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Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Impact Review 12/9/2015

Well RAW’s at 2.15, Daniel Bryan may be leaving WWE, and the divas angles are melding into one mess. So let’s watch the one main roster show that makes sense.

Rundown of Eric Young against TNA X-Division Champion Tigre Uno, Mahabali Shera against Bobby Lashley, Matt Hardy against Jesse Godderz, and TNA World Tag Team Champion Davey Richards against Ethan Carter III.

After going over Shera and Lashley’s past successes and “successes”, the match begins. Shera attacks with clotheslines and stomps. For him, this is like using Bret “The Hitman” Hart’s whole moveset. Though when he dances on the turnbuckle, he takes the last ride. Lashley then uses the ropes to choke Shera going into break. Boy that Flex Seal guy should market that liquid rubber thing to Trojan. Back from break, and Lashley’s beating Shera on the outside while high fiving fans. If Young did that, fans would do the same. We’re on YouTube. You almost got to see new episodes there as well. Shera brawls out of Lashley’s assault before bringing him back into the ring. Shera stays on offense before Lashley hits a spear to win. Believe that.

A look at Young vs. Tigre Uno shows how the former has moved through this mess. We also see how Tigre Uno advanced. Even the reverse elimination match. Then we see a promo by Young where he says he will beat whoever he faces. He seems to be doing this promo from a darkened room. So he may be in the stands of our last house show.

Dixie will be interviewed later. Get some booze.

We saw how Jesse beat TNA Ghost Awesome Kong, then he talks about what he’s capable of, and showing who the man is. Or something. Not a bad promo.

Tigre Uno vs. Young sees Young demand Tigre Uno leave, only to get a springboard to start. Young better be careful. We’ll give up him, and half the remaining KOs for D-Bryan. Young’s attempt to fly results in him having to use his power. Eventually squeezing Tigre Uno’s head going into break. Back from break, Young has a chinlock before choking Tigre Uno on the ropes. A possible reference to Madison Rayne is hidden in a plug of calendars. Young throws Tigre Uno outside and beats him some more. After RAW, Zeb Colter approves. Young misses a moonsault, leading to a hurricarana outside. Tigre Uno then uses more of a flying assault that only Ryback can do, but Young uses the ropes to try a pin. Young does hit a piledriver to advance.

Young says he gave Tigre Uno a chance to leave. He wishes he had that.

The Pope may have spoiled something later. 

Matt vs. Jesse is next. Matt starts off strong with some technical ability, but Jesse shows he can literally carry in the same way everyone says he has to be carried. As the match goes on, the fans are not as excited as one can expect for people having to watch weeks of content recorded in days. Matt rams Jesse’s head into the turnbuckle. Jesse seems unaffected by hits to the head. Davey needed weeks to get to that point. Matt and Jesse brawl going into break. Abilify may lead to degenerate gambling. We may have taken those pills. Back from break, Jesse’s got brutal stomps going on. Good thing they’re not in curb-like fashion. Bringing a brutal assault on the back of Matt, Jesse goes for several pin attempts before Matt elbows his way out. Talking about Matt’s side effect after that lawyer ad is weird. Matt elbows the back of the head before we realize Matt is in much better shape now than when this match was recorded. Jesse goes for the Boston crab called the Adonis crab, but Matt reaches the ropes. When Jesse tries something else, he’s hit with a twist of fate, leading to a Matt advancement.

Josh Mathews talk about big moments in 2015 like Drew Galloway signing, EC3 going to court, and Bram signing a new multi-year contract. Ok, maybe the first two being brought up happened. Bram goes without saying. Dixie says we created opportunity. Bram sadly didn’t grab this one by the throat. We find out that new semi-finals and finals will be airing live on the Preview channel.

A recap of the angle that started this tournament.

Next week fills time, as Group Future 4 faces Group X-Division, and TNA World Tag Team Champion Eddie Edwards, Mr. Anderson, Rockstar Spud, and TNA Whatever The Belt Is Called This Week If It Hasn’t Been Dropped Champion Bobby Roode face off in a cage.

Recaps of earlier wins from tonight before all the big stuff tonight boils down to Davey vs. EC3. EC3 is puffed with pride when he belittles Davey. Clapping by fans better not swell EC3. Davey retorts before they brawl and grapple. Davey then whips Ethan around while attacking the previously injured arm. Davey sends EC3 outside as we hear that Tyrus has a future shot. We may have to book that match. EC3 out-powers Davey, and sends him outside going into break. Back from break, EC3’s stomping away on Davey. Davey even sells going into the turnbuckle like a bowling pin. As EC3 tries to stay on offense, Davey briefly shows him American strong style. Once Davey sees an opening, he kicks away, and nearly concusses EC3 with one. EC3 battles back with a TKO, but only gets to two. As EC3 goes up onto the buckle, Davey scrambles more brains with headbutts. Davey then uses several suplexes, but EC3 keeps kicking out. After numerous attempted finishers, EC3 uses a power move, followed by a 1%er to make it Matt vs. Young and Lashley vs. EC3.

Next week may be the last show on this network, and if not, we’ll hopefully put together the most offensive stuff we’ve done just to say goodbye in the way that we know how. Until then, have a good week.

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