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Sunday, August 9, 2015

Bad PPV Summer Summerslam 1995

We are now three more to go on our tour of bad PPVs in the summer months. And we find ourselves back in 1995. Not a whole lot needs to be said, but we will fill you in on what PPV will be next. We will be watching Summerslam 1995. Settle in, this will not be fun.

Tonight will see WWF Champion Diesel vs. King Mabel. F---. Bret “The Hitman” Hart vs. Isaac Yankem. S---. The Undertaker vs. Kama. Ok. And WWF Intercontinental Champion Shawn Michaels vs. Razor Ramon in a ladder match. Ok, this will be good. Vince McMahon and Jerry “The King” Lawler introduce the show tonight. We are sent to Dean Douglas introducing the matches. We’re guessing he wants to go ECW 1994 shoot in his promo.

The 1-2-3 Kid vs. Hakushi. Hakushi’s character seems to be the Japanese answer to Taker. We imagine this means he’ll need a biker gimmick in 5 years. We see Kid and Vlad the Super Fan interact. Awesome. We see earlier on today on the Action Zone that Hakushi was pinned by Barry Horowitz. A lot of momentum going into this match. After taking their time, the match begins. They tie-up followed by Hakushi getting out of a hammerlock. Kid uses agility to armdrag Hakushi. Back to a lock-up. Hakushi is sent off the ropes, but shows his agility helps as well. Once again locking gefore Kid goes off the ropes to attempt a spinning heel kick, only to have Hakushi duck. Hakushi uses throat thrusts to get Kid down. When Kid tries to use agility this time, Hakushi starts to use power to send Kid into the corner before elbowing him, and stomping him in the corner. Hakushi then uses a bronco buster before playing up to the audience. Hakushiuses kicks to attack Kid’s legs. Sending him down quickly. Hakushi then starts kicking Kid in the head before bodyslamming him and Vader bombing him to get two. Hakushi then uses a “BAAACK BODY DROP” before kicking him out of the ring, and leaping out after him. Hakushi brings Kid in, and tackles him off the top. Hakushi goes for a splash, but Kid rolls out of the way. Kid goes off the ropes, and dropkicks Hakushi. When Hakushi goes outside for a breather, Kid goes after him. Once back inside, Kid splashes him for two. Before Kid can use any more agility, Hakushi hits a side slam for a win. A great match to start the show.

Dok Hendrix sounds like he did enough coke to put the 1980’s locker rooms of the WWF and World Class to shame. He is interviewing Mabel about his shot at the WWF Championship later tonight. Mabel screws up “Screw me once”. Say what you will about Bush, but he got the point across.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley, the future NXT genius vs. Bob Holly, the future Super Heavyweight genius. Triple-H vs. Vlad at WrestleMania. Triple-H hesitates to tie-up before Holly bodyslams and armdrags him. Triple-H gets a punch in to briefly take over. Holly uses some quick moves, but Triple-H starts throwing punches like Jim Ross reminds you why his fists are taped. Triple-H sends him across the ring before giving him a backbreaker to get two. Triple-H uses a suplex before going with a Harley Race Kneedrop. Harley Race only pulled a piece out on Hulk Hogan because he knew what the alternative would be. We see the British Bulldog has shown up to the arena as both wrestlers exchange abdominal stretches. Triple-H sends Holly outside, then brings him back in. Holly gets a DDT in, and breaks out a dropkick. Triple-H goes for a strike, but is inverted atomic dropped before getting a “BAAACK BODY DROP”! When Holly goes for another, Triple-H uses a pedigree to end it. Ok match for what it was.

We see yesterday that the WWF had a riverboat event between wrestlers and firefighters.

The Blu Brothers vs. The Smoking Gunns. ¾ of this match has major roles in wrestling in 2015 on shows no one watches. Billy Gunn vs. Jacob Blu. Jacob uses power to get Billy down, but Billy uses a pre-fameasser before tagging Bart Gunn. The “Super Studs” as they told Dixie their tattoos stand for use a team assault on Bart before the Gunns briefly use their own. Uncle Zebekiah roots them on while twirling his beardstashe with swagger while the Blu’s dissect Billy. After a kneedrop on Billy, only two. Billy gets powerslammed, but kicks out. Billy manages to grab the hair, giving him the opportunity to tag in Bart. Bart is compared to the One Man Gang as he tags in Billy to get the win with a flying legdrop.

