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Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Impact Review 8/12/2015

Tonight begins an invasion. We tried to get Shane McMahon, but he’s busy making more than his dad. Enough of what we don’t have, let’s watch the mess we do have.

We see the stars of Global Force Wrestling getting ready to walk out. Once they do, GFW President, and TNA KOTM Champion Jeff Jarrett talks about how proud he is that his career as a wrestler is over, and that he started a new promotion. He highlights how this will be the start of a new rivalry between he two promotions. Jarrett talks about TNA X-Division Champion Tigre Uno vs. Sonjay Dutt, Awesome Kong vs. Lei’d Tapa, TNA World Tag Team Champions The Wolves vs. Trevor Lee and Brian Myers. When Jarrett announces who will face off for the KOTM Championship, this brings Eric Young, who talks about how Jarrett may be the bookerman, but that he’s the real Champion. Young then challenges Jarrett. Jarrett says he could do that, but he’s here for fans, and that he’s no longer a wrestler. Jarrett talks about the belt meaning something to several promotions, and puts Young in the match. After Young attacks Jarrett, wrestlers from both promotions start to brawl into commercial. Return of Tweet of the night goes to @JBLsDragon: #TNAvsGFW is basically TNA has beens vs TNA currently aren'ts.

An ad for Bound For Glory, which we may not have.

After a recap of the assault, Jarrett says not to focus on invading, but to focus on wrestling. Ok.

A recap of Bully Ray’s assault gives the update of no clear return. He’s gone.

Kong vs. Tapa (With Royal Red) starts the night. Red starts yelling about how Tapa dominates, and says to bow to her. Don’t tell Ivelisse. Thing brings Kong down. They both use power moves to no effect. Apart from the promo, not sure who’s the face. Kong takes advantage, and crossbody’s to get two. Tapa gets up, and kicks Kong, but only gets two. The commentators reference The Barbarian, but should also reference Haku. Kong starts battling back, and splashes Tapa. Kong goes to run after Tapa, but a well placed kick leads to a Samoan drop by Tapa. Kong manages to use a few fists, and then Kong chokeslams Tapa. After Tapa gets up, Kong sends her out. Tapa brings her out as well, leading to a brawl up the ramp for a double countout. Kong does send Tapa down to the ground, but few will job.

We get to speak to one of the men in tonight’s main event, PJ Black. The former Justin Gabriel says he’s here to try new things. We imagine winning is one of them.

Drew Galloway will also be in the match, and says he will win for TNA.

Bobby Roode starts to say he is angry at this point. We imagine he’s not getting paid. Roode is angered he’s not in the KOTM match tonight. All these guys want to hold a belt that even in kayfabe, means nothing. Roode wants to speak to Rockstar Spud. We get a recap of Spud defeating Austin Aries, sending him out to freedom. Roode says Spud should be proud of himself for ending Aries’ career. Spud says that Roode is a being condescending. Spud then talks about all the accomplishments he has had in wrestling. Spud then says Roode is a bully that wants lunch money, and that Spud is the one to stand up to him. Roode says Spud is right, and that he used his ability to defeat Aries, but that he will take his aggression out on Spud. He tells Spud that he’s no Aries, he’s the longest reigning TNA World Heavyweight Champion, and that no one will stop him. Spud says any other day, Roode would be right. Spud then punches Roode, but Roode gets the better of him. Hitting him with a microphone before choking Spud with his own jacket. After the initial assault, Roode stares at Spud before throwing him out of the ring, and sending him into the steps before using the crossface. “Having Spud strike first and still get killed a week after sending someone out is a surefire way to make him a main event star” Billy said.

Jarrett asks Roode why he did that, Roode tell him he’s sending management a message. Hoping that message is goodbye.

Bobby Lashley vs. Jesse Godderz for a spot in the main event is next up. Cena-Lyte vs. Orndorff-Lyte. Jesse pushes Lashley, but Lashley pushes back, and military presses him. Josh Mathews references Ronda Rousey like it’s a #DivaRevolution segment. After a suplex from Lashley, he goes for a sper, but Jesse rolls out of the way. Jesse uses a dropkick before using forearms across the face. Jesse then uses knees to the back of Lashley before squeezing Lashley’s stomach. Lashley breaks out, and brings Jesse down. Lashley then starts using several more suplexes before spearing Jesse into the corner, sending him down, then going to spear him, but runs into a powerslam to get two. Jesse goes for his Adonis Crab, but is sent off the ropes into a spear. Not the worst match we’ve seen, but pretty forgettable.

