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Thursday, March 30, 2017

Impact Review 3/30/2017

Here we are again, Fighting to be the owl in the coalmine with this show.

Josh tries to testify before Karen interrupts wanting the rest of creative to find Sienna, then we see last week, when she hit the moron.

Karen is out here, she won't fire, but now wants to discuss Sienna bullying everyone. Great timing given what WWE has happening. Sienna tries intimidating Steph-Lite, but it doesn't work. The exchange goes like this several times before the cousin Sienna only told us about now, Kevin "KM" Matthews interrupts. Braxton Sutter runs to make the save to end the segment.

The remaining X-Division talks about making it great, then DJZ wrestles Andrew Everett. As each feel out, Everett goes outside, only for DJZ to fly after him. DJZ brings him back inside & crossbodies Everett as Josh reminds us why no one should follow him. DJZ has this until a springboard dropkick puts Everett in the lead before trying his moonsault. DJZ gets his feet up, then tries a ZDT, but is rolled-up to end the match. After the match, The Helms Dynasty berate him.

Up next is Impact Knockout Champion Rosemary to talk about her 5-month reign. She talks about dispatching everyone she's ever faced. This brings out ODB to drink and talk trash. We like her. Before Rosemary can leave, the division are out here. Everybody wants some before the brawl breaks out.

Don tries selling the shirt Reby improved.

Josh suses "Slap Nuts". Damn.

Now out here is Ethan Carter III. He thanks everyone, then aplogizes to Karen. He then says he needs to be the man he was before in order to defeat Impact World Heavyweight Champion Bobby Lashley. For some reason, James Storm, looking like The DCC better be dead. Storm respects EC3, but he says he built the place. Storm talks about the things he's done as why he deserves the shot. After asking everyone if they should wrestle, they agree to accept the outcome.

Lorado Kid & Garza Jr. talk about looking to win the Impact World Tag Team Championships. Followed then by Reno Scum. Both have a shot, Right? Maybe. But we don't remember.

But now Cody, GFW Not-X-Division-Champion battles Impact Grand-Champion Moose for the Grand gold in only the second bout tonight. Well this is a new low for 2017. Moose begins by using his power, until Cody uses a tornado DDT, though Moose breaks out a moonsault. The match heads outside, where Moose begins chopping away, until he his the post. He duck's the kick of Cody, which KO's a judge. Back inside, Cody uses a hagman's DDT as the 1st ends going into break. Don has LAX stuff, none with Hernandez. Back from break, Bruce is here to judge. The 1st goes to Moose. As the 2nd begins, Moose brawls before Cody hits the clothesline, which enables him to stomp away before using the knee on Moose's stomach. This soon has Moose try a pin, but the match heads back outside, where Moose goes for a weapon, but Brandi Rhodes tries to stop him. This buys Cody to strike, then use the figure-four before the round ends. The 2nd belongs to Cody as Brandi leaves. The 3rd starts with a brawl before Moose bashes Cody with the clothesline, then Cody uses the disaster-kick. Then a yay/boo starts until they grapple and punch to the ground. Again brawling to end the 3rd. The fans take to believing in one more-round, but the win is Moose's.

We see the exact moment The Wolves explode before hearing about a last man standing bout next week.

Eli Drake talks about the new stars the promotion has, and that he brings it to a new level.

Karen hands Borash the note that next week will feature the battle royal to decide who will be wrestling Rosemary.

KM next vs. Braxton Sutter. KM throws Sutter until Sutter begins chopping away & 10-punching. Both wrestlers exchange momentum until the double-clothesline. Allie briefly heads in the ring to run away from a pursiung Sienna, this keeps going until it brings KM the opportunity to use a powerbomb into his own knees to end the match. After the match, all four brawl until Laurel Van Ness emerges looking like she four our 4-Loko.

LAX speaks in English ti devise their strategy.

Someone will try something on Sutter and Allie on the 14th.

The Decay vs. Reno Scum vs. LAX vs. Lorado Kid and Garza Jr. Still not sure who's who with most of these teams, but do our greatest. Both Reno Scum guys have Lorado Jr. isolated, but his agility helps him until LAX member Ortiz brawls. This leads to everyone brawling outside until Lorado Kid flies, after him, Garza Jr. does so going into break. Back from break, Lorado Jr. does well, but LAX uses some great double-teaming until Abyss tags in & dominates Lorado Kid. But when Crazzy Steve tags in, he forgets to be nowhere near Reno Scum, who take over until Lorado Kid tags in LAX, who taks out anyone entering. Even the women get involved, but this leads to LAX getting the win over Lorado Kid.

The wrestling gets interesting, the booking hinders.

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