Thinking about Owen today, it was 17 years ago yesterday.
Well there is hope for our show. The network hasn’t heard about our new offices, and may be with us for a good amount of time.
A recap of last week’s main event going the way they usually do, and hype for tonight’s brutal wars leads to Matty Todd, The Demon Barber of Orlando talking about evolving with a Boston accent even Eddie Edwards says is too thick. He talks about being in a full metal mayhem match as his accent becomes British. This Gooker may go to Billy. Rockstar Spud and Tyrus emerge. Spud talks about how dedicating himself to Matt has made him better, but Matt is not himself. Matt says he’s going to delete Jeff Hardy, then asks Tyrus how he feels. Tyrus basically says he does what is good for him, and agrees with Spud. Matt then says Jeff should face both Spud and Tyrus in a ladder match in order to wrestle Matt. Adding if Jeff wins, they are not to follow him. This bring s his opponent Ethan Carter III. An ad for Slammiversary. EC3 and Matt exchange momentum quickly as this match starts. EC3 then suplexes Matt, and throws him around before Matt battles out. As Matt then kicks EC3 and stomps him, fans are shown not to be into this new gimmick at all. EC3 kicks out, but is punched in the corner before a bulldog. Matt sends EC3 outside, where the fight sees both men attacking each other before getting back into the ring. EC3 then takes some more abuse before getting an Arnold-like second wind. This brings out Mike Bennett, who after a few moves by EC3, assaults him. EC3 was supposed to win by pinfall or submission. Good thing that the announce team mentioned this more often. Bennett says EC3’s redemption came to a halt. He says EC3 will not get his rematch before a literal mic drop.
Bennett explains what he did was art, and implies he played Billy. If Billy sees this, Bennett played himself.
Allie introduces Maria, who goes over the job she in a sense bestowed upon herself as fans ask to see Velvet Sky. Gail Kim emerges angry. She says she sounds like a broken record when she talks about how Maria is the problem. After both argue about wrestling, Maria says neither one are able to fight, but despite Gail challenging her, this leads to Gail’s job on the line against an opponent not named. Gail wants Maria, but gets Sienna. Both women brawl before Gail is sent outside.
Grado tells Mahabali Shera he doesn’t want help to face Al Snow, as he has a chain underneath a turkey leg. This angle is still going, and still painful.
BroMans talk on the phone nearby in a fairly funny segment until they know they’re nearby.
Gail says she will not let Maria defeat her.
A video of Grado and Snow’s feud shows us how bad our promotion has reverted to 2003. Snow says fans will not see him use weapons, obviously heeling due to his recent weapon use. He waits for Grado, who somehow doesn’t know Snow’s waiting to beat him up. Snow beats him all the way to area ring. The brutal destruction is interrupted by a plug for the network’s other show. Snow misses a moonsault, and gets his own powder thrown at him. Shera bring weapons that Grado uses before handing him Chekov’s leg. Grado uses the chain and goes for a pin before the former Legionnaires help Snow get a win. We’ve become the place you’re bumped down to when you are released from NXT. Perhaps you will get Crowe and Zahra.
Matt is sitting there as Reby and Maxel try to reach him. He’s fried, like this angle.
Jeremy Borash is talking about the destruction about last week’s main event before Bobby Lashley, wearing a certain MMA shirt, interrupts and demands the TNA World Heavyweight Championship. This brings out it’s Titleist, the reigning and defending TNA World Heavyweight Champion Drew Galloway, who says he almost won, and there’s nothing between them but ropes and air. We believe it’s are and a toothy-boy. Lashley demands the gold again before Dixie next interrupts. She says they will wrestle at Slammiversary in a match where in order to win, one has to either knock their opponent out, or make them submit. The MMA fighter is in his element as he calls the Champion a bitch. They brawl inside the ring with each other and security. Each man hitting their finishing moves. Lashley then proceeds to choke Drew with a cord, leaving everyone else on the ground. This segment and feud are well done. Are we sure this is 2016.
Ultimate X is set up quickly as TNA X-Division Champion Trevor Lee defends against Edwards, DJZ, and Andrew Everett. An ad for Best of better days DVD. Edwards starts by taking out Everett as DJZ sends Lee flying. As DJZ tries to grab the gold, Edwards stops him. When Edwards has to deal with Everett, Lee tries stopping DJZ again. This sets up Edwards to face off with Lee as Everett initially tries for it, but then is told to help Lee. DJZ works on both men, but the fend him off. Edwards is able to deliver a double hurricarana to both of the Helms Dynasty. Edwards tries grabbing the gold, but Lee recovers, and sends Edwards down onto Lee’s knee. DJZ uses his fast-paced offense to Everett, but Lee dropkicks. Edwards kicks Lee away and goes for it. Gregory Shane Helms distracts the referee. Even though Edwards has the X-Division Championship belt, but Lee grabs it to retain. Billy is a moron.
Sienna says she will rip Gail’s heart out. Haku says but can you do that literally.
EC3 says he will be making a phone call. We’re not going to let him down.
Gail vs. Sienna in an important match. The ability to get paid to wrestle is important, but Gail wants to stay here. Both wrestlers brawl as Maria and Allie watch. Gail’s agility sends Sienna reeling, and outside. Gail kicks Sienna, but is distracted by Maria. Sienna sends Gail down across the guardrailing. Once back inside, Sienna uses her power to throw Gail around until Gail uses a reverse DDT. Gail attenpts to fly, but Maria pulls her down when referee Earl Hebner is distracted. Despite this, Gail rolls-up Sienna to win. After the match, Gail attacks, but Sienna helps Maria wail away.
Spud seems wired as he tells Tyrus they need to win. Reby and Maxel say they need to get it done tonight. This angle is going to be a strong Gooker nominee.
BroMans find that basically, we repackaged Raquel into a TV-PG personal trainer. Interesting.
Next week sees Drew and Lashley picking the other’s poison.
Jeff vs. Spud and Tyrus main events. Jeff’s giving fans some of Bram’s multi-year contracts and Tyrus attacks him to start this match. Jeff holds him off with a chair before grabbing a ladder going into break. Back from break, Jeff uses some moves of doom on Spud, but is sent into the ropes by Tyrus when going for a ladder. Both men beat Jeff down in the corner, but Jeff sends Spud into Tyrus’ splash. Tyrus uses his power to deliver a Big Ending, and looks to end this match. His attempt to scale it proves to be a problem when he breaks the ladder. Jeff delivers a twist of fate. When Spud tries, he gets one as well. Jeff secures his match in a few weeks. Matt watches, but Jeff is ready.
A night of interesting action. But again, Billy is not worth much of his pay.