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Saturday, August 20, 2016

Impact Review 8/18/2016

Boy wrestlers are falling against wellness like random guys falling  against Arnold Schwarzenegger. Well you're not going to find a policy like that here.
 
A recap of Bobby Lashley becoming TNA World Heavyweight, X-Division, and King of the Mountain Champion brings us to Lashley staring at Aron Rex. This may be a feud.
 
James Storm is out. Storm demands Brian Hebner come out. Storm tells him they are friends, but Hebner to answer for not doing his job at the start of the match. Storm says after the match started, he had Lashley pinned, and should be Champion. Storm wants a rematch, but Billy has a different idea. Storm doesn’t want to be touched. Smart move. Storm demands a rematch once again, but Billy refuses to give him the match while pushing him by saying maybe he can’t win the big match. This leads to Storm threatening Billy with a hammer. After tearing parts of the ring apart, Storm tells guards not to touch him. Storm lambasts Billy, and says he stayed for fans. But when a guard touches Storm, he strikes him. Billy tries to say to talk trash, not realizing this man almost murdered Mickie James. Storm is suspended like he did things with Eva Marie.
 
Mike Bennett hypes Moose while saying he will become TNA Champion.
 
 
A Bound For Glory ad.
 
A recap of Storm being suspended leads to Storm angry at everyone.
 
Eddie Edwards vs. Moose starts things off tonight. Moose starts by using his power to keep Edwards grounded until the match goes outside. Bennett provides the distraction, enabling Moose to powerbomb Edwards on the apron. Once inside the ring, Moose delivers snake eyes, but only gets two. As Moose uses a chinlock, Edwards powers up to use a jawbreaker. But Moose dominates once again. When there is an attempt to fly by Moose, a dropkick by Edwards leads to a series of moves that would’ve lead to a win, but Bennett distracts referee Earl Hebner. After this, Moose tries a pin, but nothing. A few quick moves sees Edwards Frankensteiner Moose, and leap toward Bennett. Once back in however, he is hit by Moose with the go to Hell to end the match.
 
Maria tells Jade she needs to win tonight if she wants a future shot at the TNA Knockout Championship.
 
Before the match, Gail Kim talks about beating the whole division, Jade is put over for talking about domestic abuse. Guess who goes over. After a feeling out early on, Jade downs Gail with a hurricarana. She then uses brutal chops, kicks, and punches that have Gail have to take the fight outside. Despite Gail’s flight, a gut-check by Jade forces both of them to return to the ring. Gail uses a BAAAAAAACK BODY DROP! And then a series of fast offense before going to pin. Gail tries to fly again, but Jade rolls out of the way. Same when she tries. Bringing Gail down again with a kick, this leads to a near double pin. Jade tries to kick, but Gail hits eat defeat. TNA Knockout Champion Sienna uses the AK-47 on Gail, and the silencer on her opponent. This somehow means Gail won’t her shot. Which means she will get her shot.
 
After Lashley bashes the X-Division verbally, one gets the feeling we’ll actually have them defeat him, but that makes too much sense.
 
DJZ vs. Mandrews vs. Rockstar Spud vs. Braxton Sutter. As the three faces brutalizes Spud, they try to get a pin. Mandrews then flies onto Sutter, and DJZ hits them all. Spud teases flight, but decides not to. DJZ and Spud are in the ring brawling before Mandrews hits a Northern Lights suplex on DJZ. This leads to Mandrews and Sutter exchanging moves before Sutter is attacked by Spud. As Spud attempts a literal curb stomp like he’s Edward Norton using the rope, Mandrews makes the save. DJZ then uses a double DDT to win.
 
A recap of Drew Galloway’s challenge to Ethan Carter III leads to EC3 saying he will answer in the ring.
 
Dixie tells Billy the that what he did was not right, and they need to tell Lashley what’s up.
 
EC3 wants Drew in the ring to hear his answer. After joking about Drew’s anger, EC3 says Drew will be surprised. Drew says he thinks it will be no because EC3 can’t beat Drew, and that EC3 thinks he did nothing wrong. Drew adds he’s lost three matches to get the gold back, and wants one more. EC3 tells him challenge accepted. Aron interrupts, and talks about how stuff like this is why fans are watching TNA. He adds they are seizing opportunity. Seems like one of these three men will be turning soon. Well anyway, Aron says he will be the referee in this match.
 
Eli Drake says he wants another shot at his King of the Mountain Championship. After exchanging a few words against Lashley. After this, Lashley jokingly looks at Sienna’s belt.
 
Matt Hardy tells Jeff Hardy, now using a Jake “The Snake” Roberts lens in his right eye, and one of Kane’s in his right, not to use ladders. Boy this angle seems more like we should test them.
 
And Matt’s ad is back.
 
Next week sees EC3 vs. Drew.
 
Drake talks about not being on the show last week, and mocking Storm. Drake then talks about how he’s talked to Lashley, who he says owes him a match. This brings Mahabali Shera, who demands a match. Shera uses his power to throw Drake around several times before a low-blow brings a brief bit his way. Drake uses a few quick moves, but when he gloats a bit, Shera takes the opportunity to hit several moves, but is hit with Blunt Force Trauma, bringing an end to this match.
 
Lashley says he doesn’t need to tell Billy or Dixie what he’s doing. His attitude may see us evolve our’s just a bit here. Be ready for a new us. No, we’re not stopping our heavy drinking.
 
Lashley emerges with two guys to carry the lesser belts. After saying he has all the gold, he demands Dixie and Billy to the ring. As Lashley brags he’s made them more money, they try to tell him he is the top wrestler, but he says he aims to unify them with the TNA Championship. They tell him he is not going to do that. Lashley then throws down the two lesser Championships one at a time before leaving the ring. After basically s---ing on the X-Division Championship without reprisal by the division, he will however defend the TNA Championship against the winner of a battle royal next week. Don’t worry, after the tapings, the trashing belts is not done yet.
 
Billy talks about the X-Division Championship, but not the other one.
 
The Hardys vs. BroMans vs. The Helms Dynasty vs. The Tribunal in A ladder match to main event. The teams brawl going into break. Back from break, Jeff is in the ring, trying to go up, but The Tribunal stop him. Matt tells Matt to fight, but both men make it tough. They then attack Matt as BroMans brawl with Trevor Lee over the ladder. The action is divided between the two teams outside, and the two teams inside. Lee is attacked by Matt, and Andrew Everett gets attacked as well. Matt brutalizes BroMans before getting slapped by Raquel. BroMans make the save, and then they aim to get the shot. The Tribunal bring them down, and then they try. Jesse Godderz stops their attempt as they hit Baron Dax with the BroDown. Matt is attacking everyone near him outside as Everett sends Robbie E outside. Again we see Matt being crazy, and funny as Lee and Everett eliminate BroMans for now. Matt hits Lee with a side effect on a ladder before getting hit by Everett. Jeff stops Everett’s attempt. Matt then wins the match for his team. Afterwards, Jeff flashes a look that perhaps says he may not be as broken as Broken Matt thinks.
 
Tonight’s action was good, but again, Billy’s writing shows us we should be ready to go elsewhere. Whoever hires us will find the best drunk team ever. Until next week.

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