A recap of last week’s match between TNA Champion Ethan Carter III and Matt Hardy. Definitely the best match we’ve shown in a while.

Drew is shown having been assaulted. Taryn Terrell has struck again, or Jarrett has struck initially.

The Jarretts tells Dixie they have replacements lined up. Boy even Sting says don’t trust him, and he trusted WWE not to f--- it up.

EC3 and Tyrus walk down to discuss last week’s victory. EC3 talks about how the belt is the culmination of his work. Definitely the work he started in Florida anyway. EC3 says last week he was in a car crash, and despite Matt picking the stipulation, EC3 won, and that he’s in God mode. Before you can say IDDQD, Matt walks down. Matt says EC3 has proven he’s among the greats, but that Matt is not going away. EC3 says he respects Matt for the fight he gave, and that the fans decide if Matt gets another shot. Despite the fans wanting it, EC3 still says NO! Tyrus then assaults Matt, then holds him up so EC3 is able to hit him with it. EC3 then walks away feeling like a winner.

Taryn Terrell says she wants The Dollhouse to do something for her. Before we can say “Thank you”, we find out she means face Gail Kim in a cage.

Chris Mordetzkey is the next entrant in the main event, he hopes to be KOTM

The Wolves vs. Lee and Myers. The Wolves start by showing how well they work as a team early on by separating Myers. After a brief rally, Lee and Myers get sent outside, where they get hit by suicide dives. When Eddie Edwards gets Lee in the ring, Lee avoids a move off the top, and tags in Myers. Myers starts to dominate before tagging his new bro in. Myers goes for a pin, but Edwards kicks out. After Lee tsgs back in, they attempt a team move, but Edwards reverses, and tags in Davey Richards. Davey wrestling quite well for a man we had to remind is expecting a kid. A team assault leads to Edwards bringing Myers out of the ring, allowing Davey to get the win. A fun match that was a bit too short.

Lashley is asked if he thinks he can win, he says he will, and will defend TNA. Do we love Bobby.

Speaking of Donald Trump, the man he ignored, Tigre Uno vs. Dutt. The fans love Dutt. After Tigre Uno takes advantage early on, he forces Dutt to lay there with his hands closed while Tigre Uno kicks him. After a hurricanrana by Dultt, we get plugs. Tigre Uno is dominated outside, before being brought in for only two. Dutt seems to take Tigre Uno lightly, which causes him to get rolled up for three. Man the pacing is shot.

EC3 tells Jarrett he may be able to fool Dixie, but not him. Jarrett then tell him the winner of the KOTM match will face EC3 for the TNA Championship next week. We may have turned EC3 face.

Mr. Anderson talks about how Bram, who has signed a multi-year contract took his microphone, and has challenged him to an “Open mic challenge” at Turning Point next week. Boy these events happen quick.

The main event has Robbie E vs. Black vs. Mordetzky vs. Young vs. Lashley. Black and Mordetzky’s Twitter names are still their WWE names. Legal is gonna love this. Mordetzky and Lashley brawl quickly before Lashley pins Young. Black, who skydives a lot, then pins Mordetzky, who uprooted a tree to save his mother. Lashley then dominates both remaining men before they send him outside, then they brawl before Robbie pins Black. Then Lashley pins Robbie. Young and Mordetzky are back in the match as Lashley is alone against them going into break. As we return, Lashley is sent outside by both men before Mordetzky pins Young. Robbie and Black return, and attack each other while Mordetzky locks in the MordetzkyLock, a move Lashley once broke. Robbie then flies off and takes them both out. Black then goes for a ladder, but Robbie stops him. After they battle to get into the ring, Young returns and low-blows Robbie before piledriving him on the steps for three. Before Yonung can do anything, Lashley attacks him and takes the belt before Mordetzky grabs it. Black then fights him for the belt, leading to Both men brawling on top of the ladder. Lashley gets in, and knocks the ladder down before spearing both men. Lashley goes to win, but Young knocks the ladder, and hits Mirdetzky with the prize. Young goes to win, but Black jumps off the top turnbuckle, and stops him. Lashley then spears Young off the ladder. Black hits the 450 off the ladder, and goes on to win the match. EC3 then stands on the ramp to remind him what he’s up against next week. A great match that shows there’s still life left in the remains of this promotion.

While the sheer number of things taped and the pacing of the show tonight may be confusing, the wrestling itself reminds us why those that watch stay around. Hope next week’s pacing improves. Until then, have a good week.

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