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Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Impact Review 6/14/2016-6/14/2016

Hope to make you laugh after a rough weekend. Especially with the third paragraph.


After a Slammiversary that saw Ethan Carter III let off some steam against Mike Bennett. Bobby Lashley, Sienna, and Eddie Edwards win gold. And the Hardys have a good match despite one’s use of Twitter. We turn to tonight.


We start with technical difficulties. Fitting to be honest. After 14 minutes of the same New Kids on the Block, That 70’s Show, and Celebrity Name Game ads, we get different commercials. Back from break, THE SAME GOD D--- COMMERCIALS! Oh, Jeff Hardy is wrestling TNA King of the Mountain Champion Eli Drake. Back to commercials. Did we pay our production people? Damn. At 9:21, Lashley appears. Back to commercials. This is like Dave Attel’s time travel. Lashley says anything can happen on live TV. No s---.  Now it’s choppy. And back to commercials. This would be so funny if we get paid. We see EC3 and Drew Galloway before going back to commercials. Already had more action than the 2010 and 2011 post BFG shows. PopTV is apologizing on Twitter. Don’t worry, short of New Jack wrestling Michael Ian Black, this is getting the best ratings we can get. This keeps going, so we drink NyQuil. Donna Pinciotti keeps saying she has the biggest hands in the world. We should a making Taylor Schilling the happiest woman in the world, but Dixie is blowing a gasket. Still going an hour past the start. We have seen the bad guy of Robocop now more times than Bram has re-signed. Going on one hour, fifteen minutes. We should’ve unplugged and plugged back in. An hour in, and the network apologizes and says they will air it from the beginning. We may be too drunk to give a proper review. Already 10:30. Still nothing apart from briefly showing a test pattern. Now why does Taimapedia have to be down! 10:49, and we finally begin. After recapping EC3, Jeff, and Lashley’s wins, we start with Lashley walking out. Lashley gives the fans a few seconds to yell, then says he told everyone he would be TNA World Heavyweight Champion. He says he is better than anyone else in wrestling. He then says he destroyed the guys the fans like. Lashley says that tonight’s Gold Rush is everyone leaving to not face him. Possibly. EC3 interrupts, to which fans are happy. EC3 wants to have a Championship match tonight. Lashley says EC3 isn’t real. After saying EC3 is the last hero left, Drew is next out. He wants a rematch, but Lashley says he’s beaten up. Drew says Lashley didn’t break him. Lashley says he is better than Drew, and everyone knows it. He says neith man will beat him. After Drew goads him some more, he gets his match.


We see Drake, Edwards, and TNA World Tag Team Champions The Decay before a recap from last night of Jeff and Drake yelling. Now they have a match. Josh Mathews says to set your DVR. Well things may be better next week. After a minute, both men feel each other out. Drake gets an early advantage because of Jeff’s match last night. Jeff takes advantage briefly, and sends Drake outside, though Drake gets him down on the outside. After getting Jeff on the rail, Drake gets inside. After Jeff gets back in and gets attacked, he won’t be pinned. Drake then uses a chinlock that Jeff gets out of. Drake then gets elbowed by Jeff, but pushes Jeff on the turnbuckle. Jeff avoids the superplex, and hits a whisper in the wind. Jeff then hits several moves of doom before going for a twist of fate that Drake gets out of and hits a powerslam. Drake tries for blunt force trauma, but Jeff reverses for a twist of fate. Jeff then hits a swanton bomb, but Matt Hardy attacks for a DQ win for Jeff.  This angle won’t die.


EC3 wonders if Drew should wrestle tonight. EC3 better remain face. Back in the ring, Jeff says “Brother Moore” better get in the ring. This leads to Matt standing at the stairs Jeff swanton bombed him from. Jeff says he is angry at Matt right now, to which Matt says Jeff won’t be waking up from this nightmare. Fans want to wake up. Matt rambles on about Jeff having no remorse, and wants Jeff deleted. What is he smoking. They yell about meeting on the stairs, and Jeff runs there. Jeff grabs a table, but  Matt says not to use it. They brawl before Reby sprays Jeff with a fire extinguisher. Matt then slides Jeff on the banisher onto a table.


