Monday, May 18, 2015
Pull the Trigger: Dean Ambrose Should Win the WWE Championship on May 31
The Internet Wrestling Coroner held Dean Ambrose's wrist, checking for a pulse, on December 14. Looking like a royal cocksnot after a television magically blew up in his face, resulting in his show-ending loss to Bray Wyatt, seemed to be the death of WWE's bosom-loving wildman, with subsequent televised losses to Wyatt amounting to shovels full of dirt on a still-twitching corpse.
Fortunately, Ambrose is the sort of character that can survive multiple assassinations. Check that, Ambrose is the sort of person that can survive multiple assassinations, like Cesaro, Bryan, and the lot. His fanbase is unyielding. He can't be killed off. Start pushing them again after a lull, and the fans will respond in kind, both their awakened fanbase and a host of new fans interested in this star with sudden momentum. Rob Van Dam was the ideal caretaker of this role eons ago, and Ambrose fits the mold today.
It should come as no surprise that Ambrose's crowding of the Payback title match was welcomed by the fans who can be iffy on Orton and were just having none of Reigns. His great match with Rollins that facilitated his entry into the now-fatal four way was a Raw classic, as Ambrose demonstrated the capacity to play a sympathetic babyface, despite resembling what Owen Wilson's going to look like when he's on Celebrity Rehab in ten years. More than the fact that the match was a fucking awesome use of 17 minutes is that fact that Ambrose, for his naturally caustic demeanor, easily slides into the role of underdog which can withstand the odds if you, the fan, just get behind him.
Everything Ambrose does tightropes between beautifully clumsy and startlingly natural.
Now Ambrose gets Rollins for the WWE Championship on May 31 in the shoehorned Elimination Chamber PPV. On the surface, those with pattern recognition skills see this for what it probably is, another notch in Rollins' belt as he builds his championship legacy up before he is to be thwarted by somebody loftier.
I dunno, Reigns and Orton were absent from Raw altogether, making Ambrose the only belligerent to combat the evil, immortal Authority. While this may seem like a way to put Ambrose out of his misery before resuming the Roman Reigns Push From Hell that fans could just as easily turn on again, I would argue that now is the right time to give Ambrose a run as WWE Champion.
Four reasons why I'd put Ambrose over at the Chamber:
1. The Network. I think it was Meltzer, possibly only half-joking, that said the rationale for holding the Chamber event on short-notice was in the hopes that fans wouldn't cancel their free-subscriptions in that one hour window between the end of the PPV and before June officially starts, and end up on the hook for another month, this one with pay. I'd take it a step further and say that just giving the fans something to believe in, boosting their morale to their potential apex, keeps subscribers happy. Creating a moment at the end of the Chamber with Ambrose standing tall could very well be that moment.
2. A worthy hotshot. There's a natural rematch in place for Rollins to regain the belt: Money in the Bank, two weeks later. Nobody would really bitch about an internet idol like Rollins fucking over Ambrose to get the gold back, and Ambrose could even lose it in a match where he's not even pinned: a ladder match. Have Triple H fuck him over somehow, Rollins can call himself a two-time champion, Ambrose can call himself a former WWE champion, and everyone's theoretically happy.
3. The time may never be better. On the heels of the May 11 Raw in Cincinnati, where Ambrose was hailed as a God by the crowd in his stated hometown, Ambrose predictably outpopped Reigns, Orton, and Rollins at Payback. The crowd reactions on tonight's Raw were a bit odd, and they were cool for Ambrose in parts, although they definitely cheered the idea of him smashing Rollins' head in on a cinderblock stack. Oddly enough, those cheers opposed the idea of him receiving a WWE title shot (per Ambrose's violent ultimatum), but the crowd had been lulled after a bad Divas title match and a tag team squash, so who can blame em?
4. You need to anoint the new hero once and for all. Punk's never coming back. Bryan is possibly done, and even if he isn't, that unknown expiration date looms over his furry head. Lesnar isn't there every day. Orton and Cena are played out, and are polarizing. Reigns is polarizing, despite not being played out. Ziggler seems combative with the office, hence his stop/start pushes. Ryback's fine, but he has a hard time getting excepted as "the guy". Ambrose is the only babyface that can cut a promo, work a great match regularly, get overwhelming cheers, avoid getting booed, stay healthy, remain bulletproof in the face of shit booking, and be believable as "the guy". The above bullet points configure a perfect storm that benefits Ambrose, while this paragraph is the trigger that makes the above points much more attractive.
Honestly, who says no to Dean Ambrose as WWE Champion? I realize in this company, logic can be soundly squashed out for reasons that even a psychiatrist would have to fend off a stroke from hearing, but at this point, he's the hero you need. You don't even have to sell the fans on him, either. You're already there.