We decided that since Wednesday night is not easy to cover three
shows, we will stick with only one. That won’t stop is from doing a 3 review
WrestlePalooza. If we are not dead by the time we’re done, we will tell you
what we think. To make it easy, we have decided to break things down to ROH, NXT,
and us. Strap in, this will be a long ride. First stop: NXT
Recap of Owens best win so far. We hope they don’t screw it
up.
Tyler Breeze vs. Adam Rose. The fans chanting “We want Kruger”
really makes us feel good. Rose shows a viciousness that leads us to think
while he may not become Kruger, he may get to alter the character to where he
may be close to it. Breeze battles back. He’s another wrestler we hope can
break through. He’s sadly become the designated jobber. After Rose uses a
Boston Crab, we start to see a certain Afrikaner starting to break through,
though his attempt meets a kick by Breeze for the win.
Devin Taylor interviews Solomon Crowe, who wants a rematch
eventually with NXT Champion Keven Owens. Not sure he should until after Cena
kills him.
Dana Brooke is shown at more body building contests.
Strange, she’s not pretending to masturbate
Eva Marie getting booed like she booked the Rumble. Easy
everyone, she’s trying. Despite this, she makes it clear she will wrestle soon.
Regal announces Balor vs. Owens on the Japanese event next
month.
Carmella vs. Alexa Bliss. Carmella has no promo from Enzo.
Bliss has the Dubstep Seizure. Momentum shifts back and forth between Carmella
and Bliss. This match has the excitement Monday’s match sorely lacked. Bliss
used the ropes to win.
Devin asks Rhyno about his match with Balor. Rhino says he
wants to be at the top of the hottest thing in wrestling, and that Balor’s
tricks don’t work on a psychopath.
Zayn gives an update about his health. Thankfully, the
talent pool means he can recover normally
The Vaudevillains vs. Jason Jordan and Marcus Louis, who’s
still bald. Strange to see the Vaudevillians acting as faces. Jordan looks
strong. He keeps a chinlock on Aiden English, who is the Ricky Morton of this
match.. Gotch pins Louis.
A look at Banks. She talks like a heel, but her expressions
make us think she’d rather be a face. She says no one believed in her. We
suspect someone believed that.
Balor talks about Owens, and how the real deal will meet the
demon. Holyfield vs. Gene Simmons is worth our cash.
Balor vs. Rhyno is the main event. Balor uses his quickness
to gain early control, but Rhino uses his power to turn things in his favor. The
speed which control changes is real quick. Neither man seems to have the top of
the hill for very long. Eventually, Rhyno maintains control to sustain an assault on Balor. Even mocking some of
what Balor does in his entrance. However Balor does not quit. Even retuening to
offense late in this match. Rhyno attempts a last ditchgore, Balor rolls out of
the way and rolls him up for the win. Balor makes his way up before getting gored
on the stage to end the show.
Next: Ring of Honor
The Briscoes go off on Truth Martini and ROH Television
Champion Lethal
Will Ferrara vs. Kushida. Kushida is wearing a vest that
leads us to think if Claudia Wells walked out with him, he’d walk to the back
with Elizabeth Shue. Match is fast paced early on. Kushida being destructive
early on. Watching this match makes us realize that we may want to work here.
While Ferrera shows life at different points, the match is all Kushida, who
gets a submission win. Already 10 minutes in, and we have some action.
Bad Influence as we once knew the ROH World Tag Team
Champions come out to give a shot next week at the Championships to reDRagon.
Silas Young vs. Watanabe is the next match of the evening.
Young is brutalized for most of this match. Watanabe is quite a wrestler. Keep
him away from our management at all costs. The end of this match sees The Last
Real Man take control and rally back to win.
BJ Whitmer vs. Moose. Whitmer decides Colby Corino will take
his place in the match. Steve Corino has a look like he was asked if Pepsi is
an ok substitute. Moose mutilates the replacement in this match. Even
powerboming him outside of the ring. Moose wins a quick squash.