A video for Howowitz vs. Skip shows Horowitz repeatedly beating Skip. Really doesn’t interest us/

Sunny says the third time is going to be the charm. Boy her voice can be grating at times. God bless Chris Candido for being able to listen to her yell. Horowitz starts the match quickly, moving into the third “BAAACK BODY DROP” of the night. A kneedrop to the throat. We think we can hear the Blu’s booing this. Horowitz sends Skip outside, and brings him back in the hard way. A kick below the belt helps Skip to get some hits in, but Horowitz battles on, and Suplexes Skip. Sunny tries throwing in the towel to stop the match, but referee Earl Hebner refuses. Guess the towel is good enough for two WWF Championship matches, but not a jobber match. Don’t worry, Earl will counter it by counting a non-submission two years later. Horowitz gets Skip back in the ring, but is tripped by Sunny. Not the first man she has screwed… In the WWF… during an event… On TV. Skip uses a legdrop, then snapmares him before choking him on the middle rope. Skip shows some light on a fist drop. After a bodyslam, Skip goes for an elbow, but Horowitz gets out, and goes for a few quick pins before getting caught in a hold by Skip. Fans yell for Horowitz, which sees him his a Lou Thesz press for two. But Skip regains momentum, and legdrops Horowitz several times. Skip gets Horowitz in the corner before Horowitz fights his way out. Both men go for a dropkick, but hit nothing. Skip recovers to try a moonsault, but has his leg kicked out. After fighting off Horowitz, Skip hits a diving headbutt. He breaks his own pin to try a piledriver, but Horowitz gets out, and dropkicks him. Horowitz goes to go off the top, but Sunny leaves him with a painful sensation in his crotch. After a superplex, Hakushi walks out looking to fight Skip. After Skip ducks… Whatever Hakushi had planned, Horowitz wins with a roll-up. This back patting moment is like if Zack Ryder beat Rusev thanks to Kevin Owens. We’ll leave that here.

Douglas goes over the finish. He also says summer school is in session. Interesting. 20 years later, and a different Mark Harmon work finds itself on before RAW. The More things stay the same. Douglas calls Horowitz a slacker. Guess this means Horowitz knows a guy that ripped off extremists for his own gain. Though between McMahon and Eric Bischoff, he knows two.
Todd Pettingill ready to talk to Michaels about the ladder match before we see the one from WrestleMania X. Michaels says that the ladder match is a grueling match, and that Michaels is putting the Intercontinental Championship on the line out of choice to prove he’s the best. Don’t tell the Marines that.

Bertha Faye vs. WWF Women’s Champion Alundra Blayze. Rhonda Singh really does not deserve this gimmick. But until some girl named Ronda, Serena, or Alex does something that the WWF can talk about endlessly, this is her new gimmick. Bertha goes to lock-up, but Blayze ducks and kicks her in the face. Blayze engiguris her and keeps going with kicks. Bertha uses a few power moves to swat things back her way. Bertha bodyslams Blayze, and legdrops her for two. Blayze rolls out of the way of Bertha’s splash, and victory rolls her to get two. Lawler keeps mocking Bertha’s weight and face as he starts acting like a douchebag face instead of a douchebag heel. Blayze starts to move quickly with several maneuvers before going for a pin. Harvey Whippleman distracts the referee. Blayze chases him around before going back to pin Bertha. Again Bertha uses power before a Frankensteiner by Blayze gets two. Blayze oes for more moves before Bertha uses a powerbomb to get the pin. Both wrestlers in this match, as well as the manager, either have been, are, or will be, WWF Women’s Championship. JR tries to get a word with Bertha before Harvey cuts him off. Then yells about her deserving it. Bertha then gloats about the gold. Blayze will regain it in October, then throw it in a trashcan in WCW, then take it out of a trachcan ah the WWE Hall of Fame.

A video for Taker battling Kama goes over stolen urns, melted urns, weird fans protesting callous actions, and attacked fans. Paul Bearer in a promo for video fans talks about how Taker will put an end to Kama. Taker says Kama dug his own grave. Diggin’ ain’t easy.

