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Thursday, July 21, 2016

Impact Review 7/12/2016

We may end up with the Harris brothers asking what it is we do. If they watched last week, they’d know. Heck, we may have to do more than Mobile Strike.


A recap of the match WWE tried to rip off leads to Matt Hardy naming his dilapidated boat, and getting a shirt from his drone. Well, a freely basic ladder match match begins. It starts with a war even before DJZ and The Helms Dynasty are ready. Rockstar Spud tries early on, but DJZ pulls him down and slugs him before going after anyone within reach, including Mandrews. Braxton Sutter focuses on Spud, but a recovered Lee stopping him. This enables Spud to grab the ladder, but he, and Andrew Everett are send out, leaving Sutter and Mandrews to send Lee out. Spud’s return sends everything all over the place, as everyone gets one move before being hit. At the end, DJZ is alone, though his attempt sees him hurricarana Gregory Shane Helms. When Everett tries, Lee gets DDT’ed, and Everett is sent out. All from the winner, DJZ. After the match, Jeremy Borash interviews DJZ, who gets attacked by Mike Bennett


Ethen Carter III says he is dressed for a fight with Drew Galloway tonight. We are dressed to drink.


New, possibly unpaid, McKenzie Mitchell finds out from Dixie we have a new Bound For Glory deal.


TNA World Heavyweight Champion Bobby Lashley tells TNA X-Division Champion Eddie Edwards that he has only angered the destroyer, which leads to Edwards saying he has not, and will not, back down. He says he will anger Lashley by taking the TNA Championship. Lashley say it won’t happen. Adding he will be the best that TNA has ever seen. Edwards starts to respond, but is assaulted by the TNA Champion, who gets a chair before Davey Richards stops him. Who’s side is he on we’re asking.


TNA World Tag Team Champions The Decay yammer about something. Maybe Bram’s new contact.


Matt has a party where he shows the match while no one reacts. We got that by showing them the new Ghostbusters. Then they have to applaud.


TNA World Tag Team Champion Abyss against Bram. Abyss starts by throwing Bram around and scaring the referee. Bram tries several times to bring Abyss down, but is sent outside where Crazzy Steve attacks. Bram is sent back inside, where he starts to feel a surge and battle impressively, leading to a desperation chokeslam from Abyss. Rosemary walks down and says something to Bram, who rolls up Abyss to win.


TNA Knockout Champion Sienna finds a battle to defend with her opponents Gail Kim, Jade, and Marti Bell. Sienna and Gail brawl while Jade and Marti try to win. This leads to Sienna dominating inside. Marti gets Sienna down, and goes for a pin, though Gail stops it and is sent out. After all four brawl, Gail and Jade begin chain wrestling. Sienna interrupts, leading to everyone hitting a finishing move. Sienna gets the win using a silencer.


Back to batshit, Matt sounds like Keanu Reeves as he yaks about green beans, hating mustard, and deleting Jeff Hardy after break.


A recap of Davey seemingly saving the day, Lashley says about Edwards he will break! Son of a bitch. Him! Son of a bitch. In half! Son of a bitch. He invites Davey to watch the match.


A recap of last week’s main event leads to Matt emerging. Matt hams this up as he says last week he was in the greatest match in wrestling. Matt says he will bring Jeff out one last time. This leads to Jeff without music. This leads the word obsolete for some reason. Matt says Jeff is no longer employed here, and says he will not be able to wrestle elsewhere, and makes him a slave. This is going too long, and seems pointless. Won’t top the match itself.


DJZ wants to face off with Bennett. This may not end well for him.


Bennett battles DJZ. Bennett starts by blitzing DJZ and booting him in the face. Despite this, DJZ keeps trying, using a dropkick to knock him down. Bennett gets DJZ downed a few times, and sets him up top. When DJZ reverses, this leads to a battle outside. Bennett goes to leave, but the X-Division stop him, forcing him inside, and he gets pinned. Bennett yells a bit.


Drew says neither he nor EC3 want to settle this peacefully.


Someone pointed out we have a mouse pointer on the screen. Only us.


Bennett yells about someone needing to get here. Well you may bet your sweet Billyclub who it may be.


Drew says that because we are not making the match, he wants EC3 right now. EC3 says he respects Drew, but the battle is on. Both men brawl their way to the outside. Drew tries to suplex EC3, but EC3 reverses it. This leads to Drew getting a chair, but EC3 grabs it and throws it. Drew then throws EC3 into the rail, and then they slug up the ramp, leading to a Drew headbutt. Drew pushes EC3 to the back, where everyone splits them up.


Davey tapes Eddie’s fists before the match, saying he wishes he could be in the match, but he is supporting him.


A reminder next week are some sort of playoffs. Wha, PLAYOFFS!


Lashley vs. Edwards is the main event. Both men start by showcasing power, and speed. Lashley’s power leads to a shoulder in the corner to Edwards by Lashley, before Lashley powers out of a sleeper hold. When Edwards tries to fly at Lashley outside, there is a brief advantage by Edwards. As Lashley brings his power back into this, he goes to spear Edwards on the steps. Edwards reverses, but is given a spear going into break. Back from break, and Lashley bashes Edwards while choking him on the rope. Lashley then throws Edwards around, and puts him in a chinlock. When Edwards gets out, Lashley clotheslines him. Lashley then elbows Edwards before setting him up on his shoulder. Edwards then uses his speed to get out of the attempt, send him outside, and fly several times through the rope. Once back inside, Lashley’s elbow does little to stop Edwards, who then elbows Lashley, and gets him up on the turnbuckle. Edwards delivers a hurricarana, sending Lashley to the mat. A ref bump sees Lashley grab his gold. Davey helps to get Lashley to the ground. When Edwards goes for a pin, this leads Bennett and Moose attacking everyone. Dixie says Lashley will be wrestling Edwards in a cage next week.


Well things are moving, so you may see these late.

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