Truth Martini and ROH Television Champion Lethal talk about
why Lethal shouldn’t wrestle in the main event. They could’ve talked about our
show after this.
Main event sees The Briscoes vs. House of Truth. Lethal had
himself removed from the match. Probably a good thing as the Briscoes dominate
the early portion of this match. Dirty tactics however put the HoT on offense
before we go to commercial. Judging from the Discovery channels advertised,
they love this show the same way they did ours. HoT maintains control when we
return from the break. We see most of the tours advertised already passed by.
We think they used something that already aired in other markets to mock us.
Briscroes get the win, and then Lethal and ROH World Heavyweight Champion Jay
Briscoe brawl, with Briscoe standing tall to end the show.
Now we end with our show Impact
After a video for Ethan Carter III, EC3 has an a capella version
of his music to celebrate becoming #1 Contender for the TNA World Heavyweight
Championship. Co-Tweets of the night go to @WheelerDeeler WHY DIDN'T THEY GET
THE BE SHARPS and @newpatriot77 So you got the long lost sons of IRS to do
barbershop? EC3 wants Champion Kurt Angle to come out. Angle says Verne Gagne
and Lou Thesz would be rolling in their graves. We think Josh Mathews wrote
that. Since The Pope is there, we want him to hit Josh. Angle explains TNA
X-Division Rockstar Spud has his shot if he wants it next week. EC3 says he
will make an offer to Spud to try to prevent him from using his shot. EC3 has
the singers sing. He Angle Slams one of them.
Lashley vs. Eric Young. Lashley dominates in a manner
that suggests that we brought back the 2006 version of him. Young uses his
speed to sway the advantage in his direction. We like that he’s being buried
despite having a great WHC match. Unlike Daniel Bryan in the Royal Rumble.
Lashley however starts to outwrestle him before Young uses an eye rake. Chris
Melendez comes out to pay Young back for the exploiting his leg thing. This
enables Lashley to spear him for the win.
Spud comes in to the arena, and is asked whether he will
remain X-Division Champion, or go after the WHC. Spud doesn’t know, which sounds
like it would be a catchy song.
The Dollhouse discuss what TNA Knockout Champion Taryn
Terrell did to Gail Kim last week. They seem to ignore the whole ring stuff. We
imagine Taryn pawned it like a good TNA wrestler would. We also find out Awesome
Kong will get her shot.
Melendez says Young was surprised Melendez was there. We
kind of are too. Usually, someone leaves when they’re certain they won’t get
paid this year.
Aries advises Spud not to use his shot. While we get he
wants to keep the WHC clear, we’re not sure why given he’s battling for the TNA
World Tag Team Championships.
Jade vs. Brooke in a battle of the most colorful gear. Jade
aggressively attacks Brooke. Even though she’s in control, Marti Belle assists
her. It’s not as stupid as the women’s match everyone was subjected to on
Monday. Josh and Pope seem to debate about these woman. It helps they have
personalities. Brooke battles back before Marti puts Jade’s foot on the rope.
When Brooke attacks Marti, Jade accidentally kicks her friend, leading Brooke
to get the win.
Jeremy Borash says he’s assigned a duty he doesn't want. No,
he doesn’t mean sending out a photo referencing Bruce/Caitlyn. He means
interviewing EC3. The interview is cut short when Tyrus says he has a phone
call. He hope it’s not WWE, but we heard someone call him Derrick.
When Rebel says she wants to go celebrate with Brooke, The
Dollhouse beat her to death and shove a jawbreaker down her throat.
The Beat Down Clan vs. The Rising. Eli “Kevin Owens deserved
it” Drake starts against MVP. Drake finds himself beaten by MVP, Kenny King,
and Low Ki in succession. Still better than if Owens gets to him. Micah seems
to want into the ring. We would not want to be near him. Drew Galloway comes in
to bring momentum to his side, mainly because Micah helps to remove the other
members for a time. Honestly, we think he could face both groups at once. DG
and Micah get the win with the Doomsday Device.
EC3 says he was on the phone with someone that can alter Spud’s
shot. So basically, the president of DA.
