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Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Impact Review 1/19/2016

Tonight may be about wasting the few months to decide if Matt Hardy or Ethan Carter III is the next TNA World Heavyweight Champion. The real question is how bady.

We see both Matt and EC3 walking to the arena, and a recap of how they got here. A shame this feud went too long.

Jeff Hardy is out in his gear to start the show. Jeff says he has a weird feeling, and wants to tell Matt know how he feels. After Matt emerges, Jeff tells Matt that Matt is the wrestler he is because of his brother, but that tonight is too risky. Matt says he feels like he let everyone down, and that he is at a crossroads. He says he needs to take this gamble, and he will beat EC3. Matt says EC3 leads with ego, which is the reason why he made the challenge. Matt says he hopes to make everyone proud. Jeff says he feels better having had this conversation. Tyrus interrupts and says that their dream may end. Matt may have EC3, but Jeff made it personal. Saying Jeff mocked his intelligence. As a result, Jeff makes a challenge to Tyrus after the break. A strange segment that sets up the action tonight. Still better than RAW.

Tyrus starts by dominating Jeff. Jeff is able to fight his way out of the corner, but slips after a whisper in the wind attempt. Tyrus takes advantage of the injury to stomp on the leg.  Tyrus is DQed after he goes for a weapon. Jeff is able to use a twist of fate to avoid the assault. Jeff won, but you know he’s in need of more surgery.

A package to present Feast or Fired, the match that Magnus decided cashing in wasn’t worth fighting back here. This time the TNA X-Division Championship sits it out.

TNA World Tag Team Champions The Wolves talk about facing Beer Money soon. They get attacked by Crazzy Steve, who looks like Sting’s 2011-2012 look, and Abyss, who’s still around.

TNA Knockout Champion Gail Kim vs. Awesome Kong is next. Both women start by feeling each other out, but Kong quickly dominates. Kong works the neck and back for a good minute before sending Gail outside. After The Dollhose heckle Gail, Kong sends her in and strickes her with hammerfists and chops. When Kong tries a splash, Gail rolls out of the way, and locks in a submission hold into a pin. Kong kicks out and continues her assault in the corner until Gail kicks her and gives her a tornado DDT. Gail goes to fly, but Jade pulls her down. After Gail fights The Dollhouse off, she goes up and splashes them. Back in the ring sees Gail use a neckbreaker. Jade breaks the count, leading to The Beautiful People brawl Marti Bell and Rebel away. A miscommunication by Kong and Jade leaves Jade laid out, and Kong eating defeat.

A recap of what everyone saw a half hour ago leads to no update.

Beer Money are out next to talk about how it took years for them both to re-form their team, and how their back to kick some ass. Eli Drake and Jesse Godderz mock Bram’s 2006, and how they want to beat Beer Money. After James Storm uses a few words from Roddy, Beer Money attack the two challengers before it is made into a tag team match. Storm starts by attacking Jesse. Drake grabs Storms leg, and starts the team assault before tagging in. Drake quickly targets Storm before tagging Jesse back in. Jesse showboats a bit too long, as he is his with a Russian legsweep. Both men on the apron tag in, followed by Bobby Roode using a “BAAAAAAAAACK BODY DROP”! This leads to Beer Money taking on eack opponent one at a time. Roode pins Jesse after Driving While Investing.

We see both Matt and EC3 preparing for their brutal match.

After a second replay, we see Matt and family noticing Jeff’s swollen knee. We need a ZPak joke.

Kurt Angle walks out next, presenting a recap of his match with Drew Galloway. Angle says walking out still feels like it did when he first did. After putting over his match with Drew, Angle says, as Goldberg used to ask, who’s next. When Angle says it’s a tough decision, Bobby Lashley emerges. Lashley says Angle saw something in Lashley over a decade ago, and thanks him for it. Lashley waited for the day when they would have a match. He remembers their match for the gold. Lashley says it haunts him that he lost, and challenges Angle to “One. More. Match”. Angle says that Lashley is dominant, and Angle isn’t sure he would be winning, and that’s why he’s accepting. After this, boy does Lashley sound nuts when he says he’ll beat his ass.

Before an Arnold-like killing of his career, Mike Bennett has a match next.

After Lashley talks about wanting to wrestle Angle, Raquel then talks about pain and shows her ass.

Maria talks about feeling the fans pain, which means she’s getting paid less than them. Anyway, Bennett is wrestling Pepper Parks. After locking up, Bennett corners Parks. After a brief taunt, Bennett gets attacked. This angers him more than finding out he’s signing here, and he starts attacking with strikes. After a bodyslam, Bennett continues the assault before ending the match. Bennett talks about a kingdom with miracles while ripping off the President’s 2009 catchphrase.

We see Bram is in Feast or Fired. If he loses, one of his multi-year deals ends.
EC3 talks about how the Championship is his family, and how Matt will be leaving in an ambulance. He then brings up the pale horse.

Christy Hemme know this main event will be balls to the ring announ… Wall. EC3 vs. Matt starts after Jeremy Borash’s announcement, which Matt interrupts by attacking EC3. Both men brawl to the outside, where EC3 attacks Matt along the rail, runs Matt into the steps, and suplexes Matt on the ramp. EC3 sets up several tables next to each other. Matt re-emerges to attack EC3 and set him up on the tables. EC3 recovers, and fights with Matt. The tables are forgotten for now, so they may factor in later. Matt heads out of the ring going into break. Back from break, Matt rams a ladder into EC3’s face, but EC3 gets up. Matt hits a side effect before getting a table of his own. After Josh Mathews blows the point of Chekov’s tables, EC3 recovers, and puts Matt on the table inside the ring. In what seem like an obvious double turn hint, it is addressed EC3 has fans as he splashes Matt off the ladder. Matt gets up before the count, and when EC3 goes for a TKO, Matt uses a twist of fate. The double turn idea is obvious when Matt uses a low-blow and argues with referee Brian Hebner. After a twist of fate onto the tables, both men fight back up as Matt brings EC3 into the ring. Matt brings in more weapons, and uses a chair for a third twist of fate. As bloods emanates from EC3’s mouth, he manages to get up at 9. Reby hands Matt a hammer, but EC3 uses a low-blow and a 1%er. Tyrus walks down, and attacks EC3. Despite this, EC3 gets up. EC3 avoids Tyrus, attacks Matt, then Tyrus. Matt hits EC3 with the Championship belt. Matt wins after this. A feel good moment at Bound For Glory flushed down the toilet, the toilet backed up, and it was flushed all over again. Oh, and we get a promo after this.

Matt starts talking about how he beat EC3 for himself. Yelling he ended an unpinned streak in a match where he didn’t pin anyone. He says he wanted to give back, but won’t listen to the fans anymore. He adds that he made himself, and has a dream life. He says he is the Champion. He thanked Tyrus, and calls himself Big Money Matt for hopefully the only time. He then gives EC3 a con-chair-to. Reby then spits on EC3. We’d say this place is dead, but it’s died more than Bram has re-signed.

At this point, we’d say that we’re surprised, but really, what is there? A promotion that had all the opportunities wasted them time after time to get rich quick or swerve everyone just to fool them. Boy insanity really is defined by our management. We’ll be here next week.

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