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Tuesday, June 7, 2016

Impact Review 6/7/2016

Will tonight be as ridiculous as last week? Only one way to find out.


A recap of last week’s mess leads to Matt Hardy walking toward the ring. He says that Jeff Hardy is now out of his life for stopping him from becoming TNA World Heavyweight Champion. He says he aims to regain the Championship, and challenges Champion Drew Galloway. Drew says Matt has lost his mind, but Matt says he has evolved, and deserves to be added to Drew against Bobby Lashley. Drew say that this is already over. Matt wants the match anyway. Drew says he’s defended around the world, but the answer is still no. Drew then says he will defend tonight against Matt.


TNA Knockout Champion Jade will observe the #1 Contender match between Madison Rayne and Sienna. An ad for Slammiversary this Sunday. Sienna begins by powerfully attacking. Despite this, Madison tries to topple the beast. Sienna battles ahead with a suplex. Madison uses repeated strikes before hitting a northern lights suplex, but is hit with an AK-47. No, this is not Commando, that’s Sienna’s move. After winning, Sienna is attacked by Jade.


Mike Bennett and Maria talk about how they’ll defeat Ethan Carter III and Gail Kim.


After a strange Willow thing, it gets worse. TNA King of the Mountain Champion Eli Drake is on a mountain to introduce Fact of Life. He says he will defeat Bram at Slammiversary. He then introduces TNA World Tag Team Champions The Decay. Drake puts over the Tag Champions as a methodical insanity. Rosemary says they believe in what everyone says doesn’t exist. Crazzy Steve says they have embraced crazy. Abyss says beautiful. This brings BroMans and Raquel out. After a quick exchange, Grado and Mahabali Shera for some reason. Drake refers to them as dummies. Grado and Shera are attacked by The Tribunal. This leads to a brawl where Bram attacks Drake. This leads to a 10-man tag team match. Shera throws Drake around as Bram tags in. Bram now faces Abyss, who gets an early edge as Al Snow blows a whistle. Bram rebounds against both Decay members and tags in Robbie E. Steve is able to tag in Judge Baron Dax, who tags in his partner frequently. Robbie is beaten up a bit before Jesse Godderz tags in and hits a BroDown, leading to Abyss chokeslamming him, Shera sends him outside. The Tribunal his a double chokeslam. Bram sends them away, and Drake low-blow’s Grado to get a pin.


Gail says Maria cannot hide, and EC3 says the game is over.


A recap of Drew accepting Matt’s request for a match leads to Bobby Lashley telling Matt he won’t stand for Matt threatening him. He will not let anyone stand in his way.


Bennett and Maria emerge with a bag of some sort. This leads to a weigh-in erupting in a brief brawl. Gail and EC3 are next up. Maria announces Allie will be wrestling in her place. Allie tries to admonish EC3, but gets Gail. Who beats her up as EC3 brawls for a bit with Bennett. When both men run off to fight, Allie tries a suplex, but is pinned. After the match, Sienna attacks.


A video for Drew vs. Matt is interrupted by Willow again. Damn.


An ad for the Best of the Asylum. No, not Sharknado Asylum.


We see Braxton “Pepper Parks” Sutter.


TNA X-Division Champion Trevor Lee vs. Eddie Edwards starts with a brawl. After Edwards proceeds to chop Lee outside, the match goes inside. Lee utilizes Gregory Shane Helms’ distraction, but Edwards slides outside to go after Helms, even countering Lee. Once the match goes back inside, Lee tears at Edwards, and sends him into the corner. Edwards sees an opening, and uses his speed to get Lee outside, and twice launches himself at Lee. Edwards gets him, back inside, and goes to backpack stun him, but Lee reverses out and gets a two. Lee then picks up Edwards, but is sent into the corner. When Lee goes to run, he is reversed for two before kicking out. Edwards goes to fly, but Andrew Everett pushes him off. This only gets two. This leads to DJZ taking out Everett, but Helms hits Edwards with the X-Division Championship belt. Lee uses tights to be sure.


Lashley wishes Drew luck tonight, and says he will win Sunday. Drew says he made Kurt Angle submit, and will do the same to him.


Next week is live. We need more NyQuil.


Gail is storyline injured. Seems likely who’s going to win.


Sutter wrestles against a brightly-dressed opponent. After a tie-up, Sutter basically chops away. Any offense his opponent mounts is brought to an end by Sutter, who gets a win using a flatliner. Afterwards, Jeremy Borash congratulates him. Sutter thanks him and the fans. He adds he hopes to be at Slammiversary, and says it’s no BS.


Another f---ing Willow segment. This time, he speaks. This may mean he’s a two-time Gooker contender.


EC3 says Ave Maria. He may be killing a referee to steaa his gear, and get close to Bennett.


A video for Drew against Lashley brings us to the main event. Running a bit late. Not sure it will end well. After a tie-up, Josh Mathews forgets neither of the Hardys team up anymore. Drew sends Matt outside. Both brawl outside as Drew sends Matt against the apron. Drew is his in the stomach, and given a side effect on the steps. Matt gets Drew inside and sends a boot up Drew’s stomach. Drew will not be pinned. Despite Matt’s repeated pinning attempts, he only gets two. A bit of a yay/boo leads to Drew kicking out again. Matt starts biting Drew and locks him in a submission maneuver. After Drew gets out, another yay/boo leads to Drew chopping away. Matt gets out, and tries to fly, but is his with a Celtic Cross. Drew tries superplexing, but Matt headbutts. Drew finds strength to send Matt down. Drew gets ready, and almost hits a Claymore, but Lashley attacks. Drew sends him outside, and the two men brawl to the backstage part of the studio. The lights go out, and a Willow laugh. When they are back on, fans are wearing masks. Then several Willows. Short of Reigns on PCP killing someone and starring in the Ghostbusters remake, The Gooker is ours. Jeff emerges as Jeff, and brawls to end the show.


Well, this angle is not done. See you next week.

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