Mickie James is getting set to meet with the executives
James Storm set her up with. She seems to be surprised that Storm is there.
Truth be told, we’re surprised he sent her to a building instead of a shack.
Spud is out to make his decision. Before he does, Angle proclaims
himself the only Olympic Gold Medalist in professional wrestling. Karl Malone
is not happy. To further add to this, EC3 Then says that Spud is a fish swimming
with sharks. Funny, that’s something Dixie said in her e-mail to the network.
Speaking of her, EC3 says she is offering Spud to be chief of staff again. All
it takes is Spud not to take his shot. Spud says to take Dixie and shove it.
Strange, the network president said that to Bob Carter. After Spud turns his
belt in, EC3 attacks. Angle then challenges EC3 and Tyrus later tonight to a
tag team match
The Dirty Heels talk about the fact that they are 2 points
behind The Wolves, and that they will need to do what it takes to win the 3rd
match in this series. Afterwards, Aries gives Bobby Roode a gift.No, he’s not
giving him what he gave Christy Hemme. He gives him a T-shirt of some sort.
Storm admits there is no deal. He instead proclaims he wants
Mickie to join him. She’s shocked about Storm’s offer, but doesn’t seem to be
shocked enough to stop trusting him. Guessing she’s not the sharpest bulb.
Match 3 between The Dirty Heels and The Wolves to decide the
new Tag Team Champions. Aries breaks out the big guns early before tagging Roode
in. Roode briefly remains in control before the double team brings the Wolves
back. The Wolves can’t keep control during the commercial. Though the speed of
this match keeps each team jockeying for the win in this brawl. After Aries
takes Davey Richards out of the action, Roode attempts to win against Eddie
Edwards. Aries wants Roode to use a chair, something he refuses to do, at least
until the referee is distracted. A low blow and a chairshot later, and the Dirty
Heels are on the board.
Thanks to the surveillance footage, we think Storm may have
killed or kidnapped Mickie. Guessing the Nashville Police chief is named Wiggum
given that we haven’t heard about Storm’s arrest. Either that, or Corgin was a
bit overpaid to possibly out-Russo Russo.
Madison Rayne complains she’s doing nothing while Velvet Sky
gets to appear on TV. Well you see we need to get Bully Ray back, and pushing
her as a new Sting is required. When Velvet comes out, she looks like she’s had
(more) work done. After Madison slaps her, Velvet beats her fierce, and gives her
a “stunner”. Angelina Love brings her security to again take her away. We may
have watched some old Austin matches to book this. Angelina keeps slapping
Velvet only for Velvet to laugh. We have been laughing at the fact this somehow
made it to TV. Event security then arrests Angelina for assaulting a fan. No,
there will be no footage of shotgun wound-like cleavage this time.
Taryn then plans to expose a new side to the division. Guess
this means she agreed to film that movie.
Angle and Spud vs. EC3 and Tyrus. EC3 and Spud start
brawling like their paycheck is on the line. Tyrus creates room for EC3 to tag
him in by clawing Spud’s face. Tyrus tags in briefly to do damage. Speaking of
which, Josh’s kayfabe kissing management’s ass is damaging him as fast as his
actual kissing management’s ass. After Tyrus tags back in, he gives the safest
backbreakers we’ve ever seen. Seriously, he gently places Spud on his knee. EC3
tags back in to suplex Spud. EC3 stares much at angle, enabling Spud to come
back and make the tag. Angle brings the fight to Tyrus. Angle and Spud team up
to defeat the big man with an Angle Slam by Angle, and a pin by Spud. After
this, Aries announces he will use his case after the match. We’d have him use
it to have himself inserted into the match, but fans want to see Spud win.
So ends the first night of the Wednesday Night Free-For-All.
While we maybe only be part of the first few months, we are at least glad to be
part of it. Speaking of which, since it will be difficult to give all of these
reviews quickly, we will review Impact around 11:00 P.M. next week, and NXT
late night next week. ROH will sadly have to wait until they become the only
promotion on the network. Until next week.
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