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Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Impact Review 5/11/2016


We seem to may be trying to bring in Ryback or Damien Sandow. Get ready for a new main event star.

 

After the usual team of announcing and doom welcome everyone, and then a recap of last week’s big mess, Jeff Hardy wants answers about TNA World Tag Team Champions The Decay. Jeff looks like he’s been hit with mist. The Decay interrupt, AND SAY Jeff is weak. Jeff says they’re not dead yet, but they will be. Rosemary hints they were paid. Who has Billy chosen you may be wondering if you forgot what Matt Hardy’s gimmick has been this year. There is now an assault, which leads to James Storm making the save. Storm says he and Jeff know about tag teams. Abyss says they already defeated him, but they will beat them both. Jeff says they’re in for a storm. Guessing this is a Tag Team Championship match. An ad for our early years. When things were better. Now Jeff starts off with Crazzy Steve. After a few quick moves, Storm tags in. Storm uses his power to cancel Steve’s speed. This leads to Abyss tagging in. Both men exchange punches before a Storm gets him reeling. Rosemary distracts to help Abyss gain his footing. Bringing Abyss throws Storm around before tagging Steve in. Steve tries a move in the corner, but Storm gets out of the way and tags in Jeff. Jeff uses several moves of doom before getting a near-fall. Jeff attempts a twist of fate, but Steve tags in Abyss, who gets his with one. Jeff attempts a swanton bomb, but a man dressed as Willow stands on the ramp. Jeff is distracted, and finished by The Decay. RD, we have our Gooker nominee.

 

A recap of last week’s announcement of the main event and he war it lead to, leads to TNA World Heavyweight Champion Drew Galloway saying Bobby Lashley needs to remember he is a man. Drew is taping his fists, which either means he’ll make sure Austin goes over, or he’s ready to face Lashley. A commando-like assault.

 

Jeff asks "WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED" The Black Scorpion.

 

Billy uses Mike Bennett and Maria to put over Liz Phair. Obviously the segment is about Bennett politicking, but it’s awkward.

 

Drew is in the ring demanding Lashley come out. When Lashley does, he says he’s glad Drew grew a set. Drew says Lashley’s attacking from behind is cowardly, and Drew’s not scared of him. Lashley says he should be, and brings up the wrestlers he’s beaten. Lashley respects Drew’s still here, and he’s inspired to take the Championship. Drew says his ribs still hurt after Lashley speared him, and that he may have almost lost the belt against Tyrus, but he won’t be broken. He makes a challenge to wrestle now. And Lashley then brings up how he’s in Drew’s head. Lashley says he’ll wrestle him next week to become Champion. Drew wants to fight now. Lashley re-affirms it will be next week by telling Drew the fans deserve a big match. Eli Drake interrupts, and says he may not be #1 Contender for Drew’s gold, but he’ll make a case for it tonight. Drew accepts Drake’s challenge to defend tonight by fighting him outside going into break. Back from break, Drew stomps on Drake, and throws him around. Drake is able to jump over the rope, and grab Drew’s hair to start to dominate. Drake uses a powerslam to damage Drew’s ribs. He then mounted punches a few times before Drew reverses an attempt to send him outside. This leads to both men fighting outside before Drake gets Drew back inside. After a desperation maneuver by Drew, a yay/boo sees Drew gain momentum. Drew goes for a future shock, but after Drake gets out, Drew has to hit a powerslam. Drew goes up top, but Drake recovers quickly, and superplexes Drew. When Drake goes for Drew’s gold for a distraction, he is met with a future shock, and a claymore, leading to Drew retaining. Afterwards, brutal spear by Lashley then sees him hold the Championship belt.

 

Ethan Carter III makes it clear he wants a rematch. He needs to know you need to kick him in the groin then refer to yourself as one angry and vengeful grim reaper.

 

Gail Kim and TNA Knockout Champion Jade are informed by Maria they will be wrestling in a Championship match later, and Sienna will be out there.

 

EC3 likes the crowd chants for him, and says he doesn’t want to talk over it. He adds he’s looking to talk about a rematch. This leads to the Bennetts. EC3 cuts her off, leading to Bennett claiming he’s moved on. EC3 says Bennett is in doucheville, and that he just made a meme. They go over their cases about yes or no. EC3 says since there is no opponent right now, he wants the rematch. Maria says Billy listened to their idea, which Bennett reveals EC3 needs to defeat “the demons from his past”. EC3 accepts. The first match will be in a cage against a wrestler to be revealed before the match.

 

A recap of Jeff’s what-have-you.

 

Gail wrestles Jade. Again, Best of WWE star AJ Styles and UFC Star possibly eventually CM Punk. The match starts with both wrestlers getting a sense of the other while Sienna watches. Jade uses a chinlock, but Gail gets out of it. Both have nearfalls nonstop. Jade’s hurricarana leads to a yay/boo. Eventully, Jade uses a German to get two. A test of strength leads to both wrestlers down. Once Gail is up, she and Jade take the fight outside, where Gail hits a crossbody, then gets Jade inside. A momentary distraction by Sienna leads to Gail getting hit with a dive. Then Sienna hits Jade. Gail then attacks Sienna, but Sienna brings her in the ring and finishes her assault.

 

Al Snow shows wrestlers training in his school, and says he will shut the door in the faces of Grado and Mahabali Shera.

 

EC3 wants to know who it is he faces later.

 

Snow and Shera wrestle again. Snow’s offense early on is reversed, which leads to Snow taking out another a weapon, uses it, and hides it. Snow then brings Shera shoulder-first into the steel ringpost. Snow initially attempts to use one wrist’s tape, which is a distraction so he will be using the other tape. Snow heaves Shera outside, and attacks him on the steps. Snow gets Shera back inside, and is angered by Grado chanting. Snow is surprised that Shera keeps kicking out. Grado stops Snow from using his weapon, leading to Shera winning using the sky-high.

 

Jeff fights a “Willow”. We use a gif of Robocop smashing a villain’s brain on Twitter. It works for this bastard here too. After break, two more help the first one. Robocop, smashing villain’s brain.

 

Next week is Drew vs. Lashley.

 

EC3 finds out who he faces. It is going to be revealed after the break. Back from break, EC3 faces off against Rockstar Spud. EC3 and Spud start by brawling. Tweet of the Night is from EC3: “I'm inside a cage. Right now”. Spud is able to use a low-blow, and his own belt, but his escape attempts are stopped by EC3. Both men brawl near the top before Spud throws EC3 down, and elbows him. Spud tries using part of his belt buckle to stab EC3, but EC3 stops him, and sends Spud into the steel. They again fight o. n the top of the structure. EC3 drags Spud in long enough to press slam Spud. EC3 then hits the 1%er to win.

 

A final look at next week’s Championship bout.

 

Great action. Weird booking. Same as usual. Until next week.

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