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Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Impact's Going To Hell Tour Review: 11/11/2015

We haven’t been canceled yet, so let’s look at the show that made Taryn Terrell find Jesus.

After a recap of last week’s show, the announcements of tonight’s match then bring he commentary team that makes fans yearn for Rob Bartlett.

Before Gail Kim vs. Madison Rayne, we get a video of Madison in Ninja Queen. She starts acting like a ninja. You know Madison hiding behind a houseplant will be the big image in the WrestleCrap induction. After Madison works a chinlock for what seems like 2 minutes, there are multiple near-falls. Josh Mathews says he’s blown-up watching this. That’s because he’s punching the Josh to his wife right now. Gail starts flaying aroiund going into break. Back from break, Gail is thrown outside. Madison goes out after her, but then gets sent into the steps. She should be careful, she’s not Davey Richards. Gail then uses a Dragon Sleeper before Madison reverses into a backbreaker. After a quick yay boo. Madison gets angry she isn’t able to keep Gail down. Shortly after this, Gail rolls Madison to get 3 points. 6 points overall.

After a recap of the last match, we get an interview with Matt Hardy. He’s on via Skype. Good thing we don’t have Sunny. Matt talks about hoping to go undefeated while there is a beepinng. Someone better change the batteries on that alarm. Matt also says he had to do the right thing because of Ethan Carter III, TNA World Tag Team Champion Eddie Edwards will truly be a challenge, and that he hopes to face EC3 in the finals. Boy that match will be great if we taped that.

Eli Drake talks about being a little bit better than Jesse Godderz. Take Whatever will fact being there is. Jesse says Drake will be on a milk jug, while Jesse will be on a cereal box. Good thing he doesn’t reference a man named Bruce. After a long, drawn out opening part, they finally use a Greco-Roman knucklelock. We get a few quick instances of power between both men. One can see Jesse has improved a bit, but Drake has better moves. Drake targets the knee, so Jesse’s the default face. A few quick pin attempts then sees Drake and Jesse attempt dirty pins repeatedly before Drake crotches Jesse on the top turnbuckle. Drake then uses the ropes to get 3 points. 4 points overall.

EC3 is seen outside the place Finn Balor and Jason Jordan were near recently. He says he has a package to deliver. This is part of our attempt to have TNA TnA on Playboy TV: Soon with 90% less of the stuff you want.

Drake then rattles off about “beating keister”. It’s like The Rock had to go TV-PG.

We hear “awards” for all these matches. Matt’s MVP, Wolves have match of the series, Mahabali Shera is the most improved? TNA Ghost James storm wins for most disappointing? And Bobby Lashley vs. TNA Ghost Austin Aries win for the biggest match not seen yet.

Matt vs. Eddie is next. Both men start with a handshake, then a quick feeling out. After Matt gets out of a chinlock, he sends Eddie into the corner and attempts a pin going into break. Back from break, Matt is dominating until he is sent outside. Eddie flies out after him. We hear The Pope explain a suicide dve. Next week, he explains why it’s called a chokeslam. Matt tries a side effect in the apron, but Eddie uses an enziguri and DDT. Eddie gets Matt back in the ring, and basically chops away. A quick yay boo leads to a double clothesline. Matt recovers first, and attempts a tornado DDT. Eddie reverses to try a backpack stunner, but is sleeperslammed. Matt attempts to go off the top, but is set up for a backpack stunner. Eddie attempts to fly, but we get several quick reversals in a short span. Matt now attempts a superplex. He is initially thrown off, but hits a twist of fate for 3 points. 9 points overall. Roman Reigns wishes he got Matt’s push.

A recap of the Bound For Glory main event, EC3 goes into Dixie’s office, where there are among other things, the 2007-2010 TNA World Heavyweight Championship belt, the NWA-TNA X-Division Championship belt, several baseballs, and a lot of Kurt Angle merchandise.  EC3 begins berating Dixie, he then hands her the fine for attacking John Gaburick. Totally worth it.

A recap of the previous match leads to Matt putting Eddie over as a threat in this series.

Mandrews vs. DJZ up next. Several quick reversals before Mandrews sends DJZ outside. Mandrews flies out and hits DJZ with more offense. Once back inside, Mandrews uses a jawbreaker. When Mandrews tries a standing moonsault, but DJZ kicks him out of the way and takes advantage. After a dominating series by DJZ, Mandrews is able to get back in with several hurricaranas. There is a quick series of near winning by both men. Mandrews tries a shooting star press, but DJZ uses the knees to get 3 points. 6 points overall.

For Mahabali Shera, we get a montage (montage).

Next week sees Erie Young vs. Storm, and whatever name we have for that Big Red Belt this week Champion Bobby Roode vs. Abyss.

Young hears about not being looked at to win. A moment that only occurred a few minutes ago. Young says no one will hear of Storm ever again. Young doesn’t have WWE Network.

Crimson talks about how he’ll defeat Micah. Sadly, the match was an “earlier today”. So you won’t see him rip a man’s appendix out.

EC3 taped a promo from India. He says Mr. Anderson will not be ending his chances at becoming Champion again. This leads to the announcement that the semi-finals will be from Mumbai. Guess this means the series was not planned when all these matches were taped several months before they aired.

Drew Galloway talks about sacrificing everything for wrestling. So forgive him for his recent comments.

Awesome Kong vs. Brooke is also next week.

A video for the big main event shows highlights of EC3 and Mr. Anderson’s recent matches leads to the main event. A war of words leads to Mr. Anderson punching, chopping, and kicking. EC3 briefly battles back before Mr. Anderson sends him rolling to the outside going into break. Back from break, both men are brawling outside. After returning to the ring, Mr. Anderson punches away before baseball sliding Tyrus. Turning his sites back to EC3, Mr. Anderson attacks him on the ropes before attempting a mic check. EC3 reverses, and sends both men outside. EC3 gets in the ring and distracts referee Earl Hebner so Tyrus battles Mr. Anderson. This includes randomly stepping on Mr. Anderson’s hand. EC3 gets Mr. Anderson back into the ring, and suplexes him. EC3 then targets the midsection with knees and stomps before using a sit-out front suplex. EC3 then uses the ropes in his assault on Mr. Anderson. EC3 uses a chinlock with 5:00 remaining. Mr. Anderson gets out, and briefly brings EC3 down before a double clothesline. Both men get up for a yay boo before Mr. Anderson uses several elbows before Mr. Anderson hits a swanton. After an attempt at a mic check is blocked, EC3 goes for a 1%er off the top. When Mr. Anderson hits the Lambeau leap, Tyrus distracts the referee. Mr. Anderson then wallops him with a chair. Mr. Anderson then almost uses a chair to hit EC3, but when the referee takes the chair, EC3 hits a low-blow. This sees several attempts at finishers before EC3 gets a quick pin and 3 points. 7 points overall.

Well at least we know that the winner of this tournament may likely now not be the man we booked before. But if we know anything, Shera will probably win. Until next week.

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