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Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Impact Review 2/9/2016

We all need a laugh after Awesome Kong’s release, Daniel Bryan’s retirement, and no more football for a while. At least Arnold had a moment.

Before matches, TNA World Heavyweight Champion Matt Hardy said he’s too rich to sell out, and he’s worth more than TNA. After Tyrus saying that there is a better chance of Winston Churchill coming back, and Reby saying they shouldn’t be cheering Ethan Carter III, Matt says he broke no rules against EC3. After berating Jeff Hardy, Matt wants Dixie to Walk out and fire EC3. This will either be mostly bad or really bad.

There’s this strange bodybuilding ad. Not sure what to say.

Bobby Lashley faces Bram to begin the show. We see both Madison Rayne and Rebel with cream, and Dixie enter. Bram puts over the assault on Jeff before re-signing before the match. Both men feel out before TNA Whichever It Is Now Champion Eric Young interferes. Despite this, Lashley suplexes Bram, and sends him outside. Lashley follows and resumes the assault. When Lashley gets Bram back in, Young trips Lashley. This move enables Bram to lock in his chinlock. Lashley gets out and uses his power to bounce Bram around. Despite a bit of cheating by Bram, Lashley running powerslams him. When Lashley goes for a spear, Bram reverses into a Brighter Side of Suffering. When Young misses a belt shot, Lashley spears and wins.

Tyrus lets Matt know he’s got top men to keep EC3 away. No, J&J are still as dead as Sheamus’ hopes to be WWE World Heavyweight Champion again.

Ad is airing here again. We may get annoyed by their soft porn look.

Kurt Angle says the fans make it tough to retire. He says he’s proud of his 10 years. Angle is interrupted by Maria. She says he needs a miracle. Mike Bennett then emerges and talks how he grew up wanting to beat Angle. Angle tells him to get out of his face. But Bennett says he’s better than the wrestlers Angle is set to face on his tour. Angle says Maria has bad taste in men. CM Punk is not amused. Angle slugs the head of Bennett, and says he doesn’t wrestle people he doesn’t respect, and says he’s wrestling Drew Galloway.

Beer Money have brought back the Boozer Cruiser. Now we don’t have to drive.

Matt’s friend and enemy, Gregory Shane Helms leads TNA X-Division Champion Trevor Lee against Tigre Uno. Tigre breaks out big guns early. Flying around the ring and locking in an abdominal stretch. Lee is able to turn things around because of his clothesline. Lee bounces Tigre Uno into the corners, and works on the good arm. Tigre Uno is able to quickly regain his bearings to take the match outside. Lee sends Tigre Uno into the steps and gets him inside. When Tigre Uno tries to fly, Helms grabs the leg, enabling Lee to use his fisherman’s buster to retain.

Before breaking to commercial, Beer Money enters. The Pope refers to the Boozer Cruiser as Being their General Lee. That ad again! What is going on! Bobby Roode says he wants to have a TNA World Tag Team Championship Match. The Decay speak about beauty. Roode says they may not be the Champions, but there is a fight. James Storm starts by using a team assault here on Crazzy Steve, followed by Roode with a sharpshooter. Abyss breaks the hold, enabling him to get a tag. After Abyss bashes Roode, he tags in Crazzy Steve in a way that seems… innovative. Abyss uses power moves before trying to chokeslam twice. Roode gets out twice. The second time leads to a spinebuster. Both Crazzy Steve and Storm tag in. After a backcracker by Storm, Abyss attacks. Though Beer Money gets both men down. After drinking while investing, Abyss drags the referee out for a DQ. This leads to The Decay attempting to use Janice, but TNA World Tag Team Champions The Wolves make the save. Not hitting a woman is TV-PG Strong Style. The Wolves want their belts back, and will give The Decay a match. Abyss agrees. Next week is a monster’s ball match. A polarizing idea, but the Champions accept.

Reby kisses up to Dixie in an attempt to influence her decision. Reby basically tries to reference backstage politics as the reason.

Grado jumps over the rail and grabs a microphone. He says he was screwed, and has proof. Keep it for family. Before he can reveal what happened, Eli Drake brings guards to try and get Grado out. Grado escapes with the proof.

Drew says he is ready for his match, We’re ready for Fastlane to be over.

Madison and Jade start with a brawl before Jade uses DBryan kicks in the ring. Jade sends Maadison off the ropes, but Madison attempts a pin. Jade uses a bow and arrow hold that Madison reverses into another pin. Undeterred, Jade uses the ropes to choke Madison. When Jade tries bringing Madison up, she’s met with a desperation enziguri. After a distraction from The Dollhouse, Jade ends the match with a cradle piledriver. After the quick assault, TNA Knockout Champion Gail Kim makes the save.

Billy talks about the tour, but Grado talks about being screwed, but Drake and guards stop him, and Drake slugs him.

Angle and Drew are next. Both men start with a tie-up. Drew works on Angle’s arm, but Angle reverses with a suplex. Drew is able to get out of a quick chinlock by Angle, but is back in one right away. After Drew gets out, a double clothesline brings us to break. This damn ad again! This is almost painful! Back from break, Angle reverses an aerial assault into an anklelock, but Drew rolls out and future shocks Angle to the outside. After a brief brawl by both men, Angle hits an Angle slam on the steps, then hits a second one in the ring. Amazingly, Drew kicks out. When Drew attempts a claymore, Angle blocks, so Drew gets Angle with a reverse Alabama slam. Drew then puts Angle on the top for a superplex. Anfter Angle fights, Drew hits a super emerald fusion, but only gets two. After Angle suplexes and tries an Angle slam. Drew continues the spamming finishers with two brutal claymores that get two, and tries one off the top and misses. Angle delivers several suplexes and flies off the top for two. By now, Angle goes for another anklelock, but Drew reverses out. Angle goes for a spear. And once more, finisher means little. Though Angle is bleeding As he is in a crossface. Angle reverses into an anklelock. Drew gets free and kicks Angle’s leg. Again a crossface. But now, Drew gets the win using it. After the match, they #WWEHug Tweet of the Night goes to @IFOWrestling: “Make no mistake about it, Kurt doesn't do that for Drew unless he believed he can be "the man" for TNA. #Respect” Great match, but could’ve used far less finishers.

Again we see this ad. We suspect they bought the network.

Matt is back in the ring, and wants Dixie out here. Dixie tries to say the door’s always open, but then Matt says because he’s the Champion, he wants it out here. Matt reacts to hearing EC3 the way WWE responds to hearing CM Punk. Matt tries to use the injunction EC3 kayfabe filed to justify his idea. Matt demands EC3’s firing. Each time she says no. Rockstar Spud emerges with the network logo on him. Spud tries to appeal to Matt before finally saying Matt needs to shut up. Matt again tries to make his wrongs right by mentioning what EC3 did to Spud. Spud says EC3 says what he does, and that Matt is jealous, scared, and is “running like a b----“. Tyrus attacks Spud and rolls him out of the ring. Matt demands Dixie to do it, but EC3 emerges ready to fight. ECe takes out Matt’s guards and brawls with Tyrus. After this, EC3 runs Matt off.

An interesting night. Strange to think management needed all of the last two years to get their act together. Well that was a good show. We plan on doing more on the blog. But until then, see you next week.

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