A special day after America has it’s birthday bash. The Hardys fight over a name.
We start with a tape of a strange birthday party where Matt Hatdy talks about facing Jeff Hardy. Short of Reigns killing his hookup while quoting Schwarzenegger, we may have the Gooker.
TNA X-Division Champion Mike Bennett emerges to proclaim him the greatest ever X-Division Champion. He says hi near-perfection is leading him to invoke Option C. This brings Dixie out. Bennett says it’s nice to see Dixie after she assaulted his wife. She says he’s disrespecting the X-Division, and he will be defending his Championship against the X-Division in an Ultimate X match. Eddie Edwards goes right to Bennett as DJZ leaps unintentionally after them. As Rockstar Spud tries to grab it, Braxton Sutter stops him, and looks to have possibly accidentally hit him accidentally in the face. Both Sutter and Bennett fight for the belt as Trevor Lee suplexes DZ to the ground. Bennett stops The Helms Dynasty, and at some point is alone in the ring. Bennett tries for it, however Edwards uses high flying offense to bring him down. Edwards then jumps out Gregory Shane Helms and Anrdrew Everett, leading to many others following. As Mandrews goes for it, Everett tries stopping him to no avail. Mandrews then jumps on almost everyone. This then leaves Bennett going for a ladder, but Edwards kicks him. This leads to a race where Edwards knocks him off, and grabs the gold to win.
A recap of last week’s main event brings us to a brawl between the challengers. Sure we SHOULD use both of them as invaders elsewhere, but that takes effort from Dixie.
TNA King of the Mountain Champion Eli Drake defends against James Storm. The match starts with Storm blitzing Drake, and giving him a He also uses a 10-punch. Drake uses an opening to get on a tear of offense before Storm briefly battles out. This sees Drake try to use his Championship, but Storm persists, using a lungblower, then a superkick. Drake ends up outside,, where he hit’s Storm with his Championship belt to get DQ’ed.
We see some of the Hardys’ match. We have become a backyard wrestling promotion.
Marti Bell taunts before her street fight with Jade.
A recap of the first bout leads to Edwards thinking about Option C.
Jade and Marti’s brawl starts outside before Marti throws weapons into the ring Jade takes her down in the ring before Marti hits her with a baking sheet while Josh Mathews ponders why many in a street fight wear jeans. He’s like a hipster Andy Rooney minus the genius. Marti hits Jade with a kendo stick, but that gets her mad. Jade gets Marti into a trash can, where she hits it with the stick, and kicking it. Jade goes for her package piledriver, but a BAAAAAACK BODY DROP! Results in both getting weapons. Jade’s nun-chucks beat Marti’s club. One package piledriver later, and Jade ends it.
Jeff needs a human mower.
Jeff is mowing his lawn, and playing guitar when wither Security-Concepts or Sky-Net attacks. All while Matt destroys the lawn. Just how high are they!
Bennett is raging about earlier. This leads to Billy, looking like Agent 47 got really sick. He seems perplexed. Dixie’s next to emerge. Dixie’s being asked to leave. Sadly, she refused. Bennett demands to get a Championship match or he leaves, Dixie is about to say no as Maria yells like she’s on blow, and Billy yells like a mother in K-Mart. This leads to Bennett saying he won’t quit, but that they made an enemy. He intends to ruin Destination-X. We already have that part.
More of this bizarre Hardy mess.
TNA World Heavyweight Champion Bobby Lashley tries to intimidate Edwards when asked about him.
Before BroMans battle TNA World Tag Team Champions The Decay, Jesse Godderz show’s Bram signing a multi-year deal of love with Rosemary. The Decay dominate for a bit, but seem shaken by what they saw. Jesse is whooped by Abyss, but launches himself out of desperation. Robbie E and Crazy Steve tag in. After Robbie dominates, he tags in Jesse, who locks in the Adonis Lock, but Rosemary breaks it. Raquel sends her outside, and a cluster begins that sees BroMans win using the BroDown.
Edwards makes his decision. He talks about being X-Division Champion again, and is about to decide as Lashley brings himself out. Lashley begins putting Edwards over before then saying he ends careers. Edwards says he’s not scared. He talks about wrestling hurt. Lashley then proposes both Championships will be defended next week. Edwards says it may be smarter not to go for the shot, but for all the X-Division guys, Both the TNA Championship, and the X-Division Championship will be decided. They both brawl briefly before Edwards grabs both Championship belts.
We see another ad for what may save the show.
A recap of earlier brings Ethan Carter III and Drew Galloway speaking about being suspended. EC3 says Drew should blame himself for last week. Drew says he gets respect for his wrestling. EC3 says Drew did not win. Drew says EC3 is in Drew’s way of gold. EC3 says he will be ready next week.
Matt tells the referee he’s only there to count a pinfall or submission. Jeff rides in on an ATV going into break. Back from break, they feel each other out before Jeff superplexes Matt. Jeff gets some sort of netting as a weapon and uses it. Matt hits a twist of fate that only gets two. Matt hits Jeff with a kendo stick before getting a ladder. Matt proceeds to push it in Jeff’s throat andthrow him around. Jeff reverses a side effect into a twist of fate. A swanton bomb gets two, and Jeff sets Matt onto the ladder. Jeff ascends another one, and swanton bombs off a tree. Matt hits Jeff, and uses fireworks. Jeff finds more, and they brawl near a lake. After they go in, Jeff disappears, and Willow emerges to choke Matt with an umbrella, and gets tased. Matt then pins what is revealed as a faux Willow. They brawl in dirt before Jeff uses a sleeper near a giant Hardy symbol. After showing scenes of this mess, Matt burns it, and gets a pin. Unless Jeff is going back to WWE, we suspect this will get stranger.
Well that happened. Not sure who to blame except Matt, Jeff, and Billy. Until next week.