Matt now wants to wrestle Jeff inside of a cage.


Edwards defends the TNA X-Division Championship against Trevor Lee, who attacks to start the match. Despite this, Edwards keep kicking out. After the assault, Edwards strings together offense that sees Gregory Shane Helms try to stop things twice. The first time is successful, but the second one is not Edwards has Lee prime for the Boston knee party, which helps him retain.


A recap of past Hall of Famers, some are still here.


BroMans plug Big Brother by spying on Raquel. Ok.


A recap of Drew getting his match leads to EC3 and Lashley arguing about #1 Contendership.


Dixie is out to announce who is going into the Hall of Fame. After thanking everyone, she puts over the person by saying she sets the bar. Well she needs a day job. It is announced that it is Gail Kim. Dixie gives Gail the mic to thank everyone. Gail adds she got in wrestling because she loves it, and she has loved it for 16 years. She then thanks everyone again.


Rosemary talks about bringing someone in. Ok.


Jeremy Borash talks to Marti Bell, who cost Jade the TNA Knockout Championship. Marti says Jade betrayed her, which leads to Jade attacking really well.


The Decay defend against BroMans, Grado and Mahabali Shera, and The Tribunal. Shera throws Judge Baron Dax around before tagging in Grado. Robbie E tags in to face Grado, who gets a few hits in before Robbie ducks. Crazzy Steve tags in against Robbie. While Robbie attacks early on, Steve gets on offense before Basille Baracka (We think that’s it’s spelling), tags in. He gets Robbie in trouble, but Robbie is able to tag in Jesse Godderz, who clears house before Abyss tries his hand. Jesse puts the big man down. BroMans use the BroDown and Adonis crab before Abyss leads top everyone coming in. Grado briefly holds off Steve, but Abyss provides the assist so Steve will end the match.


We get Maria yelling about Gail, and Jeff accepting Matt’s challenge. Interesting.


The Bennetts are in the ring. Bennett says no one gets that TNA needed him. He says they need to appreciate him, which leads to Maria, who’s arm is in a brace because of injury, saying that he was destined to be here, and no one listens. Bennett wants his loss stricken. Billy then is out. He says that they may be the future, this is not the way to go about getting what they want. They demand to see Dixie like they haven’t been paid. Well she does walk out. After being scolded for saying Dixie should listen to her, she talks about going in the HOF. Dixie exchanged words towards Maria. Dixie then slaps Maria. This isn’t RAW.


After a recap of the last segment, nothing happens.


Lashley and Drew main event with EC3 on commentary. Lashley then attacks ribs with several major hits. Drew starts to battle out going into break. Back from break, that was quick, Drew has Lashley reeling on the outside. Though Lashley uses the ribs again in order to get Drew on the ground. Lashley waits too long, because Drew uses a sunset flip to basically get two. Lashley however, uses his power to dominate. As both men go outside, Lashley tries taunting EC3, but Drew prevents any more happening. Lashley gets Drew back inside, and rips the protection from Drew. Lashley then goes for a spear, but Drew reverses into a Kimura. Lashley makes it to the ropes, which has EC3 laying it on that he may end up wrestling Drew, who then attempts a tombstone, though he uses a piledriver. Drew then gets Lashley up top to hit a super-Celtic-cross, but Lashley kicks out. Drew attempts a Claymore, but referee Brin Hebner accidentally gets it. Lashley then spears Drew. Lashley hits a second one before getting a chair. EC3 pulls it from him, and attacks Lashley. EC3 now has the chair, and aims to hit Lashley, but after Lashley gets out of the way, a recovering Drew is hit. Lashley then hits a spear on EC3, and uses a head and arm triangle choke to retain by a referee stopping.


Well to say this was a rough start is an understatement. After all of that, the network will air it again Wednesday night at 9:00 PM Eastern-Time. We do suggest watching
for yourself if you are able to.

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