Well it's that time of the year. WWE hopes the man that beats the 29 other men is not booed by everyone in the arena, on the internet, or are reviewing the show. And since this years Royal Rumble has a presentation that would make three Ptolemy's proud, we shall dissect the match for you to decide the likely course.
Pre- Show Match For Royal Rumble Spots: The Dudleys vs. Ascension vs. Mark Henry & Jack Swagger vs. Darren Young and Damien Sandow
This match has two tag teams, one put together team that surprisingly were World Heavyweight Champions, and a team of guys that wish they were in 2013. While there is a question why Titus O'Neill is busy invading Stardust's personal space, D'Young had to ask D'Sandow if he wanted to wrestle. He barely had the sentence finished before hearing "Yes". As for who wins, feels too basic to call anything other that The Aces and Eights winning.
Winners: The Dudleys
WWE Diva Championship Match: Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch
Becky has found herself at the heels of Ricki Flair for a while. And we suspect she will have her WrestleMania match. But right now, she has to have a shot to prove the champion is beatable. She will be close to winning, but Flair being the strong advocate of a right to arms, will disrupt the referee during a submission. This will lead to a DQ that makes as much sense as the average WWE film
Winner: Becky Lynch
WWE Tag Team Championship Match: The New Day vs. The Usos
The New Day are on fire lately despite the tragic loss of Francesca. While The Usos may be back, they aren't filled with enough momentum yet to win. Add to this that it is a Rumble defense, and it's obvious the fans want some New Day.
Winners: The New Day
WWE United States Championship Match: Alberto Del Rio vs. Kalisto
Silly WWE thinking they haven't beaten the "wrestlers look good in defeat" horse dead.
Winner: Alberto Del Rio
WWE Intercontinental Championship Last Man Standing Match: Dean Ambrose vs. Kevin Owens
We have two guys that are known for going all out in matches like this. While many wrestlers seem to lose matches they seem to specialize in. This match has DA almost like Rambo in First Blood II. It will be destructive, it will be brutal, and it may be match of the night. In the end, Renee Young gets to wear her belt once again.
Winner: Dean Ambrose
WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match/Royal Rumble Match: Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar vs. 28 Wrestlers
This is the match fans love to hate. While no one knows who is winning, they all agree the two guys looking like gods are Reigns and Lesnar. While there is a chance Lesnar will find gold once again, we see him preparing to either face Reigns later as a challenger, or getting ready to face Bray Wyatt/Sheamus/Owens at WrestleMania Lone Star. And while there is a shot Triple-H puts himself in the Rumble/makes a match right after, tonight sees Reigns emerge the winner.
Winner: Roman Reigns
Well that was fun. We hope to be here assuming the internet meltdown doesn't cause nuclear destruction to affect most places. Have a good evening.