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Friday, May 22, 2015

Slammiversary 2014 Review 5/22/2015

Well she did it. A year after Vince Russo nearly killed us by accidentally CC'ing an email to the wrong personDixie did the same damn thing. Once again, we are without a network. Boy that makes watching Slammiversary's replay tonight pretty interesting. Now we won't bore you anymore with our own impending demise, let's go back to a time when the Royal Rumble winner was hated, a legendary wrestler had a WrestleMania match that half the fans hated, and an email got us kicked off of the network keeping us alive And yes, we will write in the present tense. Onward to Slammiversary.

The FBI warning should be about watching the show. It leads us to highlights of better days. and a few bad ones.

We start with the six-way X-Division Championship match. Then-TNA World Tag Team Champion Davey Richards vs. Then fellow co-Champion Eddie Edwards vs. Tigre Uno vs. Crazzy Steve(of last year's Gooker nominee The Menagerie) vs. Manik vs. Then X-Division Champion Sanada(who did not like being a Great Muta knockoff). From the moment Manik attacked Sanada, this was fast-paced. Tigre tries to face both Wolves before getting a double-team by them. We go to commercial. Guess that means someone will be in a chain lock. When we return from commercial, Destination America censored "Holy s---." Which means the match is Morse code now Crazzy Steve does some weird stuff the ladder that certainly makes Chris Nowinski go "that's not a good idea." Sanada stops Crazzy Steve from grabbing the belt. At this point, Crazzy Steve would be WHC. Sanada attempts to grab his belt before Tigre makes the block. Once more, Davey and Eddie set off the Morse code. The crowd is chanting for Crazzy Steve. At the time we didn't have a lot of options truth be told we would have made a gorilla WHC if we could. Sanada retains after a brutal match. He was likely thinking "this is the high point of my TNA run so far." Sadly, this would be the high point of his run altogether. Great way to start the show.

Next, a qualifying match for the T NA World Heavyweight Championship match later in the evening. Bobby Lashley vs. Samoa Joe. Yes, that Samoa Joe. Even here, you can tell Joe tries despite where the company's devotion lay. Joe dominates early on against Lashley, who is in MVP's MLK stable. Boy does management like to make it obvious why wrestlers are aligned. Lashley begins to battle back against the greatest wrestler we let slip away not named AJ Styles were CM punk or Jon Moxley for El Generico... Anyway, Lashley powers out of a muscle buster to regain control. After a near red-bump, Lashley hits the spear leading to his win. Lashley is the first of two men that will face Then-TNA World Heavyweight Champion Eric Young, who's doing the gimmick of being Daniel Bryan, inside of a steel cage. Not a bad match, we hope that Joe can face that Kevin Steen guy everyone's talking about.

An ad for this year show. Yes we will have one.

Magnus(With Bram[With flair]) vs. Last year's Gooker nominee Willow(With Abyss). This is after Magnus was WHC in a reign that made him look like an absolute chode. To give you an idea how bad it was, the only match the didn't have any interference on his behalf, was the Championship match he lost to Eric Young. Magnus takes control early on against what essentially is becoming Jeff Hardy in a mask at this point. Mike Tenay calls a powerbomb a powerbomb-type move. guess we see were Michael Cole picked up his unnecessary pontification. Willow starts to come back until Magnus rolls out of the way this swanton. Abyss stops Bram from getting involved. He probably could've just said he saw Charlotte naked. Eventually it becomes a brawl between each the cornermen before Magnus and Willow. Bram decides to put down the turnbuckle that he stole and runaway when Abyss this takes out Janice. Strangely enough, many people run away when they see Janice or her daughter. Magnus eventually gets the first meaningful win he's had in a long time.

Current-WHC Kurt Angle is set to announce the next inductee in the TNA Hall of Fame. Do you know who he is? Angle is limping here due to a knee injury. Truth be told, there is rarely a time when he isn't hurt. He says being inducted in the Hall of Fame it says you've reached a level of greatness. We can certainly ask Sting about that when he left to go for the match everyone feared would happen. We notice a sign that says The Real TNA HoF A.J. Jarrett. Shame we never got to induct either man. Angle then reveals that it is the tag team Team 3-D. The crowd goes nuts of the announcement. By the crowd chance "we want tables", we can't help the ponder why these two men who are kayfabe a few months removed from trying to kill TNA are going into the companies Hall of Fame. We find what with our brand of wrestling, it's best not to think. Both men think the fans for this great honor. That "Bully Ray is a Brony" sign really means we should've kicked that man out with the quickness.

