethal shouldn’t wrestle in the main event. They could’ve talked about our show after this.
Main event sees The Briscoes vs. House of Truth. Lethal had himself removed from the match. Probably a good thing as the Briscoes dominate the early portion of this match. Dirty tactics however put the HoT on offense before we go to commercial. Judging from the Discovery channels advertised, they love this show the same way they did ours. HoT maintains control when we return from the break. We see most of the tours advertised already passed by. We think they used something that already aired in other markets to mock us. Briscroes get the win, and then Lethal and ROH World Heavyweight Champion Jay Briscoe brawl, with Briscoe standing tall to end the show.
Now we end with our show Impact
After a video for Ethan Carter III, EC3 has an a capella version of his music to celebrate becoming #1 Contender for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship. Co-Tweets of the night go to @WheelerDeeler WHY DIDN'T THEY GET THE BE SHARPS and @newpatriot77 So you got the long lost sons of IRS to do barbershop? EC3 wants Champion Kurt Angle to come out. Angle says Verne Gagne and Lou Thesz would be rolling in their graves. We think Josh Mathews wrote that. Since The Pope is there, we want him to hit Josh. Angle explains TNA X-Division Rockstar Spud has his shot if he wants it next week. EC3 says he will make an offer to Spud to try to prevent him from using his shot. EC3 has the singers sing. He Angle Slams one of them.
Lashley vs. Eric Young. Lashley dominates in a manner that suggests that we brought back the 2006 version of him. Young uses his speed to sway the advantage in his direction. We like that he’s being buried despite having a great WHC match. Unlike Daniel Bryan in the Royal Rumble. Lashley however starts to outwrestle him before Young uses an eye rake. Chris Melendez comes out to pay Young back for the exploiting his leg thing. This enables Lashley to spear him for the win.
Spud comes in to the arena, and is asked whether he will remain X-Division Champion, or go after the WHC. Spud doesn’t know, which sounds like it would be a catchy song.
The Dollhouse discuss what TNA Knockout Champion Taryn Terrell did to Gail Kim last week. They seem to ignore the whole ring stuff. We imagine Taryn pawned it like a good TNA wrestler would. We also find out Awesome Kong will get her shot.
Melendez says Young was surprised Melendez was there. We kind of are too. Usually, someone leaves when they’re certain they won’t get paid this year.
Aries advises Spud not to use his shot. While we get he wants to keep the WHC clear, we’re not sure why given he’s battling for the TNA World Tag Team Championships.
Jade vs. Brooke in a battle of the most colorful gear. Jade aggressively attacks Brooke. Even though she’s in control, Marti Belle assists her. It’s not as stupid as the women’s match everyone was subjected to on Monday. Josh and Pope seem to debate about these woman. It helps they have personalities. Brooke battles back before Marti puts Jade’s foot on the rope. When Brooke attacks Marti, Jade accidentally kicks her friend, leading Brooke to get the win.
Jeremy Borash says he’s assigned a duty he doesn't want. No, he doesn’t mean sending out a photo referencing Bruce/Caitlyn. He means interviewing EC3. The interview is cut short when Tyrus says he has a phone call. He hope it’s not WWE, but we heard someone call him Derrick.
When Rebel says she wants to go celebrate with Brooke, The Dollhouse beat her to death and shove a jawbreaker down her throat.
The Beat Down Clan vs. The Rising. Eli “Kevin Owens deserved it” Drake starts against MVP. Drake finds himself beaten by MVP, Kenny King, and Low Ki in succession. Still better than if Owens gets to him. Micah seems to want into the ring. We would not want to be near him. Drew Galloway comes in to bring momentum to his side, mainly because Micah helps to remove the other members for a time. Honestly, we think he could face both groups at once. DG and Micah get the win with the Doomsday Device.
EC3 says he was on the phone with someone that can alter Spud’s shot. So basically, the president of DA.
