Thinking about Owen today, it was 17 years ago yesterday.
Well there is hope for our show. The network hasn’t heard
about our new offices, and may be with us for a good amount of time.
A recap of last week’s main event going the way they usually
do, and hype for tonight’s brutal wars leads to Matty Todd, The Demon Barber of
Orlando talking about evolving with a Boston accent even Eddie Edwards says is
too thick. He talks about being in a full metal mayhem match as his accent
becomes British. This Gooker may go to Billy. Rockstar Spud and Tyrus emerge.
Spud talks about how dedicating himself to Matt has made him better, but Matt
is not himself. Matt says he’s going to delete Jeff Hardy, then asks Tyrus how
he feels. Tyrus basically says he does what is good for him, and agrees with
Spud. Matt then says Jeff should face both Spud and Tyrus in a ladder match in
order to wrestle Matt. Adding if Jeff wins, they are not to follow him. This
bring s his opponent Ethan Carter III. An ad for Slammiversary. EC3 and Matt exchange momentum quickly as
this match starts. EC3 then suplexes Matt, and throws him around before Matt
battles out. As Matt then kicks EC3 and
stomps him, fans are shown not to be into this new gimmick at all. EC3 kicks
out, but is punched in the corner before a bulldog. Matt sends EC3 outside,
where the fight sees both men attacking each other before getting back into the
ring. EC3 then takes some more abuse before getting an Arnold-like second wind.
This brings out Mike Bennett, who after a few moves by EC3, assaults him. EC3
was supposed to win by pinfall or submission. Good thing that the announce team
mentioned this more often. Bennett says EC3’s redemption came to a halt. He
says EC3 will not get his rematch before a literal mic drop.
Bennett explains what he did was art, and implies he played
Billy. If Billy sees this, Bennett played himself.
Allie introduces Maria, who goes over the job she in a sense
bestowed upon herself as fans ask to see Velvet Sky. Gail Kim emerges angry.
She says she sounds like a broken record when she talks about how Maria is the
problem. After both argue about wrestling, Maria says neither one are able to
fight, but despite Gail challenging her, this leads to Gail’s job on the line
against an opponent not named. Gail wants Maria, but gets Sienna. Both women
brawl before Gail is sent outside.
Grado tells Mahabali Shera he doesn’t want help to face Al
Snow, as he has a chain underneath a turkey leg. This angle is still going, and
still painful.
BroMans talk on the phone nearby in a fairly funny segment
until they know they’re nearby.
Gail says she will not let Maria defeat her.
A video of Grado and Snow’s feud shows us how bad our
promotion has reverted to 2003. Snow says fans will not see him use weapons,
obviously heeling due to his recent weapon use. He waits for Grado, who somehow
doesn’t know Snow’s waiting to beat him up. Snow beats him all the way to area
ring. The brutal destruction is interrupted by a plug for the network’s other
show. Snow misses a moonsault, and gets his own powder thrown at him. Shera
bring weapons that Grado uses before handing him Chekov’s leg. Grado uses the
chain and goes for a pin before the former Legionnaires help Snow get a win.
We’ve become the place you’re bumped down to when you are released from NXT.
Perhaps you will get Crowe and Zahra.
Matt is sitting there as Reby and Maxel try to reach him.
He’s fried, like this angle.
Jeremy Borash is talking about the destruction about last
week’s main event before Bobby Lashley, wearing a certain MMA shirt, interrupts
and demands the TNA World Heavyweight Championship. This brings out it’s
Titleist, the reigning and defending TNA World Heavyweight Champion Drew
Galloway, who says he almost won, and there’s nothing between them but ropes and
air. We believe it’s are and a toothy-boy. Lashley demands the gold again
before Dixie next interrupts. She says they will wrestle at Slammiversary in a
match where in order to win, one has to either knock their opponent out, or
make them submit. The MMA fighter is in his element as he calls the Champion a
bitch. They brawl inside the ring with each other and security. Each man
hitting their finishing moves. Lashley then proceeds to choke Drew with a cord,
leaving everyone else on the ground. This segment and feud are well done. Are
we sure this is 2016.
Ultimate X is set up quickly as TNA X-Division Champion
Trevor Lee defends against Edwards, DJZ, and Andrew Everett. An ad for Best of
better days DVD. Edwards starts by taking out Everett as DJZ sends Lee flying.
As DJZ tries to grab the gold, Edwards stops him. When Edwards has to deal with
Everett, Lee tries stopping DJZ again. This sets up Edwards to face off with
Lee as Everett initially tries for it, but then is told to help Lee. DJZ works
on both men, but the fend him off. Edwards is able to deliver a double
hurricarana to both of the Helms Dynasty. Edwards tries grabbing the gold, but
Lee recovers, and sends Edwards down onto Lee’s knee. DJZ uses his fast-paced
offense to Everett, but Lee dropkicks. Edwards kicks Lee away and goes for it.
Gregory Shane Helms distracts the referee. Even though Edwards has the
X-Division Championship belt, but Lee grabs it to retain. Billy is a moron.
Sienna says she will rip Gail’s heart out. Haku says but can
you do that literally.
EC3 says he will be making a phone call. We’re not going to
let him down.
Gail vs. Sienna in an important match. The ability to get
paid to wrestle is important, but Gail wants to stay here. Both wrestlers brawl
as Maria and Allie watch. Gail’s agility sends Sienna reeling, and outside.
Gail kicks Sienna, but is distracted by Maria. Sienna sends Gail down across
the guardrailing. Once back inside, Sienna uses her power to throw Gail around
until Gail uses a reverse DDT. Gail attenpts to fly, but Maria pulls her down
when referee Earl Hebner is distracted. Despite this, Gail rolls-up Sienna to
win. After the match, Gail attacks, but Sienna helps Maria wail away.
Spud seems wired as he tells Tyrus they need to win. Reby
and Maxel say they need to get it done tonight. This angle is going to be a
strong Gooker nominee.
BroMans find that basically, we repackaged Raquel into a
TV-PG personal trainer. Interesting.
Next week sees Drew and Lashley picking the other’s poison.
Jeff vs. Spud and Tyrus main events. Jeff’s giving fans some
of Bram’s multi-year contracts and Tyrus attacks him to start this match. Jeff
holds him off with a chair before grabbing a ladder going into break. Back from
break, Jeff uses some moves of doom on Spud, but is sent into the ropes by
Tyrus when going for a ladder. Both men beat Jeff down in the corner, but Jeff
sends Spud into Tyrus’ splash. Tyrus uses his power to deliver a Big Ending,
and looks to end this match. His attempt to scale it proves to be a problem
when he breaks the ladder. Jeff delivers a twist of fate. When Spud tries, he
gets one as well. Jeff secures his match in a few weeks. Matt watches, but Jeff
is ready.
A night of interesting action. But again, Billy is not worth
much of his pay.
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