Taker vs. Kama in a casket match. Seems like every 20 years Taker faces at Summerslam a wrestler who either is an MMA badass or plays one on TV. Taker starts by throwing soup bones at Kama before lifting him for a two-handed choke. Taker is distracted by Ted DiBiase, but the offense of Kaama is brief before being sent onto the casket. Taker then uses a few more power moves before hitting future old school. Taker motions for the lid, and puts Kama in. Kama quickly gets out before the lid can be closed. He then hits a clothesline from the top. Taker uses a Jason Spot to get back up. He then goes to splash Kama, but is his with a slam. Kama attacks during the Jason Spot, and goes to put Taker inside. Taker manages to get out, but DiBiase distracts again. Kama starts slugging away before attacking Taker’s arms with kicks. Kama then stomps on Taker as Taker is trying to get back up. Kama continues his assault as fans yell “Rest in peace”. Taker is thrown onto the casket. As he tries to get back in, Kama sends him out. DiBiase stomps on the man he kayfabe brought in in 1990 while Bearer tries to stop him. Kama then gets out to brawl with Taker. Despite DiBiase’s interference, Taker fights back, until Kama sends him into the ringpost, then on the casket several times. With Taker on it, Kama can’t open it. After a baseball slide, Kama goes for a piledriver, but Taker reverses. Taker then brawls in the ring with Kama, who after a powerslam, tries to pin Taker. This leads to a chinlock. Kama uses the ropes without any risk of a DQ. Kama breaks, then re-applies the hold. Taker gets out of the hold with a suplex, then briefly collects his bearings before Kama kicks him several times. Taker ducks the clothesline before hitting his clothesline. Both men end up in the casket, destroying the lining. Taker drags Kama back in, and punches him several times before both men escape. Taker goes for a “BAAACK BODY DROP” before Kama swinging neckbreakers him. Taker’s sent off the ropes, ducks a clothesline, and hits a chokeslam. Taker then tombstones Kama. Taker them rolls Kama into the casket, and shuts it to win. A good brawl that delivered.

From one brother of destruction to another. We mean…

A video highlights Bret’s feud with Lawler, which sees Lawler, from Memphis, recruit his own dentist, from Illinois to face Bret. Not sure why. Yankem is referred to as a tooth fairy, which possibly means he will torture Pettengill, then burn him.

Bret vs. Yankem. After the future Kane walks down dressed like a giant Tim Whatley, Bret tells Pettengill that Lawler’s angry about kissing two feet, but that Yankem may get his teeth knocked out. 1995 Bret is like January-March 2015 Daniel Bryan. Fans want him higher up, but is in the midcard. Side note about Kane/Yankem, he is also known for a run down in Smokey Mountain Wrestling, but is here on behalf of USWA’s Lawler. A brief lock-up by Bret then sees Yankem start to slug Bret numerous times. Bret battles back, but Yankem is able to battle into position with a bodyslam. Bret rolls out of the way of an elbow, but his offense is brief. Yankem sends Bret into the corner, elbows him, then sends him across. Bret rolls out of the way, and uses clotheslines to send Yankem outside. Bret then leaps out after him, and stomps away. Bret sends him back in before clotheslining him from the top. Bret goes for a sharpshooter, but Yankem prevents this. So bret returns to strikes. Bret slides Yankem to get two. Bret goes off the ropes, but is caught by Yankem, who sends him down on the rope. Bret is then send sternum first into the turnbuckle. A two-handed choke then leads to Yankem choking Bret. Then Yankem attempts a pin, but gets two. Bret is able to reverse a pull by Yankem, and get two. Then Yankem starts kicking Bret in the ribs. Bret is attacked along the ropes by Yankem, forcing referee Mike Chioda to pull him away. Bret is then send outside, where Yankem sends him into the post. Bret struggles to get back into the ring, but Yankem chokes him again on the rope. Bret is hanging when Yankem his a John Cena-like top rope legdrop to get two. After all of this, Yankem uses a series of damaging clotheslines before getting out of the ring for a breather. Bret leaps after him, and sends him inside. After Bret bulldogs him. After several different moves of doom by Bret. Finally Bret can use the sharpshooter. Lawler then puts Yankem’s hand on the rope, forcing Bret to break it. When Yankem goes after Bret, he is sent outside. After their brawl outside, Yankem goes to Splash Bret, Bret however reverses. Bret slides outside, and uses cords (“ARE YOU SERIOUS” says Batista) to restrain Yankem while he goes after Lawler. However Yankem gets out, and goes after Bret, bringing him inside. Bret is able to duck a punch and go off the ropes. When Lawler helps Yankem tie-up Bret in the ropes the referee DQ’s Yankem. Several referees and officials run down and free Bret. As ridiculous as his gimmick here is, Yankem will get a more enjoyable gimmick as we get Bret going to the back.

Hendrix the coked up chicken asks if Razor will repeat as Intercontinental Champion while we see Bret helps along. Razor reminds everyone he’s part of the new generation, and that Michaels’ pain is his pleasure.