Mickie James is getting set to meet with the executives James Storm set her up with. She seems to be surprised that Storm is there. Truth be told, we’re surprised he sent her to a building instead of a shack.
Spud is out to make his decision. Before he does, Angle proclaims himself the only Olympic Gold Medalist in professional wrestling. Karl Malone is not happy. To further add to this, EC3 Then says that Spud is a fish swimming with sharks. Funny, that’s something Dixie said in her e-mail to the network. Speaking of her, EC3 says she is offering Spud to be chief of staff again. All it takes is Spud not to take his shot. Spud says to take Dixie and shove it. Strange, the network president said that to Bob Carter. After Spud turns his belt in, EC3 attacks. Angle then challenges EC3 and Tyrus later tonight to a tag team match
The Dirty Heels talk about the fact that they are 2 points behind The Wolves, and that they will need to do what it takes to win the 3rd match in this series. Afterwards, Aries gives Bobby Roode a gift.No, he’s not giving him what he gave Christy Hemme. He gives him a T-shirt of some sort.
Storm admits there is no deal. He instead proclaims he wants Mickie to join him. She’s shocked about Storm’s offer, but doesn’t seem to be shocked enough to stop trusting him. Guessing she’s not the sharpest bulb.
Match 3 between The Dirty Heels and The Wolves to decide the new Tag Team Champions. Aries breaks out the big guns early before tagging Roode in. Roode briefly remains in control before the double team brings the Wolves back. The Wolves can’t keep control during the commercial. Though the speed of this match keeps each team jockeying for the win in this brawl. After Aries takes Davey Richards out of the action, Roode attempts to win against Eddie Edwards. Aries wants Roode to use a chair, something he refuses to do, at least until the referee is distracted. A low blow and a chairshot later, and the Dirty Heels are on the board.
Thanks to the surveillance footage, we think Storm may have killed or kidnapped Mickie. Guessing the Nashville Police chief is named Wiggum given that we haven’t heard about Storm’s arrest. Either that, or Corgin was a bit overpaid to possibly out-Russo Russo.
Madison Rayne complains she’s doing nothing while Velvet Sky gets to appear on TV. Well you see we need to get Bully Ray back, and pushing her as a new Sting is required. When Velvet comes out, she looks like she’s had (more) work done. After Madison slaps her, Velvet beats her fierce, and gives her a “stunner”. Angelina Love brings her security to again take her away. We may have watched some old Austin matches to book this. Angelina keeps slapping Velvet only for Velvet to laugh. We have been laughing at the fact this somehow made it to TV. Event security then arrests Angelina for assaulting a fan. No, there will be no footage of shotgun wound-like cleavage this time.
Taryn then plans to expose a new side to the division. Guess this means she agreed to film that movie.
Angle and Spud vs. EC3 and Tyrus. EC3 and Spud start brawling like their paycheck is on the line. Tyrus creates room for EC3 to tag him in by clawing Spud’s face. Tyrus tags in briefly to do damage. Speaking of which, Josh’s kayfabe kissing management’s ass is damaging him as fast as his actual kissing management’s ass. After Tyrus tags back in, he gives the safest backbreakers we’ve ever seen. Seriously, he gently places Spud on his knee. EC3 tags back in to suplex Spud. EC3 stares much at angle, enabling Spud to come back and make the tag. Angle brings the fight to Tyrus. Angle and Spud team up to defeat the big man with an Angle Slam by Angle, and a pin by Spud. After this, Aries announces he will use his case after the match. We’d have him use it to have himself inserted into the match, but fans want to see Spud win.
So ends the first night of the Wednesday Night Free-For-All. While we maybe only be part of the first few months, we are at least glad to be part of it. Speaking of which, since it will be difficult to give all of these reviews quickly, we will review Impact around 11:00 P.M. next week, and NXT late night next week. ROH will sadly have to wait until they become the only promotion on the network. Until next week.