The second qualifying match sees fellow MLK member Kenny King taking on Austin Aries. You can believe there's a reason why Christy Hemme is not in the ring for this announcement. They put over several members of the Dallas Cowboys before the cameraman just suddenly swings the camera away. Guess he didn't like Pac-Man Jones was Tag Team Champion. X-Division quality action early in the match shows King has a great natural heel quality that makes you hate when he's in control. When Aries starts to shift the momentum, he starts ramming Kenny Kings head into the buckles repeatedly. No doubt again Nowinski is on the line. King's attempt to use the ropes gets broken by referee Brian Hebner. King getting into face of the referee is an opportunity for Aries to deliver discus forearm into  Last Chancery. Kenny King manages to get out and come back before ultimately falling victim to a brain buster off the top rope. Which time Aries gets the win. This means that now we have a steel cage triple threat match for the WHC.

Next Kevin Von Erich and his sons Ross and Marshall come out to a Tom Sawyer-knockoff song. Years after we signed Kevin's niece, we redeemed ourselves. The sign "Von Erich country forever" says it all. Outcomes  BroMans members Jesse and DJZ. Perhaps they didn't notice that Kevin Von Erich is wearing flip-flops, which means he is technically wearing his boots underneath them. Impromptu match sees the younger Von Erich vs. BroMans. Today brings up that the other volunteers were trained by Harley Race. Training with Harley Race means having to lug his Lincoln Continental up his driveway with the E-brake on. These Von Erichs are actually quite talented we should sign them if we have the chance and/or money. This "Von Erich" chant go without saying. The Von Erichs deliver a brutal assault that BroMans aren't used to. The finish sees Jesse use a chair for the DQ. Unfortunately for him, the Von Erichs fight back. even Seeing DJZ fall victim to Kevin's Von Erich claw. Surely not the last time we'll ever get the chance to work with these great wrestlers.

TNA Knockout Champion Angelina Love defends against Gail Kim. Angelina uses a weird let red light district-style silhouette entrance which isn't that bad considering WWE makes their wrestlers make LGBT jokes in 2015. Angelina starts off by throwing Gail around the ring, even countering a Mission attempting to the sidewalk slam. Angelina tosses Gail out to Velvet Sky who can't quite get the job done and gets a face full of apron. Well, kind of, as she shows a little light. Angelina attempts to capitalize and the distraction before she gets slammed right into the steel steps. Gail starts to control the match, at least until Velvet sprays Gail in the face. No, it's not what you think. This is enough for Angelina to go for her Botox injection, basically a fem-brogue kick, but strangely it only gets a two count. Earl Hebner forces Velvet to the back, and tells referee Brian Stifler to sit this one out. This is short-lived as a Gail dropkick accidentally knocks Hebner out girl then goes for eat defeat. Stiffler somewhat healing it up it's not quite go in in time to count. Already doesn't hesitate with Angelina has the pin. That's right, once again we go for a referee is partial to a particular Knockout angle. Again, we have some baby steps to go through, but but was still better than WWE.