Michaels vs. Razor is the next match. Seeing big crucifix earrings makes it seem like Michaels knows what 2002 holds for him. Hendrix is here to provide commentary because Lawler went to the back. Hope he doesn’t crash. The commentators treat the last two years of Intercontinental reigns as hot potato. Vince Russo accepts that as his challenge. After both men push each other, they begin a series of feeling out periods. They reverse each other’s arm holds before Razor sends Michaels outside. Razor goes to get the ladder, but Michaels stops him and goes to bring him back inside, but Razor suplexes him back outside. Razor then stomps on Michaels before bringing him in to try a Razor’s edge. Michaels reverses and goes to hit sweet chin music, but Razor avoids it, throws Michaels around, and hits a fall away slam off the second turnbuckle. Razor then goes and gets the ladder as Sycho Sid watches. He will face the winner next month on RAW. As Razor goes to climb, Michaels stops him. Michaels hits Razor with the ladder, and sets it back up. Razor goes to pull Michaels down, but briefly kicks him away. Razor does knock him off, and pre-Pillmanize Michaels’ left leg with the ladder. Razor then smashes Michaels’ knee against the ladder several times before hitting him in the knee with it. Razor slams him down leg first on the ladder. Razor sets up the ladder to Irish whip him into it. After Michaels avoids this, Razor goes to attack some more before he is sent into the ladder in the corner. Razor is able to bring Michaels down on the ladder though, and resumes the assault on the knee. Michaels uses his free leg to send Razor outside, but Razor’s assault is not stopped. Razor smashes Michaels’ leg against the post. A yay boo starts in the ring before Razor uses a drop toe hold. Chants for Razor start as he throws the ladder on Michaels’ leg. Razor then sets up the ladder, but Michaels uses everything he has to get to the top, and kick the ladder. Razor tries to send Michaels into the ladder, but Michaels reverses. As Razor again tries to go up, Michaels delivers a belly-to-back suplex to send Razor down. Michaels then leans the ladder in the corner, and Irish whips Razor into it. Michaels repeats this before stomping and slamming Razor. Michaels then moonsaults Razor from the top of the ladder. He then goes to splash Razor, but Razor rolls out of the way. With both men down. Razor sets up the ladder and tries to go up while Michaels tries as well, and Hendrix acts like he’s on coke. A yay boo on the top sees both men hit the rope on the way down. Michaels starts to set up the ladder, but sees Razor getting back up, so he lunges with the ladder. Both men are on the outside again. Michaels uses the ladder to get back in, while Razor grabs a second ladder from under the ring. As Michaels is trying to climb, he is caught, and hit with the Razor’s edge. Both men are down, but Razor recovers enough to set up his second ladder while Michaels is able to bring his ladder up. Both men try for it before Michaels kicks Razor. Michaels almost has it, but he slips. Razor goes for another Razor’s edge, but Michaels reverses and sends him outside. Michaels scales the ladder, has his finger on it, but slips. Michaels uses the second ladder to reach it, and grab it to win the match. Razor pushes Hebner away, but then hands Michaels the Intercontinental Championship. The first one was classic, this one came close to matching it, but is still good in it’s own right.

Douglas starts to describe bad, and why Razor deserves that honor. Razor walks in and gets ready to his him. When Douglas takes a swing, Razor hits him.

Diesel vs. Mabel. After the mast match, does this have hope of being good is the question. Pettengill asks Diesel about the royal plan. Leading Diesel to say he’ll get medieval on him tonight. Guess Bruce Willis saved Diesel. After Mabel poses with the WWF Championship, the match begins. Diesel punches Mabel, who knocks him down and yells “I’M GONNA BE THE FIRST BLACK CHAMPION”! The Rock laughs in his dorm room. Mabel then starts kicking before trying to send Diesel into the corner. Diesel reverses, and starts slugging Mabel. Diesel goes to slam him, but he’s too big. Diesel tackles Mabel to the outside of the ring. Diesel actually leaps over the top to get to Mabel. May not be like how Taker does, but we applaud him. Mabel sends Diesel into the post, giving him time to get into the ring. Diesel follows him, and starts punching and kneeing him before Mabel sends him into the buckle. Mabel splashes Diesel before trying to get him up. Mabel sends Diesel into an exposed buckle, and attempts an elbow drop before Diesel rolls out of the way. After a ref bump, Mo gets involved before Lex Luger tries to stop him. Mabel then legdrops Diesel on the outside. Luger finally gets Mo out of there in his last month in the promotion. Mabel belly-to-belly’s Diesel, but only gets two. Mabel tries to go off the buckle, but Diesel rolls out of the way. Diesel clotheslines Mabel, and gets three. Guess they forgot about Bulldog being involved and everything.

Well Summerslam 1995 wasn’t all bad, but it certainly wasn’t anything special. Some weird, mostly stupid, gimmicks, as well as an unspectacular main event, brought the show down a bit. In other words, it’s 1995. Well that’s it this week. Join us next week for the penultimate edition of Bad PPV Summer.

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