Semi main event. Ethan Carter III vs. Bully Ray in Texas Death Match. Bully channeling Stan Hansen in bringing a cowbell out, not in running over our WHC with a truck. The most important streak in wrestling in 2014 is being decided here. Afterbully dominates EC3 early on, he starts tearing the side mats off like his name is Bill Watts. When Bully has tables set up, that's when EC3 comes out of nowhere to drag him back in the ring. EC3, like Dixie, is on the hit list for Bully to put them through tables. Surely Spike TV's no violence against women policy will hold up. EC3 goes under the ring and picks up a simple chair. With each shot Ethan says one word of the phrase "Over your dead body!" It is here Tenay first tells us the rules of the match which, like a last man standing match, involves reading your part it up until they can't get up for the count of 10. Bully then takes control the match and starts delivering chops on the chest of EC3 that leaves him than the state of Texas. Bully takes out a cheese grater in the tradition of New Jack, except this time EC3 is over the age of 18. EC3 uses a low blow, perfectly legal. E3's attempt to go off the top is interrupted with a superplex landing hip first onto the steel chair. Bully  whips out a Dallas Cowboys trashcan. we're not going to make a Tony Romo joke. He then uses a box cutter to take the ring apron, and the canvas and padding protection, off of the ring floor. The attempt at a piledriver leads Rockstar Spud dressed like Jack Nicholson's joker to come out. Unfortunately for Spud, Bully's like Michael Keaton's Batman. Is Keaton used a kendo stick to smash Joker right in the crotch. Despite a brief rally by EC3, including shards of glass, he ends up landing in a Bubba Cutter #OuttaNowhere Like Bruce Willis with glass in his feet, EC3 dies hard. If only because a run-in from Dixie. This causes Bully to yell "I'm going to kill you b----!" A miscommunication causes EC3 to inadvertently take out his aunt. this isn't on Spike TV after all.Believe temps you go off the apron this causes EC3 to hit them with the kendo would send him through the tables, propelling EC3 into the win column. One definitely sees at EC3, like a Texan named Mark, took a character that seems ridiculous on paper and made it work.

James Storm takes on Mr. Anderson. That's just an even start the ring both mentor slugging each other in the face by the entrance ramp, Anderson smashing Storm's face against steps. Once the match gets into the ring, Storm takes out Anderson's knee. Eventually Storm locks in the figure 4 leg lock. Even with it not a regular move in his arsenal, it's still better than that of The Miz. Anderson starts fighting back, including a clothesline while lightly selling the leg. Storm pulls Anderson by the tights into the second turnbuckle. After enduring an assault, Anderson comes back with his old Green Bay plunge finisher from 2005. Shortly after swinging the fight his way, Storm starts trouble with The Cowboys at ringside. Even giving them the middle finger. After being distracted by these members of the Cowboys, Storm walks into a mic check from Anderson who gets the win. In most fans minds, the Dallas Cowboys turned heel tonight.

Tenay and Taz start typing the triple threat steel cage match, which can only be one by pinfall or submission. The match was slated originally to be a one-on-one match between Eric Young MVP. However, MVP suffered a knee injury shortly after the set of tapings, which meant for three weeks we had to sell him his number one contender even though we knew he wasn't going to wrestle. When we said earlier Eric Young's gimmick is being Daniel Bryan, we were not kidding. He wrestled a match to become number one contender early one evening, and sold a kayfabe arm injury when he won the WHC. It is mainly because he has a scrappy bearded underdog look. Unlike WWE, we didn't have to be forced. Tenay makes a Rob Ford joke. That will remain fresh. Lashley proceeds to dominate early on. Even the periods where Aries or Young control, Lashley finds a way to come back and start tossing them around the ring, and even into the cage. Aries seems to be selling his match with Kenny King earlier in the evening. This factors into a brief rally where he powerbombs Young, and tries to bring the fight to Lashley. Later in the match Eric Young proceeds to deliver an AA with both men on his shoulders. And you thought only John Cena is allowed to have this little "Herculean Moment". After Airesis a hurricana to Lashley off the top rope, Young elbow drops Lashley for a pin. Aries makes the save and delivers  a brain buster to Young. Young kicks out. Lashley spears Aries. Young makes the save. After Lashley goes through the side panel of the cage, it becomes essentially a one-on-one match between Aries and Young. Young uses the side of the cage through versa brain buster into the piledriver to get the win. Hope we aren't asked to have Lashley win the WHC in a few days, when it would make sense to do it here.

Well that was Slammiversary 2014. One of our last pay-per-views, but certainly one that delivered in a year where not a lot from either promotion would. Will we get to hold another event like this, we don't know, but we can say this was possibly the last great event in our promotion's history. Well that's it for us. We will be back here Wednesday, until then, anyone know a company that needs bookers? Send them our way.

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